Page 51 of Silent Partner (Pine Falls 3)

“How do you know? The dreams that matter most take time. Give them the time they need,” she begged. “Regret is much harder to live with than dreams that never come true.”

Wow, did those words slam into me. I stood stunned, not even able to blink. I had never stopped to consider if I would regret letting the dream of Brant go. I wasn’t sure I wanted to contemplate it, because that answer scared me more than anything.

Chapter Thirteen

While I drove over to Ariana and Jonah’s place after work on Sunday, I kept wondering if I should just go home. Ariana was having a pumpkin carving contest. I knew Brant and Sheridan would be there, since Dani and Brock wanted to make an announcement and had asked everyone to come. We all knew what they were going to say. It was more than obvious, but Ariana, Jonah, Grandma, Grandpa, and I had all decided we would pretend to be surprised when they announced they were having a baby. As excited as I was for them, all I had been able to think about for the last few days was what Sheridan had said to me at M&M’S on Main Wednesday afternoon—that I would be a fool to not start believing that maybe Brant did have feelings for me. As tempting as that thought was, it made no sense. He’d gotten engaged and practically ignored me for two years. And he was so wishy-washy with me.

However, did any of that really matter? Wasn’t I supposed to be making better choices? Choices that didn’t include men in the picture, especially men who had already broken my heart. Or was Sheridan right? Would I regret it if I gave up on my dreams of Brant? How she even knew I had dreams of him, I didn’t know, but it was embarrassing. Was I that obvious? And what conversation did she have with Brant that emboldened her to say the things she’d said to me? Most importantly, what was going on with the Hollands? There was this shadow that seemed to shroud them. I’d thought for Brant it was losing Jill, but Sheridan had killed that theory. Illness had also been ruled out. Was it the parents’ separation? Were they finally divorcing? Or perhaps the bad press Brant garnered was getting to all of them. Whatever it was, it was maddening not knowing yet still feeling the darkness of it all.

I had to say, Sheridan’s ire toward the Copeland family had also come as a surprise to me. What did it all mean? Should I even care? I didn’t mean that in a callous way. I did care about the Holland family, obviously—my sister was part of it. I worried, though, about how much my heart could take. I was tired of making stupid mistakes. Yet the way Sheridan talked, she made it sound like I was a fool if I didn’t give Brant a chance. Ugh. I was confused. I only wanted to do the right thing. And it wasn’t like Brant was trying to win me over. Sure, he was saving me from bankruptcy and allowing me to run the restaurant the way I’d always wanted, but he was also keeping me at arm’s length. Yet he made cryptic comments about giving it time and how he never wanted to forget the kiss we’d shared. It was driving me crazy.

My thoughts were running wild, but I somehow made it to Ariana and Jonah’s. They lived in an upper-class neighborhood in Pine Falls, but that didn’t stop Ariana from going overboard on the Halloween decorations. Bales of hay, scarecrows, mums, painted pumpkins, lanterns, and lights filled their porch. Their lawn looked like a graveyard littered with headstones. Ariana was the holiday queen.

It looked like I was the first to arrive, which I was grateful for. I needed a moment with my big sister, especially since I’d felt like Dani had been avoiding me lately. I’d tried to pretend it was because she hadn’t been feeling well and this was Children to Love’s busiest time of the year. But I couldn’t shake the feeling that I had disappointed her by taking Brant up on his offer. Perhaps I had done the wrong thing. Except to see how happy all my employees were, and to feel like myself again at work, somehow made it all worth it. Maybe it even said it was the right thing to do. I didn’t know.

I checked my hair and makeup in the visor mirror before I went in. I hadn’t done my hair and makeup just for tonight. I couldn’t exactly look dowdy at work now that I was the only one in charge. It didn’t mean anything that before I’d left the restaurant, I had put on the designer jeans and sweater Sheridan had bought for me. I was only showing Sheridan how much I appreciated her kindness. It had zero to do with looking good for Brant. That was my story, and I was sticking to it. Kind of like I was sticking to my no men policy. Honestly, I needed help.

---