Page 64 of Love after Marriage

Deepak was surprised. He looked at her with a questioning expression.

Roshni shrugged her shoulders. “You believe in ‘love marriage’, whereas I believe in ‘love after marriage’. So I had entered this relationship with one hundred percent commitment and trust. The day you told me of your opinions, I knew this relationship would not be successful, and hence it was a wise decision to separate.”

“What do you mean?”

“Your hesitation to accept me as your life partner that night was because you had preconceived notions regarding marriage and your life partner. I believe, in this case, you will always be unhappy with me because your expectations are very different. On the other hand, I was willing to take everything as a learning experience and grow with it. Given the scenario and circumstances–”

“Do you think people have opportunities to grow and change?”

“Certainly, it all depends on how flexible and accepting one is to adapt.”

“If a life partner has made some mistakes, being stupid and immature, and is willing to change, will the other partner forgive him?” He was right on this time.

Roshni popped open her eyes. She got the hint but remained calm. “As long as there is a sincere apology and a sincere urge to change.” She looked at him.

Deepak watched her very closely and thought to himself, Thank god she believes in this. There is some hope. This topic was too serious, and he had his answer. The challenge now was to make her realize that he was genuinely regretful and wanted to apologize to her sincerely.

He decided to change the topic.

Deepak had noticed a few things about Roshni. Occasionally, she closed her eyes and was lost in thought, and Sashank mentioned that often times she was in her room in front of her babuji’s picture deep in thought, and very often she became unhappy and forlorn.

Deepak had come to India to explore Roshni and to understand her better. He observed her closely this time and saw a deep pain and sorrow in her. Outwardly she smiled, but there was a sadness that was buried in her, and she lived with it. He probably would not have paid any attention to this before, but because he had developed feelings for her, he watched her thoughtfully and was able to see this suffering.

Roshni was not very open to discussing her feelings with anybody; she was a private person. If she continued to bear this internal struggle, she would break down some day, and it was important for her to share her sorrows as much as her happiness.

Deepak was able to discuss his marriage fiasco with Vivek and Vaishali, and they were helping him to get back to Roshni, but Roshni had not discussed this with anybody. She was very close to her father, but now that he’d passed away, she needed an outlet. It was obvious to him that she did not accept him…yet. Then how could he help her?

After a few minutes of silence, he continued, “Roshni, would you mind if I asked you something?”

Roshni nodded.

“Do you want to share anything about Babuji? I called you when he passed away, but you were not ready to talk to me. Do you want to talk about it now? What happened to him?”

He hoped she would talk about it; instead, she closed her eyes and was quiet. Deepak knelt in front of her on the floor and held her hand. “Roshni, you have a lot of sadness in you; I can see that.”

She opened her eyes, with tears flowing down her cheeks. She wiped them with her other hand and never made an attempt to pull her hand away from him. She listened to him.

“You smile and laugh with everybody outwardly, but within…a lot of sorrow is hidden inside. I am concerned for you. Is there anything I can do to help you? I mean it sincerely!”

He asked with a lot of love and concern for her, and he meant this with all sincerity. Roshni looked at him and slowly got up, pulling her hand away from his grip, and walked towards a window. She was unable to control her tears, and she saw Deepak’s concern for her. For the first time other than her babuji, she felt somebody cared for her. She knew he respected her, but this concern…she saw it for the first time.

Deepak followed her to the window and stood diagonally across from her and very lovingly said, “Roshni, it is not good for you to hold onto the pain. You need to let it out. Please don’t mistake me, but…” he pleaded and his concern for her was visible in his eyes.

She looked at him with tears, and involuntarily she hugged him, hugged him tight, and cried. He brought his arms around her, holding her tightly to his chest with his head resting on her head. She wept, and he consoled her.

She talked with her head still buried in his chest. “I miss Babuji. I miss him a lot… He was not only a parent but my friend. I never hesitated to share anything with him.”

As she talked, Deepak pulled her closer and gently rubbed her shoulder with one hand while he held her with the other and listened to her. She could feel his warmth. She needed this; she needed somebody to comfort her, and he provided that warmth. Both of them remained in that embrace.

After a few minutes, she was back to her senses and quickly jerked to move away from him.

Her sudden movement caught him off guard. He asked, “What happened?”

Roshni felt very embarrassed for hugging him. “Deepak. I…I should not have done that. I apologize. What I just did was not right.”

She was very ashamed. Deepak came closer to her, and she moved back, not allowing him to touch her. “Deepak, I…I was weak for a moment. Please…I am sorry. It wasn’t right,” she repeated.

“It’s okay, Roshni. You don’t have to apologize, and it is perfectly fine.”

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