Page 89 of Tell Me When It's Over

“Baby steps, babe,” Dylan responds, kissing Mia sweetly.

She melts into him, settling on his lap. “I know. It’s just nerve wracking.”

“It’ll be okay, Mia.”

She smiles at me. “So, you’ll help? I’ve been bugging this one about it, but he’s all like ‘I don’t act’ blah blah blah.”

Dylan snorts. “I don’t sound like that.”

I giggle. “Yes, I’ll help.”

She beams. “Yay! I’m supposed to get the script in a couple days. My agent says it’d be a perfect fit for me.”

I’m happy for her. Really happy. The giddiness in her voice, the way her husband looks at her with so much love and admiration, makes me want that too. And I think…I think of what to do, letting Dylan’s words soak in.

Swallowing, I pick up my things and grab a tight hold on my cell phone. “I’m going upstairs. I think…” I lick my bottom lip. “I think I need to make some calls.”

They both glance at me. It’s Mia who mirrors my words back at me. “It’ll be okay, Lenny. Everything happens for a reason.”

Is it wrong that I hate when people say that? Everybody means well by it, but it never sits well with me. It curdles in my stomach until I can’t take it anymore.

Because my mother is dead.

Because my life got flipped upside down.

What’s the reasoning for that? What possible reason is there to make my life hell over and over again? Some might say it was to make me stronger, and it has. Even with my mother, I had to grow up and be the adult. Without her?

Well, they say that every struggle one day is a developing strength the next. Thanks to Katherine Grier, I could beat the Incredible Hulk in a one-on-one battle.

My first phone call is to the only person who can relieve the ball of nerves tangled in my chest muscles and make everything okay again.

But Kyler doesn’t pick up.

You wouldn’t think seeing him would feel like it’s been years, but the way his smile grows and arms open to welcome me back makes the guilt for putting this off tenfold.

He really missed me. And he’s going to pretend it didn’t happen. I can tell when I step into his arms and he wraps them around me, squeezing me to his chest until I can hear his heartbeat thump, thump, thump against my ear.

“Missed you,” he murmurs against the top of my head, kissing it briefly before pulling back to examine me.

Classes today were rough, but it’s Friday which means an entire weekend off since I’m not scheduled to work. I asked Quinn if she could cover my shift tomorrow because I didn’t want Kyler thinking I was running even when I agreed to come home. He gave me space by not coming to Delmar’s when I thought he would, so it’s only fair that I stay here and not plan an escape.

The tight feeling in my chest as I step away from the soapy, manly scent radiating from him reminds me why I should have never left. He guides me inside with a palm hovering over my lower back and I smell something familiar as we enter the kitchen.

“Is that…?” There’s a huge bowl of Kraft macaroni and cheese on the counter, the cheese melted with steam billowing from the top. I know it’s my favorite brand because there are a ton of packets lining the other side of the island like he didn’t have time to clean up before I opened the front door.

Kyler nudges my shoulder. “I figured you’d want something simple. Thought we could watch something. Catch up.”

He wants to catch up. And watch TV. I can’t help but turn to him with unblinking eyes. Kyler is always picky about what he eats and not once has he eaten my favorite go-to meal with me past a few bites.

Swallowing past the emotion lodged in the back of my throat, I try clearing it away. I wasn’t sure he meant what he said when he called me back the other day. His name popped up on my screen twenty minutes into my conversation with Chase, who told me he understood why I’d been quiet and made plans to see me when I told him I had to go, and I answered Ky’s call to hear his relieved sigh. He promised he wouldn’t bring it up, saying, “I just want you here, Lele. Come home?”

And that’s all it took. The “yes” was followed by another answering sigh, that one lighter, until I told him I wanted to finish out the school week at Mia’s because it was a little closer to campus. Reluctantly, he agreed.

As promised, Chase had met up with me at Delmar’s the day after we talked on the phone. It wasn’t a conversation I wanted to have after my shift ended, but it was necessary. His hug had been warm and strong, but the way I held him to me reminded me that his hugs weren’t Kyler’s. The comparison had come out of nowhere, and I blamed my hormones. Mother Nature always hit me hard during periods the first few days, but the incident had my emotions wrapped in a tight rubber band ball waiting to snap which didn’t help matters any.

The talk with Chase happened on a walk in a nearby park, and he hadn’t made it as awkward as I thought it’d be. Not that I’m surprised. Chase has always been sweet like that, thinking of me before himself. So, when he told me how sorry he was, I had to stop him. Because he shouldn’t be the one apologizing. It was me, and I did. I was sorry for not calling him. I was sorry for ignoring his messages, and I was especially sorry for making him think that he was somehow at fault for what happened.

We’re both embarrassed. We’re both going to move on from it because we have no other choice. The kiss we departed on after he dropped me off at Mia’s was sweet. Nothing lingering that would lead to more. He didn’t ask to come in, and I didn’t invite him.

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