Page 58 of The Rival (Looking to Score 2)
“Are you kidding? I consider all of this a housewarming gift.”
“Well, this one you can drink.” She shoots me a playful wink.
I accept the bag with a grateful sigh. “You guys are the best. Seriously, I don’t know how I could have done it without both of you.”
After we swap sweaty hugs and promises to see each other at work on Monday, I watch them make their way down the stairs. My eyes linger on Eden’s hand, which rests comfortably between Holt’s shoulder blades. For the first time in a while, I let myself feel joy for them and their happiness, not just jealousy of what they share, even if it is a constant reminder of how alone I really am.
My phone buzzes in my back pocket. It’s my mom, checking in to see if now is a good time to chat.
Debating, I chew on my lip. I’ve kind of been avoiding her ever since the breakup. So, we haven’t really talked all summer, at least not in a meaningful way. I was so afraid to tell her—a wife who could only be separated from her husband by the finality of death—that my only serious relationship failed so miserably. My shoulders sag, but I know now is as good a time as any.
I close the front door and latch it, navigating the war zone that is my apartment until I reach the window seat and settle in. My thumb hovers over CALL for a moment’s hesitation. The phone rings a few times before she picks up.
“Hello, baby girl. Long time no chat.”
I smile at the nickname, suddenly feeling like a little kid all over again. If only life were that simple. “Hi, Mom. How are you?”
“Oh, you know. Busy as ever. That dang kids’ camp had me running around like a crazy person, to no one’s surprise. I finally got a membership at JoAnn’s to help pay for all those craft supplies, and now they won’t stop sending me emails.”
She rambles on for a while longer, but I don’t mind. Her voice is so comforting. I can’t believe I waited so long to do this.
“Enough about me,” she says with a dramatic sigh. “Tell me about you. How are you? How’s Dale?”
His name still feels like a bullet through my heart, but the pain passes faster and faster each day.
I take a deep breath. “Actually, there have been some pretty big changes in my life that I need to fill you in on. Are you sitting down?”
It takes about thirty minutes, at least ten of which I spend crying, to explain everything to my mom. We cover the cheating, the breakup, the couch-surfing, the cabin . . . I even tell her about Alex.
Well, not everything about Alex. Certainly not about the sex. My mom has no business knowing about that time we fucked on the kitchen island. Or that other time I blew him on the deck. Now that I think about it, I’m not sure if there’s a square inch on that property we didn’t claim as our own sexual playground.
Don’t think about it, Aspen.
“You’ll have to come see me at the new place,” I say, taking in all the cardboard boxes on the floor. “Once I’m more situated and settled in. It’s a bit of a war zone at the moment.”
“Well . . .” Her smile comes through, even over the phone. “Considering you never once invited me up to Boston when you know who was still in the picture, I must say that I’m pretty happy with these life changes. You sound more like yourself than you have in years. And I would love to come and visit and let you show me the city sights.”
Tears prick at the corners of my eyes because I know she’s right. Until recently, I was a version of myself that I didn’t like. I was closed off to family and friends, preferring no contact to the reality of admitting how emotionally abusive my relationship was. I was always “too busy,” choosing to drown myself in work rather than accept how unhappy my life had become.
“Yeah.” I let out a trembling sigh. “I definitely feel more like myself these days, and it feels really good.”
“That’s all I’ve ever wanted. You know I love you, right? Even when you wait a while to tell me everything all at once. I love you no matter what.”
“I love you too.”
“Now, you let me know when there’s someone special in the picture, all right?”
“Mom—”
“I know, I know. You don’t need a man. It’s just nice to have someone on your team, helping you get through life in one piece. God knows I miss your father every single day.”
“I miss him too.” I cradle my phone against my cheek, wiping a stray tear away with my thumb.
