Page 17 of Beneath the Stars (Sugarlake 1)

Eighteen Years Old

For as long as I can remember, I’ve been the picture of self-control. Since finding out Goldi’s going on a date, I’m starting to understand people who let emotions rule their life. I guess when it comes to her, I’ve always been weak.

I knew it was a dick move earlier. I could see the confusion in her eyes as my words promised things that my actions contradict. Swear to God, I tried to stay away tonight. I attempted to drown out the thoughts with the sound of hammers and drills, but nothing worked. So here I am, waiting in her room, leg bouncing and gut burning.

The ticking of the clock on her wall is the only sign the night is getting shorter, and the date is getting longer. The silence leaves me space to ruminate in thoughts of where they are—what they’re doing.

I’m such a fucking idiot.

I’ve been torturing myself for years. Creating boundaries. Keeping her placed firmly as “little sister’s best friend,” refusing to let myself have her because it will hurt too bad when she leaves.

Everybody always leaves.

But I didn’t realize it would be like this. Like my world is breaking apart at the thought of someone else getting to touch her, feel her, love her.

A car door slams. My feet move before I can stop them, taking me to the window. Reed helps her out of the car and I watch as they walk up to the porch, my stomach sinking as I see her beaming smile aimed at him.

Fuck.

He’s looking down at her, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. I grip the window pane, physically restraining myself from jumping through the glass and breaking all his fingers. My chest grows tight, body trembling as a sheen of sweat breaks across my brow. Don’t kiss him, Goldi.

She does.

I’m in a special kind of hell. Must be karmic retribution from when I sat across from Goldi while Suzy Albott had her hand down my pants, whispering in my ear how she wanted my cum on her tongue. I ignored Goldi on purpose that night, pissed off she was cozied up to Ricky Walker. But I saw her watching. I saw her stand up and drag Ricky away, disappointment and hurt marring her perfect fucking face.

I’m brought out of my regrets when I see her break the kiss. Finally.

Reed whispers something that makes her smile, and I imagine the blush that’s blooming on her cheeks for him. My arms strain, fighting the urge to reach out and steal the color for myself.

She walks inside, and I glare at him until he’s back in the car. I watch until taillights disappear down the street. That’s right, fucker. Go home and don’t come back.

“Chase, what the heck are you doin’ here?”

I spin around, my chest squeezing at the sound of her voice. She has no idea how much she affects me. “Hey. Thought I’d stop by… see how your date went.”

She makes a sound of disbelief. “Really?”

A thousand words are on the tip of my tongue, dying to break free. He fucking kissed you. Did you like it? Did you think of me at all?

I lay down on her bed, propping my arms behind my head, hoping she can hear my questions through the silence. I’m not sure I’d even want the answers.

She glances toward her door before walking over to the stereo and turning on music. I smirk. Her room is on the other side of the house, but she’s always afraid her parents will hear.

“Well, it went great, if you must know.”

“Where’d he take you?”

“Down to the lake. We had a picnic.”

“Original.”

“It was romantic.”

The sting of teeth biting through my cheek is the only thing that keeps me from losing my shit. “Are you planning on seeing him again?”

A halo of hair whirls around her as she spins to face me. Damn, she’s pretty.

“What’s it to you? You know, this overprotective big brother act is gettin’ old, Chase. You might want to spend more time worryin’ about your real sister, instead of who’s dippin’ into my panties.”

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