Page 63 of The Rival (Looking to Score 2)
“Sorry,” I say, my voice colder than I mean it to be. “But I’ve got it covered.”
“Are you . . . upset with me?” he asks, his brow furrowed.
“No, I’m not upset with you.” I didn’t realize the words were true until I said them. If I’m not upset, then what exactly am I feeling?
Love, a voice in my head whispers knowingly.
Love, even though you know he doesn’t feel the same way.
Love, even though he didn’t think to share something as big as the lawsuit with you, even when you were sharing the same bed.
Love, even though it hurts you.
Why can’t love ever be simple in my life? Why does it always come with complications and caveats? Why all the pain?
I squeeze my eyes closed, searching for the right way to phrase this. “It’s more that I’m confused, Alex. Why didn’t you tell me about the lawsuit? I mean, it began back when we were—” I cut myself off, choosing my next words carefully. “When we were in Canada. I just don’t understand why you kept it a secret from me.”
It takes him a moment to respond. While I wait, I let myself admire the features I’ve spent weeks trying to forget. That mess of brown hair. Those heavy eyebrows guarding vulnerable eyes. The sharp line of his jaw and the soft curve of his lips, which finally open to speak.
“Yeah.” Alex sighs, running a hand down his face. “About that. I’m sorry for not telling you. I don’t know what I was thinking. I guess I was just trying not to ruin our time together.”
“How would the truth have ruined our time together?”
A muscle twitches in his jaw, and he shakes his head in frustration. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, Aspen, but in general, people don’t really like me. Or even know me at all. But you took the chance to get to know me, and I—I guess I didn’t want you to think of me any differently.”
“But you see why that’s confusing to me, right? You didn’t give me the same chance that I gave you. You didn’t give me the chance to be there for you. All I’m saying is that you should have told me before you told Eden.”
Holy hell, I just sounded crazy jealous.
Alex’s eyes flash at his ex’s name, trained on mine before they soften, drifting to my lips. I’ve seen that face. This man desperately wants to kiss me.
“You’re right.”
“You say that I know you, but I’m not sure anymore.”
“You do, Aspen. You do know me. Maybe better than anyone else.”
Alex is so close to me now, our shadows bleed together into the darkness of the corner we’re hiding in. His expression is open and vulnerable.
How many other people have seen this side of him? His teammates, definitely not. Eden? Probably just glimpses. Maybe I do know him best. God, we’re so close. If we were to kiss, no one would know. It would be our little secret . . .
Just like our summer arrangement. And look where that got us.
I don’t want to be his dirty little secret. I can’t do that anymore.
I try to take a step back from him, but my feet won’t budge. So, I retreat with my words.
“You should have told me about the lawsuit. Not just as your friend, but as your colleague.” I trip up on the word friend, the bluntness of it feeling like a lie.
You don’t sleep with friends. I don’t, at least. Not anymore.
“I know. I’m sorry. I fucked up,” he says sincerely, and I believe him.
“Thanks for apologizing,” I murmur, my hand twitching at my side. I want to reach out and touch him. I want that intimacy we had back in Canada.
“Thanks for letting me. Hell, thanks for believing me.”
As if he had the very same thought, Alex reaches for my hand and laces our fingers together. His palm is rough and warm, instantly thawing my chilled skin. I melt into a puddle at the overwhelming sense of belonging that I feel at his touch.
This can’t happen, Aspen.
With the pending lawsuit and Eden’s repeated warnings, all signs point toward disaster. I can’t risk the fallout. If I learned anything from dating Dale, it was to trust a red flag when I see it.
“Yeah, well, Eden believes you, so why shouldn’t I?”
A complicated expression comes over his face when, speak of the devil, my phone rings.
I wrench my hand free from his and pull my phone out of my back pocket, lifting it to my ear. “Hey, Eden.”
“Hey. Sorry to make you run around like a crazy person, but I just thought of another errand you could knock out for me. Can you head back up to the office when you’re done with Les?”
“Sure, I’ll be right there,” I say, then tuck the phone back in my pocket.
