Page 31 of Beneath the Stars (Sugarlake 1)

Alina

Eighteen Years Old

Things are different since Lily ran away. I can only imagine what losing her does to Chase’s psyche. I try so hard to get him to open up, but just like when we were kids, he won’t let me in. That brick wall I spent years smashing down resurrected seemingly overnight. But I’m not a quitter. So, I’ll stand at his back and sharpen his swords, hoping he slays his demons.

That doesn’t mean I’m not hurting with every missed phone call, or excuse as to why he can’t make the trip down. I don’t push him because I’m terrified he’ll snap our connection in half. In the back of my mind, the red flags wave from the way he uses our distance as a shield.

We’re at a restaurant in Nashville, a live band performing on the stage. Chase sits next to me, an arm thrown lazily over the back of my chair. His fingers toy with the ends of my hair. Lindsay won’t stop waxing poetic about their “amazing friendship.” With every word out of her mouth, the urge to slap her silly grows.

Jax sends worried glances my way. He’s become one of my closest friends. He knows how hard I’ve had to try with Chase lately. Our car rides together are like therapy, letting me vent my fears and frustrations. Relieving me of carrying the burden alone. It’s a comfort to share the weight.

Chase leans over, running kisses down my hairline. I melt into him, the sting of jealousy ebbing away. He’s mine, after all.

Lindsay’s eyes glint, watching us. “Chase, tell them about the spider fiasco at my place.”

Chase’s body tenses, his lips leaving my skin as he straightens in his chair. “They don’t want to hear stupid shit like that.”

I cock my head at him. “I’d like to hear it.”

He sucks his teeth, looking at me. “There was a spider at her place. She was scared of it, and it was hiding in her bathroom. I found the fucker and killed it.” He shrugs.

Lindsay laughs. “Oh, don’t be so modest.” She turns her eyes on me. “It was a giant wolf spider! The thing was hanging out in my bathroom, and I was too terrified to even go in there. I called Chase, and like usual, he came right over.”

She smiles at him. “By the time he got there, the spider was nowhere to be found. I was a panicked mess. But Chase stayed with me all weekend until he finally was able to find the damn thing and kill it.” She puts her hands over her heart. “My hero.”

My stomach drops. I slowly nod my head at her story. “All weekend, huh? And when was this?”

“Oh, about three weeks ago, right Chase?”

Chase shifts, clearly uncomfortable, and a forgotten gash reopens across my heart. My body throbs at the pain. Three weeks ago, the toddler dance class I teach had a recital. It was the first one I choreographed, and I was so excited for everyone to see all the hard work I’d put into their routine. I begged Chase to come home for it. But he didn’t, saying he wasn’t able to get off work. Nausea swirls in my stomach at the knowledge he was with her.

Did he lie to me?

Jax is staring slack-jawed from across the table.

Chase moves his arm, reaching down to my thigh and squeezing. I push his hand off me, unable to stand the thought of his touch. Tears burn behind my eyes, and I push my chair back, excusing myself to use the restroom. Jax—not Chase—is the one who stands, trying to follow. I put my hand up to stop him. I just need a moment.

I lock myself in a stall, leaning my head against the cold metal. Breathing deeply, I try to calm my racing heart. I’m sure there’s a perfectly reasonable explanation for this. I don’t think Chase would cheat on me, but him putting Lindsay before me hurts almost as bad. With a couple more breaths, I pull myself together and open the stall.

Lindsay is at the row of sinks, leaning against the counter, her arms crossed. She scans me up and down. “You know, I really don’t get it.”

I keep my eyes straight ahead as I wash my hands. “Mmm.”

I don’t ask her to clarify. I may be small town, but I’m not stupid. I know vindictiveness when I see it. This girl is itching to start something.

“Yeah, I mean… when I found out Chase had a girlfriend, I was pretty torn up. I had my sights set on him from the jump.” She laughs, tilting her head to the side. “And then I saw you, and I realized maybe he’s not so far out of reach, after all.”

I meet her eyes in the mirror. Usually, words don’t affect me. Chase’s avoidance, coupled with the knowledge he’s been with her all those times he could’ve been with me, grates my confidence until there’s nothing left.

I reach for a paper towel, slowly wiping my hands. “Lindsay, I don’t know what game you’re tryin’ to play. But whatever it is, you’re wastin’ your time. Chase and I have belonged to each other since the moment we met. There’s no comin’ between us.”

“Oh you silly, stupid, girl.” She throws her head back and laughs. “I already have.” She steps closer, her tall frame casting a shadow over me. “Every time you call and he doesn’t pick up? I’m right next to him, watching as he silences the phone.” Another step closer. “When you beg for him to come home? All it takes is one word from me, and he drops everything to be by my side.” Her finger taps her chin. “Now, I wonder why that is?” A smile spreads slowly across her face before she spins on her heel and walks out.

My fingernails dig into my palms so hard I’m sure I’m breaking skin. I trust Chase.

I love Chase.

But I can’t stand the way this feels.

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