But I won’t let my heart control my head.

Not again.

Her lower lip trembles and she closes her eyes, blowing out a breath. “I’m not askin’ for anything.”

Her words pack a punch, and I clench my fists to keep from taking her in my arms and telling her I didn’t mean it. That the charred pieces of my heart still beat for her. That we can try to make it work. That I’ll try to forgive and forget.

But I already know what will happen if I do. I’ll lay down in her waves as they break on the shore and drown in her undertow.

“I get that I hurt you and I’m so, so damn sorry for that,” she continues. “But we’re about to be workin’ at the same place. And now that I know what’s goin’ on with your old man, there’s not a chance in hell I’m leavin’ Lee to deal with you and him alone.”

My stomach turns at the reminder of Pops.

“We’re gonna be in each other’s orbit, Eli. There’s no way around it. So, I just want you to know that I’m gonna try.”

“Try what?”

“To be the woman you deserve.” She smiles and turns, walking away without another word.

My heart beats out of my chest, trying to follow.

“What the hell do you mean you’re staying there?”

Connor’s voice is incredulous and I roll my eyes, sipping my water while I lay back on my bed.

“Look, man. Pops is messed up. I gotta stay here and make sure my family is taken care of.”

Connor scoffs. “You’ve never given a shit before.”

Irritation slams into me. Maybe because it’s the truth, or maybe because it isn’t his fucking place to voice it even if it is. “Yeah, well I’m givin’ a shit now.”

“Is that why you broke it off with Sarah? Because of your family?”

I sigh, pinching the bridge of my nose. “No, man. I broke it off with Sarah because we weren’t right for each other. We were ju

st dragging each other down and that’s not something I want to do anymore.”

“Mmhm.” He pauses. “I can’t say I’m surprised.”

“Really?” My hand drops to my side.

“Yeah. I wish you would have talked to me about it. Everything with Sarah, I mean. I’m here for you, ya know?”

Guilt slinks up through my stomach and into my chest. I’ve been a shit friend. Since coming back to Sugarlake I haven’t even thought about Connor, let alone given him a call.

“Sucks you won’t be around, though,” he says. “What am I supposed to do without my wingman?”

I smirk. “Maybe you can take Annie.”

He laughs. “Ah, hell. You were a shit one the past few years, anyway. You weren’t supposed to let me get married to my Monday chick.”

I chuckle. “You know damn well Annie had you by the balls before I ever walked in the room.”

“Yeah.” The line grows silent. “I’ll miss you, man. Won’t be the same down here without you.”

My throat swells and I sit up, grabbing my water bottle to wash down the knot. I’ll miss him too. He’s been the closest thing to a brother I’ve ever had, and part of me worries that the distance will lessen the bond.

We talk for a few more minutes, catching up on things I’ve missed, until Annie calls him away for dinner.