Page 2 of Love Me 2

“Are you fuckin’ crazy, little girl? Do you not remember that a few months ago you were laid up in a fuckin cold ass bed getting a baby sucked out of you from this same man who probably doesn’t give two fucks about you? Look at what you did! Your selfish, hard headed ways caused my five-year-old baby to get shot! That’s my fuckin’ baby back there, Journey! Get the fuck off me! Get off meeeee!” I cried.

There were so many people holding me down and trying to make sure I didn’t go after Journey again, and that wasn’t doing anything but making me even angrier. No matter how much I screamed and cried for them to let me go, they wouldn’t. In the end, the only thing that got me to calm down in the least was Jada. She’d never seen me behave like that before, and because of that, she was hysterical and yelling for me to stop. It took a lot of convincing, but I was finally able to calm myself down.

Once I was calm, they released me. I didn’t care to sit on one of those hard ass chairs, so I stood up instead. I paced the room, and in seconds, I could detected the scent of an all too familiar cologne. I’d been smelling that exact cologne for years, so I already knew who it belonged to. He walked in, and the first thing I noticed was how much his eyes matched mine and everyone else’s in the room. That wasn’t the only thing I noticed about him either. The same way I wasn’t wearing my wedding band anymore, he wasn’t wearing his either. He thought he was slick by wearing this hoodie to try and hide the big hickie that was on his neck, but it was too late.

My anger toward the entire situation overpowered any ill feelings I had toward Jerrod, so I didn’t even bother to waste my breath and say anything to him. As if me and no one else in the room existed, he walked in and took a seat all the way in the back without saying a word. For almost two hours, nothing was said in the waiting room between any of us. The only sound that could be heard was Journey’s constant sniffling and the sound that my slides made from me continuing to pace the room.

“Is this the family of Jaden Evans?” a doctor finally walked in and said. He must have been fresh out of surgery because he was still in his green scrubs.

The doctor was

an older white male, probably in his late fifties, and I was trying to read him and his body language. Anyone could tell that he was stressed, but that wasn’t what I was worried about. I was too busy trying to read him. I wanted to somehow be able to predict the type of news that he was going to tell me and my family. He was the golden ticket right now because he had all the answers. At this moment, I was looking up to Him, pretty much similar to the way that I knew that I was going to look up at God when judgement day finally came.

“First, let me say the surgery was a success. Jaden sustained a bullet wound that fractured a rib and punctured his lung, which is a common injury with gunshot wounds to the chest. Luckily, we were able to remove the bullet, but not so luckily for little Jerrod because his little body will be in an extreme amount of pain. It could have been worse because his injuries could have been fatal. Sometimes, you’re more likely to survive twenty bullets than you are to survive one. He’s still sedated due to the medications that were given to him for pain, but when he does wake up, make sure to let him know how strong he is. He withstood something that not a lot of people can withstand,” the doctor said.

Before he walked away, he placed his hand on my shoulder, just showing me a little bit of compassion, and then he left. Since Jerrod and I were his parents and they were only allowing two people at a time to see Jaden, it was only right that we went first. As if we were complete strangers, he walked on one side, and I walked on the other. Nothing was said. I didn’t care that he wasn’t talking to me because the only thing that mattered was making it to the back, so I could see our son.

Although we were given good news and were informed that Jaden was going to be okay, I was still very emotional when I walked into the room and saw him lying in the hospital bed. My baby wasn’t supposed to be lying there with all types of machines hooked up to his little body. The front part of his hospital gown was open, so I could see his chest, which was all bandaged up from the surgery that he’d just had. I walked on one side of the bed while Jerrod stayed on the other. I ran my hands through his hair and bent down then kissed him on his little lips, just happy to see that he was breathing.

“I know I made threats in the past, but after tonight, this shit isn’t a threat anymore. I’m coming for all three of my fuckin’ kids. You have my kids in the fuckin’ projects like they don’t have a fuckin’ mansion on the other side of fuckin’ town! My kids shouldn’t have to be exposed to no shit like this, Takari! For years, I tried to respect the fact that the kids would have to go to the projects sometimes because at the end of the day, that’s where their grandmother stays, but fuck that! My fuckin’ son could have died last night, and what the fuck was I supposed to do from there? And where the fuck were you when all of this happened? Sit your ass the fuck down sometimes. You want to be everywhere except for somewhere with your fuckin kids!” this bastard had the nerve to say.

We were both angry, I get that, but he wasn’t about to stand there and point fingers at me. I had let this man disrespect me time and time again over the years, and I always felt like I wasn’t defending myself as much as I should have.

“You know what, Jerrod? Fuck you! Please come for all three of your kids because I’m so sick and fuckin’ tired of you throwing that bullshit in my fuckin’ face! In the beginning, I had every right to be worried about you trying to take the kids from me because I had nothing to prove financially that I could take care of them, but I do now. I have a fuckin’ job now, where I’m making a little over six figures, which probably isn’t shit to you, but it’s way more than enough for me and my damn kids! Call your lawyer, do whatever the fuck you have to do, but I’ll die before I hear a judge grant full custody to your ass!

“You want to walk your ass up in here pointing fingers when I didn’t have shit to do with this! I was out of town for work, trying to secure a fuckin’ bag for me and mine, while you were probably somewhere laid up fuckin God knows who because those hickies on your neck expose your truth. At the end of the day, you and I don’t have shit to discuss. Sign over the damn divorce papers that I sent your way and just leave me the fuck alone!” I snapped.

