Page 88 of Tell Me When It's Over

The week I told myself to keep distance from Kyler had turned into two. Then three. He called me, and when I ignored them and his voice messages, he called Mia. When she finally told him to give me space, Kyler called Dylan. My nerves were shot, and every time I convinced myself to go back to the house and face the music, I chickened out.

I don’t blame Dylan for telling me to move on from what happened four weeks ago. I’m trying. I don’t even get the burning in my chest when I think about Kyler, and I’m not haunted by the look of disgust on his face when I close my eyes at night. I’m working past it. Slowly.

Mia walks into the room, cradling her stomach with a big smile on her face. “Leave her alone, Dill. We’ve all been through this. It’s traumatizing.”

I’ll forever be grateful for Mia coming to rescue me and letting me stay here with them, but I get it. She and Dylan haven’t had a lot of time alone since I’ve arrived, minus the times I go to campus during the day and the café in the afternoons. School only started a week ago, and I’ve been adjusting to my new, busy schedule, and loving the distraction it gives me.

It isn’t like my presence has forced either of them to be monks. They’ve always been heavy with the PDA and hands on stuff, and I’ve had the misfortune of hearing them a time or two or three when they thought they were being quiet.

The thought makes me blush, catching Mia’s interest. “What?”

I simply shake my head.

“I still think she should talk to them,” my brother-in-law for all intents and purposes says.

He’s right. I know he is—I’m just being…me. Awkward. Overthinking everything. Chase has left a few voice messages telling me he’s okay with giving me some time, but that he wants to talk face to face, not over phone or through text. I know that’s what has to be done, that I can’t hide forever, but it’s daunting.

Yet, when I think about doing the same with Kyler, it’s worse. Worse because I’m afraid that he’ll look at me but not at me—the girl he used to know—but instead, the me who is her mother’s daughter. There’s only ever been one person’s approval I craved the most, and it wasn’t Mom’s like I used to think. It’s his.

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When I turn my phone over and open my messages, I thumb through the first messages he sent a week after I originally planned on coming home before anxiety took over.

Kyler: Please come home

Kyler: We need to talk about this

Kyler: I miss you

It’s those exact texts that made me overstay my welcome here, because I know I need to come home, and I know we need to talk, and I miss him more than I wish I did, but the more I think about that night, the more I wish I could take it all back. I wish I didn’t care what those girls said at UCLA, and that my mind never agreed to greenlight things with Chase.

The newer ones give me a little courage, a sense of strength on top of the encouragement Dylan and Mia have given me over the past couple of weeks.

Kyler: We can forget it happened

Kyler: I just want you home

Despite my embarrassment, which will turn me tomato-red the second I see him, I want him back too, and my mind grips that like it’s a life raft while I take those words out of context. He wants me back. Between Mia, Dylan, and my own conscience telling me that what happened is a natural part of life, it doesn’t mean things won’t be different when I do step foot back into the house.

Thankfully, Mia decides to change the subject from her husband’s pep talk. “Maybe once you and Kyler make up, you guys can help me with a project.”

My eyes dart to hers. “What project?”

I recognize the excitement in her eyes. It’s the same look she got when she first confirmed to me that The Casanova’s was picked up for another season after she was sure the network would cancel it. Granted, she seems fine with the time the show has been on hold, so maybe that’s why she’s even more stoked to start something new.

Her and Dylan exchange a look before she meets my eyes again. “This isn’t public or anything—” As if I’d tell anyone. “—but I’m auditioning for a role in a drama based on a book. You’ve heard of Kinley Thomas, right?”

Had I— “Babe,” Dylan laughs. “She’s the one who told you to read the first books turned into a movie from her.”

I nod to that.

Mia frowns. “Oh. Yeah.” She glances down at her stomach like it’s to blame for her memory. Maybe it is, I know nothing about pregnancy other than what she’s shared, and that’s been more than enough already. “Anyway, her newest book is being made into a movie by the same company. It’s not a lead role or anything but it’s something.”

“Mia, that’s great!” Kinley Thomas happens to be one of my favorite contemporary authors, and her and her husband Corbin—who was the star in her book-to-movie box office success Through Shattered Glass have been deemed Hollywood’s “it” couple even after their rocky start. My smile grows over the prospect of Mia being able to work with her. “I may be a little jealous right now. They’d be stupid not to let you have a part.”

She rolls her eyes. “It’s a big leap, Lenny Lou. Not a lot of people take reality stars seriously, at least not at first. Plus, they want to start filming next summer.”

The cringe I answer with has her nodding. That’s going to be hard with a baby. Dylan is home a lot more these days and there’s no doubt he’ll be a great father, but I know how much work Mia will probably have to put into any role she gets that might take away from motherhood—something she’s always wanted to be invested in like her mother was invested in she and Kyler’s lives.

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