Page 129 of Always Red (Chasing Red 2)

“Won’t they look for us?”

He shrugged. “I don’t care. I’d rather be here with you.”

I relaxed against him, but something he’d said earlier was bothering me.

“Caleb?”

“Hmm?”

“I get it, you know.”

“What?” he mumbled against my hair.

“About your dad.”

I felt him tense, and then he shrugged. I squeezed his hand to let him know it was okay if he didn’t want to talk about it. I knew how difficult it was to talk about something that affected you so deeply.

He took a deep breath, lifted my hand to his mouth, and kissed it.

“I know you do,” he acknowledged quietly. “He’s never going to change. I’ve accepted it, but that doesn’t make it easier.”

“You still care.”

He didn’t answer right away. But when he did, his voice was gruff. “Yeah. I do. I never told anyone that before. I even have a hard time admitting it to myself. Because…it doesn’t matter, does it? It’s not going to change anything.”

I nodded. “It’s not going to bring him back or bring back what you had before. And that hurts.”

“Yeah. Yeah, exactly. It helps that you get it, Red. I’m glad you’re here with me.”

“Don’t beat yourself up for loving him, Caleb. He’s your dad. He was a big part of your life. Nothing’s going to change that. They say you choose the people you love. I guess most times that’s true, but sometimes, however hard you fight it, there’s no escape from it. It’s like a lifetime punishment.”

I thought about how my mom never stopped loving my dad when she was alive. How I still loved my dad no matter how cruel he was to us, maybe because part of me was still clinging to the happy memories.

“And maybe—even knowing it’s a punishment—we still choose it,” I went on. “I don’t know. What I know is that the pain you feel right now? Eventually it won’t hurt as much because…you learn to live with it. You learn not to let it eat you up or control you.” I kissed his cheek. “I’ll be here for you, Caleb.”

“I love you, Red.”

“I love you.”

I leaned back against him again, and he gathered me close. I listened to his heartbeat, the sound of lapping waves in the lake, the playful dance of the wind in the trees. Even though the night had turned for the worst, it was ending perfectly.

“Can you stay the night?” he asked.

“Yes.”

“Good. I have to go back to Regina on Tuesday, so we have all day tomorrow. I’ll take you wherever you like. We can even look at houses. I’ll call the real estate agent.”

I bit my lip. “I can’t. I want to, but Kar needs me. I told Beth to come visit tomorrow so we can all hang out. It’s a girl’s night.”

“Don’t worry about it.” He kissed my hair. “Can you tell me what happened at the shop? I heard you say there was a fire. Where were you?”

My body tensed. “Kar and I were at the office when we heard shouting at the back,” I started. “We went out to check it when we heard a loud explosion.”

I heard Caleb take a sharp breath, his arms tightening around me. “Are you all right?”

I nodded. “I’m fine, Caleb. Really. Dylan pulled us out right away. The fire trucks came, the police, paramedics. But no one was hurt, thank God. Someone had seen a group of teenagers come out of the shop just before the explosion. They found an empty can of gasoline that they threw somewhere near the shop. The police have witnesses. It won’t be long now until the people who did it are caught.”

“I’m just glad you weren’t hurt.” He sighed deeply. “Or anyone. That’s why you were late. I never… You should have called me.” He paused. “I can’t believe after you went through all that, you still came here. And I-I didn’t make it easy for you. I’m so sorry. I hope they catch those bastards,” he said heatedly. “Insurance will cover most of the damages, but they’re going to lose a lot of business while repairs are being done. They might need help. I’ll see what I can do.”

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