Page 10 of Putting the SeX in Xmas

“Like Christmas dinner? In two weeks? If neither you nor I had anything else to do, maybe. Although I’ve never roasted a goose. But we both have to work. And Christmas shop. And decorate and make those damned crackers.” Tara started to take another bite but stopped with her fork in midair. “Wait a minute. How can we make them if you’re at Andrew’s?” She shook her head. “You can’t do it. If we’re going to work together, you need to stay here. It’s time for you to start shopping for stuff to make those party favours.” She shook her head again. “Sorry, babe, but even if he asks, you can’t move in with Andrew until after our big production.”

* * * *

Kati didn’t want to believe Tara was right. However, it was true. They had a lot to do, and Kati couldn’t manage it all alone.

Does anyone know how to cook a Christmas goose? Someone must. But recipes could wait. Fun things first. Surfing the net, Kati found directions for making British crackers.

“Fourteen steps!” she wailed, gaping at the PC screen. Why did it have to be so hard? She’d thought this would be the neat part.

She needed eleven craft items, goodies to put inside, plus a glue gun to put the thing together. And toilet tissue tubes. How was she going to collect enough to decorate Andrew’s house? Hang out in a public restroom or unroll a mountain of toilet tissue and rescue the cores? She could make just two crackers, one for him and one for her, but what sort of statement would that make? She wanted spectacular, not piddley.

And then there was the disclaimer at the bottom of the screen. ‘Some practice is required to make a consistently well-wrapped and nicely formed cracker.’

Kati laid her head on her folded arms next to her computer. She couldn’t wrap a flat box neatly, let alone a round, cardboard core.

Andrew’s Gram made her own! She must have started the day after Christmas to finish them in time for the next year. There had to be another way…

Yeah. On another site, Kati found the finished products. Already made and exquisitely decorated. Wait. Damn. The prizes were already inside. And she wanted to stuff them herself. Andrew wouldn’t be turned on by plastic whistles and rub-on tattoos. She wanted to fill them with raunchy items they could use for sexual pleasure.

Kati did another search and Bingo! ‘Fill Your Own Crackers. Fully-assembled, filled with the paper crown and motto only -- you add the gift. For people who don’t have time to make their own.’

That was her. And this ad was much more encouraging. ‘The filling process is easy and yields a perfect finished product.’

So excited her fingers shook on the keys, she placed an order for a box of six with red and green star wrapping and another with silver stars. Would twelve crackers make a statement? Better get two boxes of each. Now, all she’d have to do would be to add the gifts. Fifty-two dollars plus… Damn the postage. She would have to pay for Fed Ex delivery. Time was of the essence.

Now…suggestive gifts small enough to put inside the crackers was a challenge. Condoms were an obvious one. However, the quickie male lubricant that was compatible with latex took research. She grew horny just looking at the pictures and reading the descriptions of the items at KinkU.com. Nipple clips? Kati smiled at the invitation to try new things. Oral flavoured gel? Climax enhancer? C-rings? Wow! After Christmas, she and Andrew would have a blast. She e-mailed a rush order.

She looked at her watch. She’d missed lunch, and it was mid-afternoon. It was a good thing Andrew was spending the evening with his dad.

Okay, so the meal was the next thing to plan. Tara had said not to do everything the hard way. Concentrate on the star items of the menu. Main course and dessert.

Fixing a goose sounded fairly easy. Removing the innards from the cavity would be the worst part. Hopefully, she could do it without puking. Soaking the goose in a brine mixture in the refrigerator overnight wasn’t a problem, except she didn’t have a pot big enough. Maybe Tara did. As Kati read about pricking the skin with a large needle so the fat could drain off as it baked, she pictured herself placing a golden, crispy-skinned goose in front of Andrew.

Preparing Christmas Pudding was something else. Rubbing tired eyes, she continued to read. There were so many ingredients, it would take her forever to shop. They sounded similar to what she supposed went into a fruit cake. She hoped it would be tastier. And she’d never have guessed a pudding could be boiled. It was deemed an important part of a Brit’s Christmas dinner, so she supposed it would be worth the trouble. The best part of the recipe was the brandy, and one could even top it with brandy butter. They could taste one another’s lips after eating it and then…

It was 6:00, and Kati’s butt ached from sitting all day, but she had everything planned. Now, Tara couldn’t forbid her to move in with Andrew if he asked. She’d pick up some mistletoe, and they’d buy a tree and get ready for their first Christmas together.

* * * *

Andrew was sitting at the desk in his office, tallying up his inventory of pharmaceuticals, when he heard a rap on the locked door. He wasn’t open for business but, when he saw Bob, he hurried to let him in.

“Since when do you work on Saturday?” Bob took a chair on the other side of the desk. Without waiting for an answer, he went on. “How was the home-cooked meal?”

“Good enough that I stayed overnight if that’s what you want to know. And before you ask, that was excellent.”

“So when are you two moving in together?” Bob asked, a Cheshire cat smile on his face. “You know that’s the next step, don’t you?”

“I know nothing of the kind. Since when are you an expert on courtship? Married for three years, divorced for five. I’d say that’s poor credentials.”

“I’m trying to learn from my mistakes. A woman I cared deeply about wanted to cohabitate. I proposed marriage and suggested we live apart until after the ceremony. She said marriage is an antiquated custom. I guess I’m a fuddy-duddy, but I held out, and she walked away.”

Andrew tipped back in his office chair. “Living together would be a great way to get to know one another better. A good test for marrying, after a couple of years, maybe.

“I asked her to spend the night with me tomorrow.” He smiled, feeling somewhat sheepish. “I was feeling mellow after a hot fuck at night and waking up to another in the morning. I could get used to that. Maybe I should see how she feels about it. We have exciting sex. And unlike most women, she hasn’t said ‘I love you’. It’s an awkward moment when they blurt that out, especially when you’re in the middle of a fantastic screw.”

“Is that all you have together, Andrew? If you don’t enjoy one another’s company outside of bed, you’ll end up in divorce court.”

“I didn’t say that was all. Kati and I do have a lot of good times together.” That was the truth, but Andrew didn’t consider ordinary stuff the kind of thing Bob or any other guy wanted to hear about. He leant forward. “So how’s your love life now, Bob? Have you gotten over the heartbreak?”

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