Page 168 of The Most Eligible Bachelor

“You know, I haven’t always been the best,” I confess, the sleep deprivation is making me much too honest. “I haven’t always been good to your Mom, or the two of you, but that’s something that I want to change. I want to be better for you. I don’t ever want to let you down, I don’t ever want to do to you what my dad did to me. I don’t want to leave you.” I flick my eyes between them both, committing their faces to memories all over again. “You both deserve the world, and I really hope I can be the one to give that to you. It’s only been a few weeks now, you’re what, nine weeks old? I’ve been doing my best during that time, and that’s something I want to continue.” I pause for a moment, thinking about Serena and how well she’s taken to being a mother. “Your Mom is the good one, she’s really great with you guys. She just has this natural instinct that means she knows exactly what to do without even trying... I envy her a lot. I wish I could be that good. She just doesn’t even worry. I do all the worrying, she just get things done. She’s fantastic. I’m lucky to have her. We all are, you know? I don’t know what any of us would do without her...”

Oh God, I must be rambling so much that I’m boring the babies. They’ve both gone back to sleep. I place the bottles on the floor and try to steel myself ready to stand. I need to get up, I need to get the babies back in my arms carefully so I don’t wake them again, and I need to get them back in their cribs.

That’s what I need to do, but I just haven’t got the energy, or the heart. They both look just fine where they are. I settle myself into the couch where I intend to wait for just a little bit longer. Just until I can work up the energy. My body has already moulded into the soft cushions, I can already feel the weariness coming for me, claiming me, begging me to rest.

It won’t be long. I just need a minute. I can feel my eyes sliding closed, so I’ll let them do it for just a moment. I just need a second, just a little rest...

***

“Hey, Ben, are you okay?” I feel my body shaking and my eyes rapidly snap open. “Are you alright? What are you doing down here? I woke up and you and the babies weren’t there... I freaked, I really did. You can’t do that to me, it scared me.”

“Oh God.” I push myself up into a sitting positon and try to work out what happened. “I’m so sorry I brought the babies down to feed them and then I must have fallen asleep...”

“It’s okay, I know that now,” Serena laughs warmly. “I just wanted to check that you’re okay, that’s all. You don’t look very comfortable sleeping there on the couch.”

“Are the babies alright?” I can’t immediately see them, which has me panicked. “Where are they? What’s happened? Have I missed something?”

“They’re up, changed, dressed... I’ve sorted them this morning. All good. Now they’re having a bit of floor time. Nothing to worry about.”

“Floor time?” I rub the sleep from my eyes as I try to work out what’s happening. “What’s that?”

“They lie and play on the floor, and eventually start rolling over, look...”

I glance over to where she’s pointing to see my babies playing and enjoying themselves. My heart flies with joy at the sight. They look so content there, thanks to Serena. She really knows what she’s doing, I really did mean that. Without her, I would be a mess.

Without her, I was a mess. We already proved that, I don’t need yet another reminder. Serena is my anchor. I wouldn’t be anything if she wasn’t here. I want to cling onto her and never let her go.

“Oh well thank you for sorting them, I’m sorry about worrying you.”

She sits next to me and pulls my face towards hers for a kiss. Her lips crash into mine in a deep and passionate way, that’s unexpected for this early in the morning, but it feels nice. It’s only a small moment, but I love that it’s just for us. Despite all the madness and chaos that’s happening around us, we’re still managing to find a way to just be us. I really think that it’s going to work between us, I really do. I think we’re going to go the distance.

In fact, I want to make sure of it.

As Serena moves away from me to go into the kitchen to make us breakfast, my mind starts spinning and I begin planning. Maybe not now, because things are so damn crazy and so up in the air, but I am going to make this woman my wife. I want us all to be a family that is solidified in the most traditional way possible. It’s something I never thought I would want, but now the idea is everything to me. The thought of walking up the aisle with Serena is everything to me. She in a white dress, me in a suit, our babies there, my mother, maybe even her parents if they deem a wedding a reason to visit, unlike our babies. Ethan too, Serena’s brother. He will definitely be there. Jenny and Tia too. Everyone that has been there along the way with our love story, everyone who has supported and helped us, all of them should be there as we say I do.

I hate to admit that Mom was right about that one, but my God was she right. She could see it before me, she knew that Serena was the one for me. My life would be so much more straight forward if I just listened to her from the start. She is so going to say I told you so.

Chapter Twenty Eight – Serena

This is lovely, isn’t it?” I breathe a sigh of relief once both the kids are sleeping. “It’s so rare that they’re both asleep at the same time. I mean, it’s better than it was in the beginning, but rare... ooh.” Ben immediately starts running kisses up and down my neck which sends a shiver racing up and down my spine. It’s a delicious sensation that comes from nowhere. “You’re being very loving today, what’s going on with you?”

He has as well, he’s been much more touchy feeling ever since I woke him up this morning on the couch. It’s almost as if something has shifted in his mind and I don’t know what it is. I want to ask him, but his mouth is too busy being all over me.

“I sure am, but how can I not be loving when I have you.”

I turn my body towards him and curl up into him so he can kiss me hard. His lips feel incredible up against mine and they make me gasp. I know I said to Jenny that I wouldn’t ever have sex again after the horror of giving birth, but that’s all been long forgotten now. Now with Ben running his hands up and down my curves I want him again desperately.

“Oh God, that feels good,” I groan. “So fucking good.”

Ben pushes me back, he lies me down on the couch and kisses me all over my face and neck. Each time his lips brush against me the sensations of excitement intensify within me. I throw my hands above my head and close my eyes. His hands reach down and slowly unbuttons my flannel pyjama top. It isn’t the sexiest item that I’ve ever worn, but Ben is pawing at it like it is. I don’t have a bra on underneath, so his hand cups my breast in an instant which makes Ben’s breathing become much more intense and ragged.

“Oh God, Serena, you feel so good. I can’t even describe it. You’re amazing.”

Despite the fact that we have children now and everything is really different, it still kinda feels like our first time together. The way he grasps at me needily, like it’s the very first time he’s ever grasped hold of me. I love it, I love the way this makes me feel.

Then his mouth moves over one of my nipples and my back arches against him. He teases by rolling and teasing and tugging with his teeth. It’s an odd painful sensation that somehow manages to be incredibly pleasurable. He’s on fire, and he’s lighting my body up like a damn Christmas tree as he does. I fire on every cylinder, my excitement level growing.

“Oh, Ben.” I run my fingers through his hair, fixing him in place, and he continues to run his tongue all over me. “You’re killing me right now.”

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