Page 15 of Silent Partner (Pine Falls 3)

“Look at yourself—you can’t even stand for me to say his name. What does that tell you?”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” I stammered. I wouldn’t admit what his name did to me. Not to anyone. Not even to myself.

She dropped her hands and let out a heavy breath. “Honey, you need to stop lying to yourself and everyone in this room.” She turned and gave Dani a pointed look. “And you need to quit encouraging her behavior. I don’t know what’s going on in Brant’s life right now, but this madness has to stop.”

Dani pressed her lips together, looking almost as if she were on the verge of tears. “Grandma, please let this be,” she begged. “Brant is . . .”

“Brant is what?” Grandma’s brows raised, challenging her.

“He’s dealing with things,” Dani spluttered. “Things Kinsley shouldn’t be involved in.”

Grandma scoffed and waved her hand around. “That’s up to Kinsley and Brant to decide. As far as I can see, Brant is about done for and needs someone. Why shouldn’t it be Kinsley?”

I raised my hand. “I think I should have a say in that. Besides,” my voice trembled, “he doesn’t want me. He never did. And I love Tristan.” I truly did, which made his rejection more acute.

Grandma put her hands on her hips, as if she were getting ready to give me a good talking-to. I felt as if I were sixteen again and had broken curfew.

“As far as Brant wanting you, let’s just put that one to bed. He does.” Her voice said there would be no arguing with her.

I didn’t out loud, but in my head I was vehemently disagreeing with her. He’d had his chance, but I wasn’t good enough for his world. A world he’d then walked away from, which made me feel like even more of a loser.

Grandma tilted her head. “And I know you love Tristan. You have a big heart. But . . . deep down, you know he wasn’t the right one for you.”

I looked down at the flip-flops completing my sloppy look, uncomfortable with her conjecture. Her Kay-ism was . . . well, let’s just say, for a moment, there was a bit of truth in there. Perhaps I had noticed Tristan enjoyed the party scene and being seen more than I preferred. And that, while he’d professed to be in love with me, he’d never wanted to talk about the future other than the next time we would see each other. However, he had always been kind and attentive whenever we were together. He’d showered me with adoration and pretty words. He had made me feel seen. Yet, despite that, if I was being honest with myself—which I didn’t really want to be right now—some of his actions or inactions had spoken louder than his pretty words. Though I hadn’t wanted to listen because I’d wanted him to be the one. I thought fate had gifted me the chance I’d been hoping and praying for—to have my own family, to not be alone.

However, I needed to face the truth. No one was the right one for me. And P.S., I was getting a kitten.

Chapter Three

My greatest accomplishment for the day was showing up to work with some makeup on and being better dressed than I had been earlier. Not that the makeup helped much. I was sure I would have puffy eyes for days from the lack of sleep and all the crying. And by better dressed I meant I had on my black chef pants and a white shirt. Once I got in the kitchen, I would add the white chef’s coat and toque to complete the sexy ensemble. At least there weren’t any stains on me yet. That would inevitably come as the night wore on. It was the nature of my business.

My business. I sighed as I got out of my car and looked at the back of the red-brick building. So many hopes and dreams lived and died in there. It was becoming the theme of my life. I had thought that earning my bachelor’s degree from culinary school, being apprenticed to one of the top chefs in Denver—really the world—and meeting Giselle and Carter would spell out great things for me. There had been a time when my partners and I were close, and laughter had come frequently and easily for us. But I should have listened to my sisters and never gone into business with them. I had thought our friendship was strong, but it had quickly deteriorated when we started working together.

What did I do to turn people off? Maybe I needed to seek help. I thought I was a good person, but perhaps I was blind to some horrible flaw. Whatever it was, I hoped it didn’t turn off cats, because from here on out, that’s who I was making a life with.

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