Page 73 of Beneath the Stands (Sugarlake 2)

Sarah chokes in a breath from beside me, her arm tugging on the back of my shirt. I follow her gaze. Pops is standing in the doorway—if you can call being held up around the waist “standing.” There’s a sheen of sweat on his brow and his clothes are rumpled and skewed, his head lolling on Chase’s shoulder.

They move toward the recliner and Chase plops him down. Pops hunches over, mumbling with his eyes closed.

My chest pinches so hard it hurts to breathe.

“What happened?” I manage to rasp.

Lee laughs. “What do you think happened, Eli? The same thing that always happens. If Daddy doesn’t have a babysitter, he gets behind the wheel, drunk as a skunk, and ends up at his favorite bar. Only his favorite bar has banned him ‘cause he always causes a scene.”

She’s talking to me like

I’m supposed to be the babysitter, but how the hell was I supposed to know he was banned when she never said a word about it? I’m not a mind reader. “Lee, I didn’t know…”

“I’ve told you a thousand times!” she screams, throwing her arms in the air. “Begged you a hundred more. You don’t listen, Eli. You don’t wanna hear it.”

My stomach sinks like a cement block, my eyes bouncing between Lee and Pops. Heat infuses my cheeks at the thought of Pops pulling a fast one on me.

Am I that blind?

He told me he was going out with friends. Sure, he’s been drinking, but he hasn’t been belligerent. He hasn’t seemed like he’s needed anyone to babysit him.

Pops isn’t that man. He never has been. But maybe I’ve been too lost in my own shit to pay attention. I glance at him again, taking in his features.

I swallow, peeling my dry tongue from the roof of my mouth. “I didn’t think it was this bad,” I whisper. “Pops said he was meeting up with his buddies. He said you just like to hover, like to control things ever since Ma die—since Ma’s been gone.”

I can’t come to terms with the fact this man before me is the same one I’ve known all my life. The same one I’ve looked up to, admired, feared. How am I supposed to correlate the two? I’ve had years of being trained into thinking Pops’s word is law, how can I flip that off like a switch?

If he tells me he’s fine, then he’s fine.

That’s how it’s always been.

But this—this doesn’t seem fine.

Lee throws up her hands like she can’t be bothered to try anymore. Like she’s screaming into the void, even though she’s staring at my face. “The only buddies Daddy has are Jim, Jack, and Johnny. Oh, and the cops that picked him up and booked him tonight.”

My heart jolts. “He was arrested?”

Lee’s eyes shimmer with the tears she won’t let fall. “You gotta open your eyes. Daddy ain’t the hero you’ve always seen him as.” She presses her fingers to her cheeks. “I just need a minute.”

She rushes from the room, and I collapse on the couch, Sarah rubbing my back with the palm of her hand. My head throbs, torn between what I want to believe, and what I know deep down is true.

I glance at Chase. His hands are in his pockets, and he’s leaning against the far wall, his jaw locked tight as he stares me down.

Sarah stays quiet but steady in her support, as always.

I rub my temples. “Do you think she’s overreacting a little?”

I don’t know who I’m even asking. I guess I’m just praying for someone to tell me what I’m seeing isn’t real.

Chase springs from his relaxed stance, moving to stand in front of me. “You know, you may not want to hear it, but fuck it.” He shrugs. “Ignoring the problem won’t make it go away, Eli. It won’t make it stop. It’ll just continue to spiral out of control, and then one day… one day, you’ll wake up and wonder what the hell you were thinking. You’ll wonder how you could have been so goddamn blind.”

His voice hitches, and he rests a hand on top of his heart, clenching the fabric of his shirt. “Trust me, when that day comes? The regret will rot you from the fucking inside. Because you’ll know—you’ll know that you didn’t do everything in your power to save them when you had the chance. You didn’t do anything.” He shakes his head. “I hope to God you wake up before then.”

He sighs and storms out of the room, probably chasing after Lee, but his words linger, infusing the air around me.

My eyes jump back to Pops as he snores in his chair, his ghastly frame a whisper of the man who raised me.

My gut swims with unease. But there’s nothing I can do about it tonight.

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