Page 10 of Silent Partner (Pine Falls 3)

My phone buzzed just as I closed my eyes. I reached over for it and saw a response from Tristan.

Why are you up so early?

I’m having trouble sleeping. I would tell him about the nightmares in person, from the comfort of his arms.

I can relate.

Let me guess—you can’t contain your excitement about seeing me? I added a heart emoji. It had been too long since we’d seen each other. I knew I was anxious.

No response. He was probably in a meeting.

I held my phone to my chest and closed my eyes, willing myself to go back to sleep. I had almost drifted off when my phone buzzed. I dreamily smiled before I read Tristan’s message.

Kins, I can’t come tomorrow.

My smile instantly vanished. That wasn’t at all the response I’d expected. Why? Has something come up at work?

Minutes went by without a response. I was now wide awake and sitting up in bed, staring at my phone. A feeling of unease crept in. He had been a bit distant the last few weeks, but he was busy. I tried to calm myself. That wasn’t all, though. Even when we talked, something seemed off. I’d asked him about it, but he would just say he was tired. Maybe he hadn’t been telling the truth.

I was probably overreacting, but I got out of bed and, with only my nightshirt on, began to pace the cold wood floor. Finally, he responded.

It’s not work.

I could hardly catch my breath while my heart plummeted. I immediately dialed his number. He picked up on the first ring.

“Hello,” he said lowly in the British accent he’d been seducing me with for the last year.

“Tristan,” my voice begged for him to tell me what was going on.

There was a long pause. I sat on the bed and pulled my knees to my chest, desperate to hang on to something.

“Darling, I didn’t want to do this over the phone, but I know if I come, I’ll change my mind.”

I saw where this was going, and my mouth became so dry, I couldn’t utter a word. I clung to myself while he delivered the blow I knew was coming.

“I think we need to take a step back.”

Of course he did. Why had I expected anything different this time? I’d heard that line before. Along with others: “It’s not you; it’s me.” “You’re a great girl; it’s just not the right time.” Or the most hurtful of them all, and the one that had stuck with me the most: “If I could, I would leave no doubt in your mind how I feel about you.” If he had really wanted to, he would have. He hadn’t even had the decency to get married after delivering that blow. He was another unhappy ending. But I had to focus on the one in front of me now.

“I thought you loved me,” my voice cracked.

“I do . . . I did.”

“Which is it?” I demanded to know.

“Bloody hell, I don’t know.”

Tears began to stream down my face. “If you loved me, there wouldn’t be any question.”

“The long-distance thing is getting old.” He sounded as if he were trying to justify himself. “And . . . well . . . I’m tired of being alone.”

“Is there someone else?” I struggled to ask.

He paused again.

I dropped my phone, then fumbled to pick it up. My blood was rushing so hard, I could hear it in my ears.

“No . . . maybe,” he admitted. “Nothing has happened. I wouldn’t do that to you.”

“I guess that should make me feel better,” I snapped.

“Kinsley,” he sighed, “you’re a beautiful woman, and this past year has been fun. A lot of fun,” he added, like it would make me feel better.

“Fun? That’s all I was to you?” I was absolutely stunned. I thought I meant more to him. Where was the man who would hold me all night and tell me he couldn’t imagine life without me? I should have known better than to believe him. Every man who had come into my life never wanted to stay. I was beginning to wonder if I was defective. What was I doing to turn them all off?

“No. You’re taking this all wrong.”

“Please, tell me how I should be taking it,” I spat out through my shudders.

“Listen, love, I’m sorry. I hope you have a good birthday. Perhaps we can revisit us later down the road when—”

“No.” I wasn’t going to be someone’s second choice again or the sloppy leftovers. It’s all I ever was. “We’re done,” I said as bravely as I possibly could while my heart was shattering.

“If that is what you would like,” he whispered as if this were my idea, and I were breaking his heart instead of the other way around.

No, it wasn’t what I would like. What I would like was a man to love, who would love me back fully and completely. And a family of my own. Sadly, I didn’t think that was ever going to happen. I was destined to be forgotten.

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