Page 13 of Light Up My Life (Forbidden Heat 3)

I punched her playfully in the arm. “You always have your head in the gutter, don’t you?”

“Damn straight,” she said. “But seriously, you should call him. Let him take you to dinner. It’s not like you have to go out with him long term and get married. It’s just food. And hopefully, good conversation.”

I shook my head. “I’ll think about it. I gotta run.”

“Ok. Hey, thanks for filling in.”

“Sure. It was a blast.”

I drove home feeling a bit more optimistic about things in general. It had felt great being active and getting out there on the softball field again. I’d actually found a way to forget about my problems for a bit and just have some fun.

As I drove, I found my thoughts drifting to Lance. That was definitely a name I was going to do some research on. Susie knew everybody. She was just one of those people. I felt strange for not knowing who this man was, but after the way he spoke with me I was very intrigued.

And I loved to watch him playing ball as well. He was so strong and athletic. The way he moved across the field was like watching a Greek God in uniform, I bet he was chiseled. I knew I was attracted to him right away. He was sexy, and there was a certain level of charm to him that was impossible to resist.

That might have been the reason why I was so leery to open up in front of him. And on top of that, I just didn’t want to have a relationship to maintenance in my life at the moment. I had some work to do on myself first. I really just wanted to take the time and get the rest of my life sorted out.

I arrived home, took a shower, and then curled up in bed with a movie.

T

he next morning, I woke up early and I knew immediately what I wanted to do. Last night had lit a fire under my ass and it all became clear what I needed to start doing to get my life back in order. I’d let go of far too many things that used to be important to me. It seemed that when my parents died, a big part of me died right along with them. And now it was time to reawaken some things within myself.

I stopped at Kai’s Kickboxing Academy where I used to train. It was something I had started doing when I was just fifteen. I’d had a bit of trouble fitting into a new school when my parents decided to move to a different house in a new school district. And for whatever reason, some of the less pleasant members of the student body decided that I was to blame for whatever crap they were going through in their lives. From day one, I was a punching bag three to four days a week.

Soon after I started showing bruises on a regular basis, my mom enrolled me in kickboxing. Within a few months I’d gotten good enough that I was able to defend myself in school. After I won a few scuffles, my bullies left me for easier prey.

I loved kickboxing. It allowed me to center myself through the movement making me feel better emotionally and physically. Through it, I grew strong and developed self-confidence.

When my parents died, I just let it go. I didn’t have the energy. But now, it was time to start reclaiming a good bit of who I used to be.

When I walked through the doors, it felt like I’d never left. It still smelled the same. The walls were lined with heavy bags. I could feel the energy, the sweat, and the growth happening all around me even though it was almost empty this time of day.

I couldn’t help smiling. My heart soared and I had the most intense feelings of happiness and excitement coursing through my veins. Why did I ever stop this?

Then the tears began to come. I quickly wiped my eyes and tried to gain control of myself. I had cried a lot in this gym, working through pain, sweat, bloody bruises and scabs, ultimately the pain of growth and salvation. I knew that this was something that had saved me once and it had to save me again.

“I don’t believe it!”

I recognized the voice immediately. It was Jodie, my old friend and mentor. She ran up to me and gave me a big hug. It felt good to be in her embrace once again. It had been a long time. I just wanted to stay there forever and never go back to the real world, to the life that I felt like running away from most of the time. But standing there, I was reminded that running away was not the answer. No… in fact running away was the exact wrong thing. I had to face my problems once and for all.

“Jodie, how are you?” I asked her after we ended the embrace.

“I’m fine. We’ve all missed you,” she said.

Jodie was about five years older than me. She’d taken me under her wing and been kind of a big sister to me when I first started there. She’d been through a lot of the same bullying issues that I was dealing with, and I felt that I could really relate to her.

And now, standing there I felt that again.

“Thanks. I’ve missed being here,” I said. “I’m not sure why it took me so long to come back.”

“Well, you’re here now. That’s all that matters.”

There was a long pause and I knew what she was about to say was heavy. “Hey, I was so sorry to hear about your folks. I tried to reach out to you.”

“Yeah, for a long time I didn’t want to talk to anyone. I felt like it was my fault. I fell in this dark hole that just kept getting darker. But I’m ready to put all that behind me and get back to work.”

“You want to hit the bags? See if you still remember some of the old moves?” she asked me.

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