Page 11 of Beneath the Stars (Sugarlake 1)

I’ve been staying strong, keeping away from Goldi. For three weeks, anytime I’ve seen her, I turn and walk the other way. But it doesn’t stop my heart from reaching out for hers, trying to match its rhythm.

Tonight though, I’m too weak to resist. It’s been a shit day with shit memories, and I’m suffocating without her.

As I open her window and climb inside, I tell myself that tomorrow I’ll throw my feelings in a box and lock it up tight.

Tomorrow, I’ll be strong.

It’s dark other than the glow ‘n stick stars on her ceiling. I made her promise never to take them down. She hasn’t asked why, but if she did, I’d tell her it’s because they light the path straight to her. Fucking pathetic. Still, my chest warms knowing that even without me here, she’s kept them up.

She’s sleeping when I reach her bed, and I lean down to brush the strands of hair off her face. My eyes drink her in, gliding over her features, and memorizing every inch.

She’s so fucking beautiful.

She stirs as I trace my index finger down her cheek.

“Chase?” She blinks.

“Yeah, Goldi. It’s me.”

She stretches her arms, her tank top lifting and revealing her midriff. I swallow hard and look away. I feel her stare, though. She’s the only person in my life that looks through all the bullshit and dives straight into my soul. The only person I’d ever want to.

“What’s the matter, Chase?”

I crawl over her and slip under the covers. “Nothing’s wrong, I just wanted to see you.”

She turns to face me, sinking down on her side. “I thought you’d gone and wrote me off. Then here you are crawlin’ back in my window like you haven’t ignored me for the past three weeks.”

I cringe. “I know. I’m an asshole.”

“Is that your version of an apology?”

“It’s me saying I fucked-up and I know it. You make me feel… so much, Goldi. I don’t know how to handle it, sometimes.”

She reaches over, grabbing my hand and interlocking our fingers. “Apology accepted.”

Guilt slithers up my spine knowing I’m not planning on changing my ways. “I’ll probably fuck up again, you know.”

She yawns. “Yeah, probably.”

My throat is tight, clogged from all the things I want to tell her. “How you feeling today, Goldi?”

She doesn’t answer, already drifting back to sleep. I lay in the silence, content to just be in her presence, my thumb stroking lazily over the back of her hand.

“... you make me feel too, Chase.” I’m not even sure she’s awake when she says it.

It’s been a hard day, but like always, being around her lifts the heaviness from my chest, and for the first time in three weeks I can breathe again.

Tomorrow, I’ll be strong.

5

Alina

Fifteen Years Old

There’s a bonfire tonight down at the lake. It’s a tradition. A last hurrah for the end of summer. I’d rather stay home, and curl up with a good book instead.

“I think I’m gonna skip out on this one,” I tell Lily as she rampages my closet.

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