A knock on my door startled me.

“Hey, boss lady, are you in there?”

I wiped the errant tear off my cheek and straightened out my blouse. “Yes,” my voice cracked. Dang it. I opened the door anyway, with a big fat fake smile. “Hi, Jai, what’s up?” I said so brightly you would have thought I was a ray of sunshine.

Jai gave me a scrutinizing grimace that said he didn’t buy my chipperness. “I came in here to tease you, wondering if Sheridan Holland was interviewing you to see if you wanted to be the next Mrs. Holland, but I’m guessing that wasn’t it.”

I swallowed down the lump in my throat, and with it went my dream of being a Holland. “No,” I said, determined. “That will never, ever happen.”

Chapter Sixteen

I was exhausted from the long week at work and shutting so many doors. Doors I had fought so hard to keep a smidge open. Killing dreams really took it out of you, but I’d promised Whitney and Gemma an epic sleepover, and I was going to deliver. Who needed sleep anyway? Not that I was sleeping much these days. If I wasn’t catering or at the restaurant late at night prepping food and taking care of all my other duties, like marketing, payroll, and scheduling, I was at home tossing and turning in bed. And if I did manage to fall asleep, I found myself in my parents’ car, rolling and rolling until Brant’s voice would wake me up. I was getting annoyed. Why couldn’t it be my grandparents or my sisters calling my name? I would even take Oscar meowing. Anything but Brant saving me. I didn’t need him to save me from my nightmares, especially when he was a real-life bad dream for me. A reminder that I would always be the consolation prize.

I changed into my pink polka-dot pajamas and put my hair in a messy bun in anticipation of tonight’s festivities. I picked up Oscar and walked down the stairs. I looked at his adorable face, “It’s you and me, buddy; don’t even think about leaving me for one of my nieces. You got that?” He nudged me with his nose, which I took as his solemn vow.

The triple-cheese pizza I’d thrown in the oven filled the house with the heavenly scents of oregano and garlic. That homemade crust was to die for. What was it about the smell of baking bread that made everything a little bit better? I should probably bake a loaf every day, except there weren’t enough hours in the day to run off all those calories. Actually, I hadn’t had time to run at all, so I had taken to doing Zumba videos in the break room at work. Bless YouTube and my favorite Latin instructor. He was muy caliente. Though he would probably leave me for my sister if given the chance. Heck, if I were a man, I would leave myself for her too. So, I could hardly blame Brant. But I did. I blamed him for the spark of hope he had given me.

All hope was gone now. Super depressing, but totally liberating. I mean, now I was free to become the quintessential cat lady and aunt. I’d already decided I was going to be one of those women who, as I aged, no one would feel sorry for. They would say things like how it was a shame she never got married and had children of her own, but she lived life her way. Ugh. Scratch that. That sounded not as wonderful as I’d hoped. Because if I lived life my way, I would get married and have children of my own. I was going to have to think of a new tagline for my life. First, though, I had to build a fort. Ariana had a thing for forts and had instilled a love for them in all of us. When Ariana, Dani, and I had lived together, we had built them and spent many evenings playing games or watching movies on our laptops. I missed those days.

However, there was no time to be sullen tonight.

With the amazing fort done, pizza cooked, a bazillion chocolate cookies baked, and the makings for chocolate shakes in the freezer, I was all set. And tired—so, so tired. It was a good thing there was a knock on the door. I think if I sat down for more than a minute, I might fall asleep.

I picked up my furry friend, and we greeted our first guest, Gemma, who was dressed to slumber party it up in her footsy unicorn pajamas. Next to her stood Dani, who had that pregnancy glow and looked like at least two million bucks in her dark jeans and pink tunic sweater.

Admittedly, I was wary around Dani. I never knew how she was going to behave lately, and I was doing my best not to resent her for being so incredibly perfect. She couldn’t help it. Well, she could, but she was too strong to let life best her, which only made her more perfect.