Page 18 of A Secure Marriage

He didn't even look uncomfortable, she noted bitterly, and she punched her message home, 'Had I been the only person concerned I would have told him to go to hell before I gave him a penny. I've no doubt at all that he could have got the whole pack of lies into some grotty scandal sheet, and it wouldn't have done my career much good, but I would have survived. But your father wouldn't. He's old and he's sick, and that type of publicity would finish him.

He couldn't take it, and why should he, if I can prevent it? He's always been good to me and he showed me more affection—more understanding, I should say—than you or your mother ever did.'

She reached for her black alligator-skin handbag, fitting the fine shoestring strap over her arm. 'I'm paying up because I owe it to your father, because he was the only person who cared a rap for me after my parents died. And for no other reason.'

'And you married Jude to get your hands on the wherewithal? I thought the whole thing was a bit sudden.'

Luke got to his feet as she made for the door and she told him icily, barely turning her smooth, silvery head, 'I married Jude because 1 love him.' And it was the truth. She had been falling in love with Jude for a long time, but love was an emotion she had learned to live without. When it had happened it had taken her a long time to recognise it. But that was no business of Luke's.

'So you'll get in touch with Fenton?' Luke was just behind her as she reached the door, and he sneered, 'If it weren't for the trouble that kind of publicity could give Slade Securities I'd happily pay Fenton to spread the dirt.'

'You'd what?' Cleo went cold. 'I don't believe I'm hearing this!'

'You heard,' he drawled, his mouth curling. Cleo knew he'd always resented her, but she hadn't realised that over the years the resentment had deepened to hate.

'Why?'

There was enough pious fuss from my father when he'd had his attention drawn to that relatively harmless piece about me,' he said bitterly. 'It was even said that it caused his latest heart-attack. So I'd like him to know ' that Wonder Girl isn't as perfect as he thought she was. It might just put your nose out of joint. He's always holding you up as an example.'

Cleo's mouth went dry as she stared at the cousin she had thought she knew, realising that she didn't know him at all. His cloak of pompous indifference had hidden his hatred. She half turned, her disgust and anger burning her up, and grated, 'You'd want that, even though you know what it would do to your father? He damn near died when he read about the brawl you got yourself involved in. You can't think anything of him at all—you selfish bastard!'

The feeling of rage and disgust kept her going, but even that evaporated completely as she stood in a call box after contacting her bank, phoning Robert Fenton. She felt slightly sick and trembly as she slid into her seat at the table Jude had reserved for them at Glades.

'You're looking tired,' he said after he'd handed back the menus and given their order. Concern clouded the vivid blue of his eyes. 'Bad morning shopping? Or did your visit with Luke upset you for some reason?'

It had been a bad morning, and how, but she couldn't tell him why so she shrugged, putting on a smile, 'So- so,' then, wondering, 'How did you know I'd gone to see Luke?'

'I telephoned home. Meg told me Thornwood had driven you to Eastcheap.

A simple deduction.' He looked amused and he leant his elbows on the small linen- covered table-top, trailing the fingers of one hand softly down the curve of her cheek. 'Pretty—pretty and soft,' he murmured, and her heart lurched over with love for him. And as the feathering caress moved over her mouth she parted her lips, closing them over his fingertip, nipping gently, then drew back, her face hot. Never in a million years would she have imagined herself and the chief executive of Mescal Slade making such a public display of themselves!

'Why did you try to reach me?' she asked then, creditably cool, trying to get things back on a more manageable level because if she didn't, and he kept eating her with his eyes, then she would certainly end up making an even more public display of her love for him! She needed him, needed his tenderness, after the battering she'd taken this morning.

And Jude removed his elbows from the table, leaning back as their first course arrived.

'No particular reason. I just needed to hear your voice.' And that made her feel good, so very good, and it melted away some of the distaste which had been produced by this morning's conversation with Luke.

Then, without knowing why, because she and Jude never talked about the circumstances of their marriage, she asked lightly, toying with a forkful of chicken in a light wine sauce, 'Why did you agree to marry me, Jude?'

'Because, as you pointed out, I would always be in the happy position of knowing you hadn't married me for my money. Call me a cynic if you like, but I've never been able to distinguish between people who liked me for what I am and those who just like the smell of wealth.'

It was a flippant reply but it told her he was probably as far away from loving her as he had been when she'd proposed. And that was daunting, but she wasn't going to let it worry her too much. And at least he'd had the sensitivity not to mention the shares, because although they had probably been his first consideration when agreeing to marry her, she didn't want to hear him say as much. It would put what they did have together down on the level of a purely commercial agreement.

She didn't know why she had asked that question, and she didn't know what she'd expected him to say. She hadn't really hoped he would tell her he'd suddenly realised, over that weekend he'd taken to think it over, that he was madly in love with her, had she?

Of course she hadn't. She didn't believe in miracles, and she knew that if he were ever to grow to love her then the process would take time. So why was she now feeling so empty inside?

And he smiled at her lazily, as if they'd been discussing nothing more important than the state of the weather, and lifted the bottle the waiter had left in the cooler at the side of the table. 'Let me give you some wine. I think you'll like it.'

And she smiled, just slightly, because suddenly smiling was difficult. 'Thank you.' She knew that, for him, although their marriage of convenience was working out well so far, it would remain just that, a marriage of convenience, for some long time to come.

Lifting her eyes to him over the rim of her glass, she smiled again, put more into it this time, making herself sparkle. After all, she was a fighter, a stayer, and one day she'd damn well make him fall in love with her!

Because, if he didn't, her life might well become unbearable.

CHAPTER SIX

'So I suppose you'll be buying up Harrods this afternoon, as you spent the morning with Luke?' Jude queried as he escorted her from the restaurant, his hand under her elbow, making her feel safe and protected.

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