Page 114 of Beneath the Stars (Sugarlake 1)

My heart palpitates as I stand in front of her tombstone. I expected it to be in disarray—wilting flowers, some leaves that need to be cleaned. But it’s pristine. Cleaner than I’ve ever seen it, like someone took the time to meticulously scrub away all the dirt and grime. Fresh tulips sit in a vase with an envelope placed underneath. I step closer and peer down at the writing.

Dear, Ma.

My heart squeezes tight, forcing tears to trickle from my eyes. Eli came to see her. I wondered if he would. All the anger I felt toward him washes away, and I cry for my big brother.

“Hey, Mama.” I lay the flowers I brought along the bottom of her tombstone. “I see you had another visitor. I bet you’ve been missin’ him somethin’ fierce, huh?” I sit cross-legged, resting my elbows on my knees. “I’ve been askin’ for you to bring Eli home for years, and you finally did it. So thanks, I suppose. Although, this isn’t the way I expected it to happen.” I chuckle.

“Did you know he was gettin’ hitched?” I rest my chin in my hand. “I bet you were spyin’ on every second of him fallin’ in love, just couldn’t help yourself.”

Memories slide behind my eyes of Mama fussing over Eli and his “lonely heart.”

“Did you send Chase back to me, too?” A leaf blows onto my knee, and I pick it up, fingering the delicate greenery.

“Yo

u’re just movin’ down the list, huh?” I chew on my lip, frowning. “When ya gonna get to Daddy? Can you go be his guardian angel for a bit? I miss him almost as much as I miss you. For almost as long too.”

The breeze picks up, leaving a chill on my skin that’s unusual for this time of year. I close my eyes and meditate on the feeling—try to reach out and grasp a connection to Mama’s spirit. Eventually, a car door slams bringing me out of my reverie.

With a kiss to her name, I leave.

There’s a text waiting for me when I get to my car. I smile, seeing Jax’s name on my phone. He’s finally reaching out. I’ve wanted to smother him with my presence, but I know things are still raw. He says he needs space, so I’ve been trying to give that to him.

Jax: Hey sweetheart. What ya up to? Can we get together tonight? I’ve got some news.

Me: I’m busy tonight, but I’m all yours tomorrow evening! Wanna go out or stay in?

Jax: Shit, can’t do tomorrow.

Me: You going to Sam’s party on Saturday?

He’s leaving town soon to go back to California, but I hope I get at least one more weekend with him before he does.

Jax: Yep. I’ll be there to steal the show.

I grin.

It’s a beautiful night at the lake. But it always is when I’m there with Chase. Once again, we’re lying on the afghan in the back of his black pickup truck. Only this time, I’m not having to fight my feelings. No need to hesitate before reaching over and grabbing his hand, or rolling over and putting my head on his chest.

He tells me about the private investigator coming, and I vent my fears about Daddy. Mainly, that he won’t be able to string together a “congrats” for Sam at his retirement party. Once we’ve lightened the weight of what’s bringing us down, we’re able to relax, and just enjoy the peace that comes along with being together beneath the stars.

He trails kisses down the column of my neck, and my body trembles under his touch. My stomach tightens as his hand dips below my summer dress.

“Have I ever told you how much I fucking love the fact you always wear skirts and dresses?” He slips under the fabric and slides through my folds, spreading the wetness that’s leaking out of me from his touch and his words.

“Wh–why’s that?” I stutter.

“Easy access.” His breaths puff against my neck as he talks, and it sends shivers up and down my spine.

“Chase,” I breathe. “We’re in public.”

“There’s nobody here but us, baby.”

He bites my collarbone, a sting setting in from the marks his teeth leave behind. He pushes a thick finger inside me, my eyes fluttering closed as I gasp into his touch. He starts to slowly pump his finger in and out, frissons of lust sparking through my body.

“Besides,” he continues. “I think you’d like it if people were all around us, oblivious to the fact I’m about to make you come all over my hand.” He grinds his palm against me as he speaks.

My mouth parts, my eyes rolling back. I love that he knows what turns me on without me having to voice it. Is that why he keeps doing things where anyone can see? Heat spirals through my veins at the thought. He slips another finger in and moves faster, making me writhe underneath him. Tingles bloom between my legs.

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