Page 118 of Beneath the Stars (Sugarlake 1)

“Oh,” I whisper. His words are another jagged cut to my soul, keeping tally of all the ways people leave. I don’t know what to say. Even though I can’t love him the way he wants, I still love him. The selfish part of me wishes that were enough.

He reaches out and grips my hand tight. “I’ll still come back to visit. My mom would kill me if I didn’t spend holidays with her. But this is something I need to do.”

“Is it because of me?”

“A little,” he admits.

My face crumples, the pieces of my heart falling into my stomach.

Jax rushes out his next words. “Please, sweetheart, don’t cry. I just need to get some space. Find myself, get over you. I can’t do that here… I need you to understand.”

I sniffle, nodding my head. I get it. But it doesn’t make it hurt any less. “Will w–we be okay?”

“Yeah, we’ll be okay.” With one more squeeze of my hand, he smiles. “No more of these tears, alright? I’ve got a hot date tonight, and I need her to be at her best.”

I giggle, drying my eyes.

We spend the rest of the day together. Time with him moves faster now that I know he’s about to be gone. He keeps the mood light, but still, anxiety eats at my insides as Jax pulls into the rec center’s parking lot. I tried to get a hold of Daddy and Eli, but neither of them answered, and things are still on edge with Chase. He reassured me there was nothing to worry about, but the ghosts of our past still float inside my head.

“You ready for this?” Jax asks as he parks. “It’s my last night here, sweetheart, let’s make it count.” His perfect teeth gleam in the artificial light of the street lamps.

My heart twinges. He’s leavin’ and I don’t know when he’ll be comin’ back.

I keep my eyes peeled for Chase as we walk in, but I don’t find him. Maybe he’s lost in the crowd. I think everyone in the history of Sugarlake is here.

“Shit, they really know how to throw a party, huh,” Jax murmurs, his hand on my lower back as he leads me farther into the room.

There are long tables set up along the walls—appetizers covering every inch. A bar sits in the corner of the room, and that’s where Jax steers me. He orders our drinks while I lean against the bar top, glancing around again for Chase. Where is he?

I don’t see him, but my gaze snags on Anna talking to Logan. Great. I sho

uld have known he would be here. Logan notices me and a smile takes over his face as he says something to Anna and saunters over. We weren’t in a relationship, but I still feel guilty about ghosting on him the way I did. I haven’t even thought about him because I’ve been so tied up in Chase.

Anna watches as he walks over to me, and my insides tighten at her stare. Super, more ammunition for the Hate Alina Brigade.

Jax tenses next to me, squeezing my waist. He leans in to whisper in my ear. “I’m gonna go find the men’s room. I’ll be back.”

I nod, keeping my eyes on Logan. I’m sure Jax is really leaving to avoid him, but honestly, I’m relieved. I don’t want to deal with the drama tonight.

“Alina. Hey, I was hopin’ you’d be here.” Logan pulls me in for a hug. I squirm, uncomfortable with his attention.

“Yeah? Here I am.” I back up, drinking from my wine as I glance around for Chase.

His eyes dim. “Everything okay?”

I sigh, lowering my glass onto the bar top and wringing my hands together. “Logan, I—”

His laughter cuts me off. “Don’t tell me. You’re endin’ things.”

I grimace. “Was there ever really somethin’ to end?”

“There could have been if you had wanted.”

“You’re an amazin’ man, but I’m with—”

Logan puts his hand up. “I don’t need the story, babe. We were just havin’ fun, right? It was bound to end at some point.” His eyes peruse my body. “But damn, was it fun while it lasted.”

“It was that.”

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