Page 130 of Tell Me When It's Over

Leighton / Present Day

Once the morning brain fog clears, everything comes rushing back to me. There’s a full feeling in my chest that’s hard to ignore, and a smile that’s even harder to stop from forming at the corners of my tired lips. I expect the bed to be empty when I sneak a peek at the opposite side, but it’s not. All six foot three of him is still there and he’s awake, one arm still tucked around me, while the other is draped over his stomach.

He looks…contemplative.

There are a lot of things I can say—things I’m not certain he’d want to hear. But the longer we lay in bed pretending to be asleep and not saying a word will only make things worse. And I’ve learned spending too much time in your head can cause more problems than what may or may not exist already. So, I say the first thing that comes to mind, ignoring the early morning hoarseness in my tone. “I don’t regret anything, and I’m hoping you don’t either.”

There are two reasons I’m sure he doesn’t. For one, he’s still here. Not downstairs cooking breakfast, or running five extra miles to clear his head, or God knows where else with people of the opposite sex that I don’t even want to think about. The second telltale sign is the oddly…soft look on his face. One side of his lips are curved upward, creating that little dimple I love so much, and his eyes are light when they turn to look at me.

When he studies me, there’s a swarm of butterflies that come to life in the pit of my stomach, and I don’t give him the chance to ruin the moment. “Not that there’s anything to regret, because people do that stuff all the time. I mean, I haven’t obviously, but you have.” His cheek twitches over my unintended insinuation that he’s some sort of man whore. Backtracking, I sit up on an elbow. “You don’t regret it do you? I know you were sleeping, but—”

“I wasn’t.”

My lips part to answer, but then I blink as his words settle in and I tilt my head in silence.

Kyler sits up, the top sheet falling off his chest and scrunching around his waist. The tee is still fitted to his body, with the stain from last night staring back at me. Biting into my bottom lip, my eyes trail back up his torso until I’m met with amused, warm brown eyes. “I wasn’t asleep,” he repeats slowly. “Not for the part that mattered. Not for…any of it, really. I knew who was under me because I could smell you.”

“Smell me?”

His finger reaches out and touches a strand of loose hair before tucking it behind my ear, an easy smile on his face. “You remember those fruit smoothies that Mia used to make when she was on that all-liquid diet?” I nod, not sure where this is going because those smoothies tasted awful. They made Mia moody because that and only a handful of other things were all she ate for a solid two weeks. Kyler had to pay her to break the diet and eat something before she murdered one of us. Most likely him because I was smart enough to keep my mouth shut around her. “You have this fruity, floral scent about you. It’s unique. Peaches, apples, and jasmine. So, yeah. Maybe I was asleep at first, but I smelled you, still knew who was underneath me the whole time and made the move anyway.”

That still doesn’t tell me if he regretted it, and he must sense the heightening anxiety rising from my pores because he shakes his head at me, tugging my body close to his like how we fell asleep last night. “I think we need to talk about something first, Lenny.”

What could be more important than talking about what happened last night? When my body tenses, he sighs and places a hand between my shoulder blades, holding me to him, slowly stroking up and down my spine. “I don’t regret what happened last night. But I’m not going to lie, okay? I wish it’d happened differently.”

I blink into his chest, my muscles only easing from their tense stance a fraction. Okay. He didn’t regret it. That’s a start, right? “You don’t?”

I’m not sure, but I think he chuckles, his hand never breaking from the rhythmic strokes along my spine. Instead of reassuring me, he lets out another small sigh, almost inaudible. “Harry knew,” is what he answers with, causing my brows to pinch. “Not at first, but it was long before the pictures surfaced from the PI. Do you remember that day?”

How could I forget the day he’s talking about? Most girls dream of their sweet sixteen parties and everything they’re going to get. All I wanted was to spend time with Mia and Kyler, eat cake, and enjoy their company. Instead, I got kicked out of the one home I found comfort in, all because of Mom. Of her lie.

“Yes,” my tiny voice says, taking a deep breath. Had I ever apologized to him before? I know I said I was sorry for what Mom did, but I never told him how sorry I was for not bothering to stay in touch when I could have, even if he didn’t try harder either. “About the lie—”

“No. Don’t say anything right now. I should have never hired anybody to check out Katherine’s story because it’s always felt like I broke your trust. It was never you I doubted. It was her. Her and her intentions seemed pretty obvious from the beginning. I never understood why Harry couldn’t see that—why he played into her hand.

