Page 107 of Beneath the Stars (Sugarlake 1)

“Oh, no? Have you given them the impression you’d be open to hearin’ about her?”

He quiets. The old Chase would clam up and change the subject anytime Lily’s name was spoken. I wouldn’t be surprised if his folks were scared to bring her up in conversation. But I could be wrong because this new Chase is an enigma. He’s more open than he was in the past—this weekend in Nashville proved that.

The Nar-Anon meeting was different than I expected. I’ve been spending the past twenty-four hours processing, and I’m still not sure how I feel. I’ve heard about Alcoholics Anonymous. Heck, I’ve tried to get Daddy to go a thousand times. But I hadn’t heard of a support group for friends and family.

Their stories were harrowing, digging deep inside, and pulling up ugly feelings I’d rather keep buried. Exposing the rawness I only uncover in solitude.

I didn’t think there would ever be a day where Chase spoke his story. I spent years hoping he’d share his burdens. Even though I get now why he kept it buried, the fact I wasn’t what he needed to heal is a bitter pill to swallow.

There are some things the heart can’t forget. Loving Chase is one. Being hurt by him is another. But losing my daddy to the devil makes me understand. Chase’s mama ravaged his soul, leaving him to pick up the pieces, and abilities become stunted when something is battered and bruised. It doesn’t excuse his behavior. It doesn’t lessen th

e phantom pain of his betrayals. But it helps.

“I’ve been thinking about what you said,” he blurts.

“I say a lot of things.” I press my fingers into a knot on his neck.

“About a private investigator. To find Lily. I wasn’t planning on doing anything, but maybe this is the universe telling me I need to find her.”

“Do you think that’s what it is? A sign from God?” God. Universe. Same thing as far as I’m concerned.

“I don’t fucking know.” He tugs his hair again, leaning into me. “What do you think I should do?”

The lost look in his eyes makes me want to scour the world for him. I chew my lip, considering my words. “I reckon you should talk to your folks before you decide on anything.”

He reaches back, palming my thigh. “Yeah, you’re probably right. Will you come with me?”

My eyes bulge. “To talk to your folks?”

“Yeah. I don’t want to do it alone.” His voice cracks.

“Okay. I’ll go.” I slide my hands to his chest, wrapping my legs around his waist and squeezing tight.

I don’t tell him how the thought of seeing them makes my stomach roll. How every time I’ve run into Anna, the air grows chilly. I don’t open up about the resentment I feel knowing Sam dropped Daddy like he couldn’t be bothered to help him through his pain.

I don’t mention any of these things. But I sure do think them.

The smell of fresh coffee wakes me, and I inhale deep, groaning as I stretch my muscles. I take my time getting out of Chase’s bed, rubbing the sleep from my eyes. Snatching my phone off the end table, I check the time. I’m relieved I didn’t oversleep. I don’t want to be late for work, in case Regina’s there.

Grabbing my clothes from my overnight bag, I head to the en suite. I don’t have any of my toiletries—other than a toothbrush—so I’ll have to use whatever’s available. The thought of smelling like Chase all day makes my belly flutter.

Showered and dressed for the day, I walk to the kitchen in search of some caffeine and some kisses from my man. Chase is leaning on the counter, scrolling his phone while he sips coffee. He looks up and smiles. My heart skips. Those dang dimples.

“How you feeling today, Goldi?” he asks. Joy, pure and bright, fills me at his question. It’s been a long time since I’ve heard it.

“Hi.” I grin, planting a soft kiss on his lips. “I feel great.”

His big hand grabs me from behind and squeezes, pulling me further into him. “Fuck, I love having you here in the morning. Did you sleep okay?”

I nod, swiping his coffee and taking a drink. I hum as it hits my tongue. There’s just something about that first sip in the morning that can’t be beaten. Having Chase next to me while I savor the taste is the cherry on top. I could get used to this.

His eyes darken as he watches me. “You better stop that.”

“Stop what?” I murmur, taking another gulp.

“Everything you’re doing. You’re making me want to bend you over this counter, and we don’t have time for that.”

My body heats as I imagine the feeling of him behind me, pushing my hips into the granite with his thrusts. I shift and bite my lip, arousal zinging between my legs.

---