Page 72 of Beneath the Stars (Sugarlake 1)

She gives me an incredulous look. “At ten p.m.?”

“Seems so.”

“Well, hold on a second. I’ll come with you.” She steps back, picking up her dress from the floor.

Panic chokes me. “No, no. You hang out here. I’m not sure how long this will take.”

Her dress hangs limply in her hand. “Are you sure?”

Fuck yes, I’m sure. Having the woman who wants my heart around the reason she’ll never get it? Hard pass.

Her eyes narrow. “Who’s the friend?”

“What’s that?”

“I asked who the friend was that you’re going to help. Someone from work?”

“Oh. No, it’s…” I debate how the fuck to handle this situation. Why is it even a question? I’m not doing anything wrong, and I have no reason to lie. “It’s a friend from when I used to live here. Alina.”

Her eyes spark. “Alina. That’s a pretty name.” She slinks over to me, running her hand down the front of her naked body. Confidence is not something Marissa lacks, and if it were any other time, she’d have my full attention. “Doesn’t she have someone else she can call? Another friend, a boyfriend of her own?”

I shrug, but her words invade my brain. Does she have a boyfriend? God, I’m fucking pathetic. I’m wondering about Goldi while the woman I’m in a relationship with is standing right in front of me. “I don’t know, but I’m not gonna be a dick and ignore her when she needs me.”

Marissa huffs, dropping her hands from where they were teasing her breasts. “Fine. I’ll just be here, waiting for you to get back.”

I feel like an asshole, but not enough to make me stay.

“How long will you be gone?”

“I’m not sure. However long it takes, I guess. Order some food if you get

hungry, I don’t have much here.”

“Okay.” She goes up on her toes and leaves a lingering kiss on my lips.

When I asked if Goldi wanted to go for a drive, I didn’t plan to end up at the lake, but here we are. I have so many things I want to say. But I’m silent because I know it’s not what she needs to hear.

My phone vibrates in my pocket. I ignore it. I’m sure it’s Marissa asking where I am for the tenth time, even though I’ve already told her. I feel like a shit boyfriend for not responding, but when I look at Goldi, it’s hard to care. For the first time tonight, she looks relaxed. Leaned back on her elbows as she stares at the water. I love seeing her like this.

“Do you remember that date you went on with that fucker Reed? He brought you here to the lake.”

A soft smile grows on her face. “Yep. It was a great date.”

I scoff, decades-old jealousy creeping from my memory into my bones. “You mean it was great after the date.”

She laughs. “I see time hasn’t lessened your ego.”

“I was so fucking jealous. The thought of him touching you drove me crazy. It was all I could think about. And when I found out he brought you out here…” I shake my head, chuckling. “I thought I’d go insane with how much I wanted to take his place. He was doing things with you I wanted to do. Things I wouldn’t let myself do.” My voice quiets as I get lost in memories. I was such an idiot. “Even after we were together, I never really let myself. I didn’t have the balls to be what you needed.”

She turns her head, resting against the afghan and watching me with sad eyes.

I suck my teeth. “I guess it doesn’t matter now.”

“Why do you bring me here?” she asks.

“Because life gets noisy. And when I was a kid… when I was in your room, under your makeshift sky with those tacky neon stickers, the world would get quiet. I thought maybe this could do the same for you.” I wave my arm at the Tennessee starlight.

She stares at me, and I watch the delicate slope of her neck as she swallows. “Sometimes… sometimes I look at you and I wanna punch you in the face.”

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