After I finished saying what I needed to say to him, my eyes left his, and I placed them back on my son because he was what all my attention should have been on in the first place. I could feel Jerrod’s movement in the room. He moved himself from where he was standing, and I just assumed that he was getting ready to walk out of the room, but he didn’t. He actually came behind me, and he was so close that the heat from his body radiated onto mine. I tried to push his ass off me because the last thing I wanted was for him to be touching me, but he placed his hands on my waist and squeezed. He squeezed the bones on my waist for dear life, and when I was about to scream from the pain, he removed one of his hands and placed it over my mouth, preventing me from saying anything.

“I think you forgot I told you a few months ago that I own your pretty ass! You not going no fuckin’ where, and I’m not signing no fuckin’ papers for no damn divorce! I wish you would get that shit through your thick ass head. We done played this fuckin’ game long enough, Takari. It’s time for you to bring your ass the fuck home. You can come willingly, or you can get your ass dragged back to that house. Either way, you coming the fuck home! You damn right I was fuckin’ another bitch too! Her pussy not as good as yours, but it’ll do until you find your sense and start fuckin’ me again. I may not be like the hood niggas that stay over there where your mama stays, but I can be crazy. Don’t tempt me,” he said with his mouth so close to my ear that the hairs on my back stood up when he talked.

I smelled a little bit of liquor on his breath when he talked, so I didn’t know if this was him talking or the drugs. Jerrod could make all the threats he wanted to make against me, but there was nothing in this fuckin’ world that would make me step foot back into that home. I needed to purchase a gun for my protection. I could feel that it was going to get crazy between the two of us. When he described himself as crazy, I believed him. That part wasn’t the alcohol speaking. It was all of him for sure.

2

Journey Evans

My mom didn’t have to tell me she hated me because her actions proved that she did. I felt like I just didn’t exist to her anymore. The night Jaden was brought to the hospital she made it known that she didn’t want me coming back to her house when it was time for everyone to go home. She didn’t want me to go to my grandmother’s house either, so, for the past two days, I’ve been staying at my auntie Sky’s house, which felt like what I assumed boot camp would be like if I were to ever have to go there.

Even if I wanted to sneak out the house for anything, I wouldn’t be able to because auntie Sky had made it to where I didn’t have any type of freedom. She even went so far as to take the door off the room that I was sleeping in. Her house had all types of cameras and security systems, so I honestly couldn’t do a damn thing to escape.

When she would occasionally let me use her phone to call my mom, my mom would always be so dry to me, as if she didn’t want to talk to me. That right there hurt me more than the physical pain of her fighting me days ago in the waiting room of the hospital. No one wanted to feel as if their mother didn’t love them anymore. Not only did I feel that way, but I also knew she blamed me for what happened to Jaden.

I didn’t want to sound selfish, but I didn’t feel that I was entirely to blame. My little brother was old enough to know that where my grandmother stayed wasn’t a place where he should be outside at night because my mom preached that to us all the time. He should have known that he wasn’t supposed to come outside, especially that late at night. That part was his blame. My blame was that I should have made sure his little ass was really asleep before I planned my escape, or I shouldn’t have left the apartment in the first place, and then none of this would have happened.

It’s just that when it came to Raheem, I lost every bit of sense that God blessed me with. Being in a secret relationship with him had me having unprotected sex and having to get an abortion at thirteen years old. Not only that, but it put a big gap in the relationship with my mother because ever since then, she didn’t trust me anymore. Even after all the shit that I’d been through as a consequence of being with Raheem, my stupid ass still entertained him.

After the night my little brother was shot, I can honestly say that I am officially done with Raheem. He showed me so many sides of him that night which made me lose total respect and love for him. For example, had my brother not come outside when he did, I know for a fact that my face probably would have matched the way it looked a few months ago when he’d hit me for the first time. Then, he was so disrespectful to Jaden, calling him names, cursing at him, and he even threatened to beat him with a belt. As if it couldn’t get any worse than what he’d already done, he had the nerve to take off running the moment the shots rang out. He didn’t bother to use his body as a shield for mine just to make sure that I was okay or anything. He was only looking out for himself, and those actions right there spoke volumes to me.

“Get dressed. We’re about to go to the hospital to see your brother,” Auntie Sky said when she walked into the bedroom that I was in.

I was lying on my stomach with an English book on the bed from school pretending to be studying. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to study, but I had so much on my mind that it was hard to focus on the book. Since the shooting, I hadn’t been the same. I can’t even remember the last time I had a good night’s sleep or had even eaten anything for that matter. There were so many what ifs going through my mind, but the biggest what if was what if Jaden had died that night? I couldn’t seem to let that one go.

“Can I stay here? I don’t want to go to the hospital. I don’t like seeing him like that,” I said, looking up at her with nothing but sadness in my eyes.

Since my brother had been in the hospital, we’ve pretty much made it a routine of going to see him just about everyday and today, was the first time that I had actually voiced out loud my feelings of not wanting to see him. Whenever I saw his little body laid up in that bed, hooked up to those machines, it did nothing but make me feel guilty. When I wou

ld come inside the room and my family was there, I felt like they all were looking at me with accusing eyes, especially my mother. Jaden would be asleep the majority of the time that we were there, but I knew that if he would have been up, he would have probably been looking at me with those same eyes. I was literally the last person he saw before he was shot, so how could he not blame me for this?

---