Page 61 of Burning with Desire (Forbidden Heat 1)

“I’m glad you did. I don’t think Ricky would have.”

“You’re probably right, and this is the reason. He knew you would freak out over this. Julie, you need to relax and stay put. You stay in school and continue to rise above. Don’t let them get you down. I know you are tougher than this.”

“I appreciate it,” I said. “But my mind is made up. School isn’t for me. I need to be home with Ricky. I… I’m leaving. I’ll see you all soon.”

I ended the call and ran to my dorm room where I immediately began packing all of my things. This was the right thing to do. I was wasting my time at school. I was learning nothing. I felt like I was basically being abused by those moronic professors and the other students. Ricky had been right all along. You can’t go to school to learn to be an artist. I was an artist. I didn’t need an institution to tell me that I was.

I was going to get my work out there on my own terms and build a fan base the right way without anyone else’s interference. It was time for me to go home. I found a flight leaving a few hours from then. I booked the flight and I scheduled an Uber to take me to the airport. I was ready to go home.

I kept thinking about Ricky and how much pain I’d caused him. He’d almost been killed because of it. I felt so guilty. Why had I treated him that way? The things I’d said and the way I went about it was totally wrong. It was wrong. I was wrong. And now I had to set things right.

I said goodbye to Angie. I knew that she would miss me. She was about the only thing that I was going to miss about this place. I thought about all the stress I’d dealt with over the past month at school. I had professors breathing down my throat every single second about something. And no matter what I did, it was considered dog shit. They were awful. I wondered if I could go to the board about them and complain. I doubted it. The board was probably full of snooty, artsy types just like them. I’d never realized it before, but so many artists were stuck up psychos who only wanted to talk about themselves and how amazing they were.

I was glad to be leaving. The moment I sat down in the Uber and headed to the airport, I felt a weight falling off my shoulders. I already felt better getting out of there. I was going home. I couldn’t wait to see Ricky and Zoe. I had let them down. That’s how I felt. But at the same time I was still proud of myself for sticking to my guns and doing something that was important to me. And I was proud of myself now for leaving of my own free will because this was not what I wanted either. I was a lot better than this. I had a life I wanted to be in control of. I had real dreams to follow.

I arrived at the airport, checked my luggage, passed through security, and then headed to my gate to wait for my flight. I wanted to call Ricky and tell him I was coming home, but I thought I’d surprise him instead. He’d been so great through all of this. The last month had been rough on us, but I knew that our love would make it through. We would get back stronger than we’d ever been before.

I hoped that Ricky didn’t expect an apology though. That was the one thing I was not prepared to do. After our fight in the park that day, we didn’t speak to each other for a few days. Then I arrived at work and we cordially patched things up. Ricky had said he would accept my decision and I could see he meant it, but from what I’d seen since then it would appear that he only half meant it. Whenever I would talk about school and how excited I was, he would smile weakly and quickly change the subject. It had become apparent that he was really

just going through the motions and pretending to support this decision.

I was glad I’d made this decision to go to school. I fully intended to focus on my career goals and I would let nothing or no one stand in my way. Ricky had to understand that, or else things between us would stay strained.

As I boarded the plane, I took one last look at New York and said goodbye. I was on my way.

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Ricky

It was Saturday and I had been promising to take Zoe to the park all week. She was chomping at the bit to go, so we finally decided to take off to the park. The day was beautiful. The sun was shining. Everywhere people were happily playing ball with each other, riding bikes, walking their dogs, catching some sun, and even doing some jogging. It was an atmosphere that always put a smile on my face. And right now I needed something happy in my life.

I’d expected to hear from Julie the night before, but she didn’t call. I guessed she was busy with school stuff, as usual. I could understand that. I wasn’t too bummed out by it. The conversation with Becky had really helped put things into perspective and I realized that I needed to fix what was wrong with me. I couldn’t wait for Julie to do it. I’d started doing some soul searching and I was even thinking about going to see a therapist about some of my long term issues. Maybe some grief counseling would help me get over things.

But for right now I was just trying not to be so hard on myself. I was allowed to feel what I needed to feel without being ashamed. I realized that I had been using my relationship with Julie as a distraction from my real feelings. It was a way to cloud over the pain and just focus on the good things in my life. When that was slightly altered, the pain came back. I guess it never had really gone away. I had to concentrate on that now. I had to do it for me, for Zoe, and for Julie.

I grabbed the Frisbee and gave it a toss towards Zoe. She caught it in the air and slung it right back to me. She was good and still in love with this game. “Dad, you should throw it like a discus,” Zoe said. “That’s the way that Stephanie does it.”

“I’m not sure I can manage that,” I laughed. “I wasn’t aware that Stephanie played Frisbee.”

“Yeah, she does. She is pretty good.”

“Is she better than me?” I asked.

“Yes,” Zoe laughed.

“Why didn’t you invite her to play with us?” I asked.

“I don’t know. It’s our day,” Zoe replied.

I smiled and threw the Frisbee back at her. We played this for a while. Each time Zoe tried to throw the Frisbee in a way that I wouldn’t be able to catch it. She was getting very good. I often forgot that my little girl was growing up and she was turning out to be a fairly good little athlete. She’d been talking about doing soccer and softball. I wasn’t sure I would have time to fit both of those in my schedule to be able to take her to the games or even see those games if there was a way, but I was going to try. Whatever she wanted in this world, I was going to try to do for her. She deserved it all. She was such an amazing young lady.

After we played Frisbee, I watched her ride the swing set for a bit. After that we decided it was time to get some ice cream. There was a guy riding a bike around with ice cream bars for sale. He was there almost every time that we’d been there and he was always swarmed by people. He had to have a booming business.

Zoe and I both got some ice cream sandwiches. They were the best. We sat down on a bench to eat. “So, how is school going, sweetie?” I asked Zoe. “We don’t get a chance to talk that much anymore.”

“It’s ok. Tommy Jenkins keeps being mean to me,” she said. “He pulls my hair and throws rocks at me during recess.”

“Did you tell your teacher?” I asked.

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