Page 70 of Beneath the Stands (Sugarlake 2)

My gut constricts, and I blow out a breath, moving toward the front door of the shop.

Fuck this.

She doesn’t get to affect me anymore. Not when it’s clear I never affected her.

She looks up just as I pass, her crooked smile dropping off her face. I watch from the corner of my eye as she sucks in a breath, hand flying to her chest, right where her heart would be, if she had one.

Her eyes widen, and as much as it fucking hurts to hold her gaze, I don’t drop my stare. I couldn’t even if I wanted to. Those emerald eyes are a vortex, sucking me in and twisting me up.

It’s what she does to me.

It’s what she’s always done.

“Eli,” she breathes.

My steps stutter, body jerking against the need to pause. I resist the pull, clenching my jaw and brushing by her without a word, treating her like the ghost she chose to be. If I try hard enough, maybe I can convince myself I don’t really see her.

I walk in the store, ignoring the way my insides simmer and jump, ordering a coffee and a bagel. One for me. And one for Sarah.

When I walk back out the door, Becca’s already gone.

But she haunts me, all the same.

34

Becca

Dating app John has turned into a semi-regular thing. He’s a little vanilla in bed, but he curbs the ache, and he’s genuinely a good guy. He’s a lawyer over in Chattanooga, so his hours are long and his time is precious.

He fucks with precision. Straight to the point. No forcing me out of my comfort zone or making me relinquish control. He’s exactly what I need. Sometimes, the late nights turn into mornings, and I’ve found I’m okay with letting him stay. The loneliness dulls just a little when he’s around.

I’m meeting up with him after leaving here—here being Papa’s office at the church. Complete with that big, oak desk. The one currently taunting me from its place in the center of the room. It’s lavish in its grandeur, much like the rest of the office. We’re a small town, but religion is easy to profit from, and when it comes to Sugarlake, Papa’s the number one salesman.

He wasn’t always. Once upon a time, he believed in the words he preached. But real life doesn’t have happy endings. It simply ends. And until it does, we’re all floating aimlessly, trying like hell to find a purpose, hoping we outlast our demons in the game of hide and seek.

My own personal demon is currently staring at me, the memories seeping from the wood of this damn desk.

I hate it here.

The only thing worse than being stuck in here is being stuck and having to talk to my old man about Eli’s marriage to another woman.

Papa’s voice filters through the hallway, his boisterous laugh sending a shockwave of longing through my chest. It’s been a long time since I’ve heard it, and the sound makes me want to jump out of my seat, rush into the hallway, and see what has the ability to break through his persona to draw out the man underneath.

I don’t have to wonder for long, because in he walks, and behind him is the true whore of the town. Sally Sanderson, the youth leader of our church, and the woman who’s been fucking my father for years like she has any right.

Bitch.

God, how dare she still work here. Thirteen years later, and she’s still around, like a cockroach, infesting everything that used to matter.

I wonder if they’re still bumping uglies, or if he’s moved onto younger pastures.

Doesn’t matter. I hate them both.

A scowl lines my face, stomach churning with disgust as I lean back in the chair and wait for them to acknowledge my presence.

They

don’t, too lost in each other to even notice I’m here. Typical.

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