Page 136 of Beneath the Stands (Sugarlake 2)

Papa’s eyes widen slightly as he sits down in the chair, his mouth parted, his gaze breaking away and landing on everything but me.

Momma stands stoic, her spine stiffening with every passing second that no one speaks.

“Well,” I finally snap. “Don’t you have anything to say for yourself? Either of you?”

Papa levels a glare at Momma. “Well, Rebecca, I’m not sure where you’d like me to start.”

“Pick one,” I bite back.

“Alright.” He nods. “It’s true your momma and I moved here after our weddin’... when we were pregnant with you.”

I scoff. “And you didn’t think you could be honest about that?” I raise my arms out to my sides. “Why? Were you so ashamed of me before I was even born that y’all had to hide it?” A pang hits my chest, making the last word come out choked.

“We weren’t ashamed of you, girl. We were tryin’ to make our own way. We planned to get married and move here long before we found out about you. You just sped up the process.”

“What?” I shake my head, his words jumbling up the clear image I’ve formed of what happened. “But, Momma said—”

“I don’t know what you think you heard from me, Rebecca Jean,” Momma cuts in. “But clearly you’re misrememberin’ if you think I didn’t tell you that same thing.”

My jaw drops, nausea sloshing low in my stomach as I take in what she just said. “God Almighty, have you always been this manipulative?”

“Young lady, watch your mouth,” Papa snaps.

I spin back toward him. “Are you tellin’ me it’s not true?”

He leans back in his chair, straightening his tie. “Depends on which part you’re askin’ about.”

Frustration rips at my chest, my teeth grinding so hard my jaw aches. “Quit speakin’ in riddles! For once, just tell me the truth. Treat me like an equal. I deserve to know.” Tears break the dam and overflow, trickling down my face, the salty taste lingering on my dry lips as I wait for an answer I’m not even sure I’ll get.

“We moved here, yes.” Papa rests his elbows on the desk. “We were pregnant with you, yes. We didn’t tell anyone the truth, yes. But I loved—” His voice cracks and he glances at Momma. Her jaw clenches, fingers clutching her pearls like they’re the only thing tethering her to the ground. “I loved your momma. She’s the one who didn’t love me.”

“What?” I gasp. “What are you talkin’ about?” I look toward her. “Momma?”

She straightens, running her hand down the front of her silk blouse. “Honestly, this entire conversation is tirin’. We have a congregation to get ready for. Don, end this nonsense, hmm?”

She moves to walk around me but I step in front of the door before she can reach it. “No, Momma. Were you lyin’ to me?”

“You are so naive,” she hisses. “Of course I wasn’t in love with him. My daddy forced me to marry him. I made a stupid mistake and the repercussions haunt me to this day.”

My heart throbs in my chest, the lacerations from her calling me a mistake as painful as if she reached in and punctured the tissue herself.

“You think I wanted this for my life?” she continues, waving her arm around the room. “To be stuck in this small town, bein’ the wife of a preacher and a mother to a daughter who can’t keep her name outta everyone’s mouth?”

I always knew Momma was unhappy, but I foolishly assumed it was because of Papa’s actions. I never once considered it was because she didn’t want to be here at all. “For years you made me believe Papa was the one who broke your heart. You made me feel sorry for you. Why would you lie about this?”

Disgust creeps through me at all the moments I wasted crying for her when she didn’t deserve a tear.

Her lips curl. “To make sure you left. I know that boy is back. And I just knew you wouldn’t stay away. Knew you’d be the talk of the town once again, and I won’t stand for bein’ the gossip, especially when it comes to you. Do you know how bad it makes me look? Like I can’t even control my own daughter?” Her eyes scan me up and down. “Elliot Carson would do nothin’ but break your heart, or worse, knock you up and trap you forever.”

I shake my head, trying to make sense of things. “No, but, back in Florida… you made me think Papa broke your heart. That he fell out of love with you.”

Momma lifts a shoulder, peering down at me. “I saw the way you two looked at each other in Florida, knew it was a scandal waitin’ to happen. I was honest with what I told you that night. You’d have gotten stuck. Just like I did.”

I stumble back a step, disbelief coloring my insides at the levels Momma has gone to be the mastermind behind my life. This whole time I thought it was Papa pulling the strings, but it’s always been her.

A lone curl comes loose from her bun, falling on her forehead. She stops everything to fix it. Of course she does. Can’t have an imperfection tarnishing her image.

“Lust is one of the seven deadly sins for a reason. I did what I had to do. Besides, you’ve always been so easy to mold with words, Rebecca Jean. It’s one of your biggest flaws.”

---