But she deserved better than my twisted fantasies—the only fantasies I knew how to conjure given my profession. How was I ever supposed to have a normal relationship with a girl when all I could think of was coming on her face or fucking her up the ass? Those were my default fantasies. Those were the situations I found myself in, because all of the women that I went out with wanted them. I filmed porn, so in turn, I wanted to fuck like porn. That stereotype couldn’t be further from the truth.
“You up for poker tonight?” Ben loped into my office. He had his hair pulled back into a small ponytail, which told me he’d been editing film.
“I can’t. I…have an appointment.”
He plopped into one of the leather chairs on the opposite side of my desk. “You mean you’re going to see Everly?”
“I told you, I’m helping her train.”
There was a hell of a lot more going on, which was why Ben answered my statement with a “hmmm.” I saved the file I had been working on and turned my attention to my friend.
Instead of pushing the subject, he crossed one leg over his knee. “I think I’m going to have a get-together at my place. Break in the new amenities.”
Ben had purchased a brand-new house right on the water. His first real home. It was gorgeous. I knew every nook and cranny, considering Fridge and I had helped him move in.
“You won’t be bailing.” He pointed at me. “Maybe you could bring Everly.”
“And subject her to you assholes?” I shook my head. There was no way I was bringing her to meet my friends. Once her list was done she wouldn’t be around, and the gesture would have been for nothing. “I’d rather take my chances introducing her to my—”
“Max!” Speak of the devil.
My father’s booming voice caused me to jump in my seat. Lately, my nerves escalated whenever he was in the room.
He walked up to my desk and nodded toward Ben. “Benson. Good to see you.”
“Good to see you, too, sir.”
My father was an intimidating guy to most people, but Ben wasn’t afraid of him, considering he’d practically grown up in my house. His presence hadn’t been because we had any number of porn stars on the premises at a given time, but because my mother had practically adopted him when she’d realized his own mother preferred the company of men over that of her son.
Ben got out of his seat as if to leave, but my father placed a hand on his shoulder and pushed him down. “No need to leave, son. I won’t be long.”
“What’s up, Dad?”
I didn’t have time to talk. Especially if our talk was going to be about me taking over. The last few times it had come up in conversation, my feelings were different. I wasn’t sure anymore if this was the path I wanted to go down.
“I just got off the phone with Randall Hunter.”
Randall Hunter was Silicon Valley’s finest producer of pornography. And my father’s friend, although Randall considered him a rival. That small distinction told a person all they needed to know about my father. He wasn’t in this to make enemies. He was in this to make money, plain and simple.
“And what did Randall want this time?”
He was forever calling, trying to broker some kind of deal where he could rent one of our contract girls for a single feature. Our girls made the most money in the business because I worked hard to make it happen. Well, worked. I wouldn’t say I worked very hard. Which was ironic, considering hard was the name of the game.
“He made me an offer to buy White Lace.”
My head snapped up from where I had lowered my eyes to focus on anything but my father. I looked over at Ben, who was equally surprised.
“You both seemed as shocked as I am.”
“How good an offer?” I asked. I hoped it was an offer he couldn’t refuse.
“Good enough that for a second, I actually considered it.”
Ben whistled from his seat. He was practically family, which was why I knew my father didn’t have an issue with discussing this in front of him. He’d learned a long time ago, anything he told me, I ended up telling Ben anyway.
“How do you feel about that?” I asked.
Say you’re considering it. Say we can start over. Say I don’t have to decide between a happy future and assuaging my guilt.