“I never realized that he knew too, not until after. Did you know that after you two left, he came back and looked for Katherine? I don’t think he realized that she’d actually listen to him about going. Can’t say I blame the guy. She never listened to anything he said. But he did look. He went to their room, searched the spare bedroom where she kept some of her extra shit, and then saw your room cleared out. He went off, Leighton. On me. Mia. Said I ruined everything because I couldn’t keep my nose out of his business.” He must shake his head, because I feel his chin move over the top of mine, back and forth. His hand pressing against my back tightens me against him, and I’m not sure if it’s intentional or not, but I let him hold me however he needs because there’s clearly more to this story.

“I can’t believe I’m going to say this because I’ve disliked the guy since I was old enough to know what that means, but Harry liked you. I’m fairly certain he wanted to see you as a daughter, so he refused to accept the truth even after he figured it out. You’ve always been driven like him, like Mia, and he appreciated that. Respected it. The man had a lot of people working under him, so I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised he already had Katherine followed and looked into. But…

“He was too far gone, I guess, by the time they pulled up the actual paperwork on you. You’ve always been an easy person to love, even for someone who I always assumed was heartless.”

I’ve never believed anybody was truly heartless, least of all his father. But I also never voiced that opinion because I knew how Kyler felt about the man. It isn’t like I didn’t understand where his frustrations came from. I’d seen plenty over the years of their relationship, or lack of one. His father wanted more for Kyler, and Kyler didn’t want to be controlled. He rebelled. He did the opposite of what Harry wanted, and that put an even bigger wedge between them. I’m not sure they’ll ever have the kind of relationship I had started forming with the man I once believed to be my biological father. Maybe it’s because I wanted to think he was, to form something with him that couldn’t be broken by my mother, but it obviously wasn’t meant to be.

If he liked me so much, why not try getting us back? “I’m not sure that’s true, Ky. He could have reached out somehow. If he…if he really hired somebody to go after Mom’s past, then he could have easily found her new number or tracked the car he let her drive away in. He never tried finding either of us.”

The responding silence leaves me wary of his thoughts. Anybody who internalizes them for this long must have something to say that I can’t prepare for. He does little to comfort my locked shoulders as I pull away to look up at him. “Ky?”

His eyes are closed, but only for a moment, before his chin dips down. “I told him you were better off.” Holding his stare with unblinking eyes, I feel something inside my chest deflate like a balloon being pricked by a needle. But before I can formulate a response, his hands twitch where they rest loosely on my back and says, “They were going to eat you alive here. You and your mother would have been targets. Everything stopped becoming about Mia and Dylan and their cheating scandal and all about you and how your mother lied. Harry was made a fool of in the press and had to do something about it, to make a statement. I’m not sure if you ever saw it—” I didn’t. “—but it was…shit, Lenny. It was ugly. The media made his life hell knowing he couldn’t remember how many women he slept with without protection to even figure out if he really

fathered a child with one.”

Not knowing what else to do, I simply stare and make a mental note to myself not to go searching for whatever statement he’s referring to, because when it comes to Harry, I’m not sure I want to know.

“I thought letting you go was going to be for the best, so you didn’t have to witness what was happening here. Things were tough for a while from what Mia said. I… Well, you know I got out of there as soon as I could. I kept to myself, only got photographed here and there over the following months until things died down. And they did eventually. There’s always some other scandal to report. By the time the press got over what had happened, I decided it was best not to reach out. I figured, hoped, you were living a better life away from all the shit we put you through here. Honestly, if I’d known…” His voice cracks as he takes a long, deep breath. “If I knew what was going on with your mother, I would have come and gotten you myself.”

How could he have known? He’s putting too much blame on himself. Is it hard accepting that he told Harry not to find me? Not to find my mother? Yes. And maybe when I think about it later, I’ll hold onto that twinge of hurt burrowing into my chest cavity, but I get it. Like always, Kyler was trying to do what was best for me. Stepping into his shoes, I would have done the same thing.

“I would have,” he repeats with more conviction, as if I don’t believe him. One of his palms skates up my throat, cupping my cheek while his thumb caresses my jaw. “Sometimes the things we think are right are actually the things that hurt us in the long run, and that means I failed you. I promised I’d never hurt you, Leighton. And I’m sorry.”

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