Page 134 of Unprepared Daddy

She nods and pales while taking a sip of the beer. “Okay, well I met Stephen on the cruise, like I said. He started to talk to me in the day and invited me to see him play at the night.” I smile to myself, smooth as always. Stephen was always so much better with the ladies than me. I guess it did piss me off when we were younger. Especially since the beautiful women like Tia are just the sort I would like. “I went to watch him play and we… hung out afterwards.”

“You don’t need to explain.” I let out an awkward chuckle. “I know my brother.” Knew I knew my brother. I need to remember that he’s past tense now.

“Yes.” Her cheeks flame red which makes me feel bad. Maybe I shouldn’t have said that. Maybe it’s colored her memory which wasn’t my intention at all. “So, we hung out, and then he said he was going for a cigarette.” She reaches into her bag and pulls something out of her purse. “He gave me his pick and said it was a promise that he was coming back.”

My eyes find the instrument in her fingers and my heart skips a beat. That’s the pick that my brother has had his whole musical life. That was important to him, more than anything else. Probably even more than his family. The fact that he gave it to Tia means something.

I lean forward and take it from her. I flick it idly between my fingers as my heart pounds. “If Stephen gave this to you then he meant to come back,” I rasp nervously. “I know for a fact that he would never leave this behind anywhere.” I stare in her eyes, needing to be honest now. I can’t worry about her opinion of Stephen anymore. “I know for a fact that he slept with a lot of women just the one time, that was a part of his thing, but the fact that he gave you this means he was coming back. He wanted to see you more.” I bite down on my bottom lip as a realization hits me. “I think it means he liked you. Really liked you a lot.”

“Oh.” She doesn’t know what to say, I can see it in her eyes. “Right.”

I stand up and pace up and down. “He gave you this, he wanted to come back.” I repeat. “But he didn’t. Then when you consider the text.” My brain is spinning fast, I’m trying to process everything quickly. “Something happened.” I stare at Tia. “Something happened that night which is why he didn’t return.” My heart beats in my mouth. “He saw something, something that scared him away from you and made him text me.” I gulp as I try to work out how it’s all connected. I haven’t had so may clues before, now I have them but I don’t know how to fit them together. “What was the cruise like? Were there dangerous people aboard?” I stare at her, maybe she’s the key. “Do you have any dangerous exes that would want to keep a new man away from you?”

She looks understandably overwhelmed by my accusation. “No, I… the cruise was nice. Full of posh people. You really think he saw something aboard that got him killed some time later?”

“It’s possible, isn’t it?” She doesn’t have an answer to that. “I can’t imagine Stephen ever directly getting himself involved in a dangerous world, but it might have happened by accident.”

“I don’t know what to say,” Tia whispers thickly. “I suppose it is possible.”

Without even thinking about it, I stomp across the room and I grab my own guitar. I strum it with Stephen’s pick trying to rise his spirit once more. I haven’t felt close to him since he died and I miss him like crazy.

“You’re very good,” Tia eventually interjects, reminding me that she’s in the room. “Very talented. The way that you play reminds me of him a bit.”

“He’s much more rock than me.” I shake my head. “He was much more rock than me.”

“I only heard him play softer songs, but I suppose that’s because it wasn’t exactly a rock and roll venue.” She smiles a little to herself. “He was really good.”

I stare at Tia, drinking her in. There was something about her that attracted my twin brother enough to really like her. He liked her enough to hand over his beloved pick. I want to spend more time with her, I want to get to know her better, I want that connection with Stephen to continue.

“So, are you on holiday in Wellington?” I ask, trying to sound causal. I feel awkward and weird, like I’m being a creeper.

“No, I live here now,” she replies calmly. “I came here to escape everything. And I guess to feel close to Stephen too.”

Hmm, he had an impact on her just like she did him. This is something that I need to find out more about. “Would you like to hang out some more?” I ask.

She nods slowly. “Yes, I think I would. That won’t be weird, will it?”

Probably, I think.

“No, I don’t think so,” I say aloud. “It’ll be good. For the both of us. I think.”

“Good, yes.” We’re both as unsure as one another, but I’m still certain this is the right thing to do. “Let’s do it.” She takes my phone from me once more and enters in her number. “You should call me sometime. Let’s do this.”

Chapter Fourteen - Tia

Is this wrong? Should I be doing this? Am I utterly crazy?

As I stare at the phone screen looking at Kian’s message, I feel really weird about it. Every time we aren’t together I feel like we shouldn’t hang out anymore, I feel pretty sure it’s overstepping some invisible boundary, yet I still can’t stop being drawn to him. I can’t ignore the pull that draws me in every single time. I also can’t ignore the good feeling I get in my chest every time I’m by his side. I feel like I’m a much better person and that the possibilities are endless…

“Is that your secret lover?” Ashley teases as she sees me staring at my phone. “Are you ever going to tell me who it is? I’m sick of trying to guess!”

I want to, I’ve wan

ted to from the very beginning, but I haven’t. Partly because it’s been a delicious little secret just for me, a little link to my old life in my new life, but also because I do feel guilty about it. I feel so bad that I might just burst… but I don’t know how much longer I can keep it in for. I need some advice from an impartial person, and there’s only one person in the country I trust enough to tell. I need to just rip off the band aid and do it.

I lean forward and look from side to side, checking that no one is listening. When it appears that we are actually alone in the office, which is a big rarity meaning the timing must be right, I start whispering.

“It isn’t a lover, it’s something more complex than that.” Her eyes light up and she leans in too. I suppose it’s good for her for someone else to have gossip to share, especially me. I suppose I’ve been quite boring up until now. “It’s…” I bite down on my bottom lip and glance downwards. “Well, you remember the story about Stephen?”

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