Page 20 of Down With the King of the South 2

Jabari Brooks

A week later, and here we were. Although it’s what I wanted to do, that didn’t mean I was okay with doing this shit. I didn’t want to face this shit. I knew Mahogany didn’t want to either. I didn’t speak on it, but I heard her this morning crying in the bathroom when she was getting ready. I honestly didn’t know if Mahogany wanted to get the abortion or not because I hadn’t asked her. I was going off what she told me months ago, and months ago, she said that she didn’t want any children.

A fly inside this car wouldn’t be able to run back and tell shit because there was no talking. The radio played softly in the background, but I doubt either of us was paying it any attention. The whole drive to the clinic, I stole little glances at Mahogany here and there. Her face was emotionless. She wore some tights with a black hoodie. Her full, curly hair was pulled back into a big ass ponytail, and one of her legs was pulled up in the seat as her other one rested on the floor. I could feel her nerves all the way from where I was sitting. It’s like I didn’t even exist to her because since she woke up this morning, she hadn’t said shit to my ass.

The next morning after we found out that she was pregnant, and I told her to move in, shorty did the complete opposite. I’d left out that morning to go to the gym, and when I got back, her as was gone, and all of her shit was gone too. Shorty was so motha fuckin’ petty that she even took all her soaps and shit out of the bathroom, her little house shoes that she kept in my room, and the snacks that she had in my pantry.

I didn’t know how to chase behind no woman, so I didn’t. I hadn’t seen Mahogany since the day we found out about the pregnancy. We went to bed with each other that night, I left her in the bed sleeping the next morning, and when I got back, she was gone. I’ll tell you this. Since she left, I ain’t really been fee

ling the same. I didn’t have an appetite for shit, and after I went to work, I brought my ass straight home. I hadn’t been to the strip club in about three weeks.

Almost ten minutes later, we pulled into the plaza where the clinic was. We were about thirty minutes early, so we didn’t get out right away. I parked the car right in front of the suite that we would go into. The windows were rolled down, so we could pretty much hear everything outside.

A kid’s boutique was next door to the clinic, and we watched as a Hispanic looking mother come out of the store with her two children. She had two girls. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it, but the oldest daughter looked as if she was about eight, and the younger one was maybe four or five. The mother had the bag from the store on her shoulder while she held onto each of their hands. Nothing really out of the ordinary was going on with them, but for whatever reason, it held both of our attention because Mahogany was looking as well.

“I can’t wait to wear my new dress to the birthday party tomorrow. Thank you, Mommy. I love you so much,” I heard the older daughter say as her mom helped her get in the car.

Their car was literally parked so close to ours that we were able to hear their entire conversation.

“I love you too, baby girl,” I heard the mom say.

“Me too, Mommy? What about me?” the youngest daughter asked.

“Of course, you too,” the mother went on to say.

I don’t know why, but that shit warmed the fuck out of my heart. It was beautiful. The moment the three of them were inside the car, and they pulled off, Mahogany quickly got out, making sure to slam the door in the process. Stupid shit like that made me want to get out of the car, chase her stupid ass, and choke her out. Because I didn’t go around putting my hands on women, I sat in the car for a few minutes and counted to ten, forward and backward. It was a little technique that I’d learned years ago in high school when my teacher thought that I needed to take anger management.

That shit kind of just stuck. It had kept me from going to jail a few times. I finally got out of the car, and when I walked inside, there was a handful of people in the waiting room. I scanned the room until my eyes fell on Mahogany. She was sitting in the back, filling out papers. Her head was down, so she didn’t even know that I was in there.

I took a seat in the empty chair that was next to her. The nigga in me wanted to get on her ass for slamming my car door like that, but I figured it wasn’t the time to do that shit. Maybe in a few more days, I would say something about it.

I let about five minutes go by before I finally said something to her.

“You straight?” I asked.

It wasn’t even surprising that she ignored my question. I noticed that her hands were shaking as she filled out the information. Then, a tear had fallen onto the paper. She used the sleeve of her sweater to wipe her face. Eventually, she dropped the pen and started crying.

“I… I… don’t want to do this, Jabariii,” she cried.

It pulled at my heartstrings to hear her cry like that. For about two minutes, I didn’t do shit. I just sat there. The more I sat here, not doing anything, the more her ass sobbed. Everybody in the fuckin’ room was looking at us.

“You don’t gotta do it then! Come on,” I said and took the paperwork from her lap.

I reached out to help her stand up. When I walked over to the receptionist desk, I threw the clipboard on the counter with the paperwork halfway filled out.

“We changed our mind. Thank you,” I said, and just like that, we walked out of the clinic together.

I helped her into the car, but I didn’t get in right away. I went over to the back of the car, pressed against it, and when I was sure, I mean very sure that no one was looking, I shed a tear. Mahogany changing her mind and deciding that she wanted to keep this baby was going to change the rest of my life. I wasn’t scared of shit, but being a daddy scared the fuck out of me. What if I failed him or her? What if I wasn’t good enough, man?

Growing up, I used to always say shit like I wished that Miami’s ole boy was my dad because I loved the fact that his pops was actually there for him. I ain’t ever want my child to have thoughts like that. Mahogany thought that I was just being like every other nigga in the world and trying to get rid of my responsibilities by making her kill our seed, but that wasn’t the case at all. I swear I was scared.

About five minutes later, I heard her open the car door. Her face was still red, but she was no longer crying. She walked over to me, wrapped her arms around my neck, and buried her face in my chest. My hands were on her lower back, and I was holding onto her tight as hell.

“I’m scared too, Jabari. I don’t want to kill our child, though. I’m sorry,” she let me know.

“Don’t apologize for shit. I shouldn’t have even asked you to do some foul shit like that, to begin with. We going to take some parenting classes or something, shorty. I don’t even know where to fuckin’ begin, man,” I let her know.

She lifted her head and looked at me with those pretty ass eyes. Shorty was beautiful. My daughter had to look just like her, down to the freckles on her face, that sandy brown, curly hair, and those beautiful eyes that got her just about anything she wanted from me. I looked at her, and all I could do was shake my head because like I told her when we found out that she was pregnant, her ass had me. I was deep into this shit with her.

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