Nicole just wished she could have focused better during Rachel’s visit…particularly on sorting out her thoughts about Jordan. The time had given her distance and a small measure of perspective but no great wisdom. Too often she’d found herself daydreaming about the hours on his boat, watching as he handled the sails, his muscles flexing beneath tanned skin. He’d been relaxed that day, the calm on his face making her think of how he must have looked on the beach in Fiji.
But it would be a mistake to think Jordan was just a relaxed sailor. He seemed to care intensely about a great many things. He also worked hard on his columns and from what he’d said, usually had them written weeks in advance. So she didn’t know what he’d been catching up on.
Perhaps he had remembered she’d been going into the office early to keep up with her work at the agency and had backed off to help out. On the other hand, maybe he just needed distance from her in order to come up with more questions and ways to be annoying.
Of course, he might be looking for a new challenge, either personal or professional. He was hardly the type to be content with sitting on his laurels. Success had come to him early and he wouldn’t want to write an opinion column for the rest of his life without ever trying something new. While he hadn’t wanted to write the PostModern articles, now he was fully engaged and he wasn’t a man to do anything halfway. Considering the night they’d spent together, she could vouch for his determination. He was a generous lover and had made certain they were both thoroughly satisfied.
Nicole breathed carefully. Sex with Jordan wasn’t something she should think about. It would be easier if it had just been about physical pleasure, but more was involved. She didn’t discount the power of biology—there were few things more explosive—yet she was convinced it wasn’t sex, or the lack of it, that left a person aching the most. Instead, it was the near misses on genuine love that haunted someone’s soul.
The problem with love was the lack of power. You couldn’t make someone love you, and you couldn’t make yourself stop loving someone who didn’t return your feelings. The result was heartache and endless regrets.
“Shut up,” she ordered her brain.
She shouldn’t be losing sleep over an impossible situation; after all, she was at the beginning of the adventure that she and her friends had been planning for over two years. They were building something solid, something which would allow them to take on new challenges.
When she got home, Nicole went inside to try a new recipe. But she only ate a small amount and stuck the leftovers in the refrigerator. Her appetite had also suffered during the past week.
The phone rang shortly before nine and the caller ID showed it was Jordan.
“Good evening,” he said. “What are your plans for tomorrow afternoon?”
She drew a deep breath. “I have stuff to do in the yard that I’ve been putting off.”
“No yard service?”
“I want to take care of this section of the garden myself.”
“Mind if I come over and lend a hand? We could talk while working.”
“More interview questions, I suppose.”
“Right. If tomorrow isn’t good, I’m happy to wait.”
His voice was casually friendly, with no hint of anything except professional courtesy.
“Tomorrow afternoon is fine,” Nicole answered, resigned. After all, she couldn’t refuse to finish the interviews; she was a business professional, not a histrionic teenager. She’d just have to suck it up and do her job.
* * *
JORDAN DISCONNECTED, PLEASED that Nicole had agreed. He’d never done yard work. When he’d been a kid, his mother had insisted upon having a yard service, and he’d lived in apartments or condos once he was on his own. But how complicated could it be? Moreover, gardening seemed to fit what he’d learned about Nicole. She wanted to grow flowers, not have it done for her. She also wanted to earn a living and help people succeed along the way. Meeting a challenge was part of it, along with being able to do something that used her abilities, not just her appearance.
Resignation went through him. He had definitely surrendered his suspicions about Nicole’s motives.