Page 79 of Lost in You (The Monroes 3)

Silence settled into the room as he wiped off the island, then sprinkled a light coating of flour onto the surface so he could roll and cut the cinnamon rolls.

“Her name is Lucy. She’s precious.” As she talked Macy flattened her palms on the counter in front of where he was working. Her eyes focused down on the dough he worked. “She clutched that dog and just kept saying ‘Mom.’”

Liam’s heart ached for that little girl. He’d been young when his mother died, but not that young.

“And all I could think of was how you must’ve felt,” she went on. “Lucy’s mom was single, no siblings. There’s a grandmother who lives in Texas, but she hasn’t had contact with Lucy since she was born. She has no one, Liam.”

Macy pulled in a shaky breath. “Lucy’s mom was killed in a car accident on her way home from a job interview while Lucy was at the neighbor’s house.”

Liam froze. His hands gripped the dough, his heart clenched. That feeling of isolation, of abandonment, came rushing back. The crippling emotions were always hovering, ready to surface at a moment’s notice.

Liam knew this little girl was young enough to move past the pain because she didn’t fully understand, but at the same time, she’d always feel that void, the heartache.

He attempted to roll the dough again, trying to stay strong for Macy, for Lucy.

“You don’t have to do all this,” Macy added. “Just you staying here was enough. And helping with the party. I just couldn’t be alone after I got her, and I needed you and—”

“It’s okay.” He quickly smoothed the dough and lathered on the cinnamon filling before making a roll to slice. “I want to be here. You can lean on me anytime.”

“Do you mean that?” she whispered.

He risked a quick look in her direction and was met with her bright blue eyes. She wanted answers. Hell, she deserved answers.

“Is now the time to get into this?” he asked. “We’re both pretty raw. Let’s just get through this next week with your party and the wedding.”

Macy shifted in her seat. “If you know when you’re leaving, then just say it. I don’t want you here out of obligation, or even pity.”

Damn it. He hadn’t meant to start an argument or hurt her even more, but at the same time, he knew if they started this entire conversation, more hurtful things could be said. He wasn’t ready to commit to anything, and wasn’t offering promises he couldn’t fulfill.

“I’m not here out of pity.”

He concentrated on placing the rolls on the pan, then switched out the bites in the oven for the pastries. When he turned back to face her, he propped his hands on his hips and shook his head. Looks like they were getting into this after all.

“I’m here because we’re friends.”

Macy laughed. “Right. Friends until you leave. But we’ve pushed the friendship boundary, don’t you think? And I’m not just talking sex.”

This is why he never did relationships. He had no idea how to communicate without sounding like a complete bastard. Rubbing the back of his neck, Liam struggled to pull words together in some pathetic attempt to smooth this issue out.

The only way to get her to understand was to come completely clean with a past that humiliated and shamed him. “After my mother died I was sent to a foster home where I was beaten.” When his eyes widened, her mouth dropped. He pushed on. He had to get this out, to make her realize exactly why getting too close terrified him. “Not by the parents, though they were enablers and just as guilty. Their son decided I was an easy target, and at the time, I was.”

Macy sat forward, her hands covering her face, elbows on the bar. “Please. Don’t do this to yourself.”

“I’m doing it for you.” He came around the island, leaned against the edge, and pried her hands away from her face. “We all have our own levels of hell, Macy. You want to understand why I can’t give you everything you want?”

With his fingers around her wrists, she fisted her hands and kept her eyes focused on him. Liam didn’t let go, didn’t give her a chance to turn away again.

“I learned to fight back,” he went on, recalling the first time he’d had to defend himself. “I was punished and sent to my room for hitting their precious son. But that didn’t stop me. I wasn’t about to be a victim again. I was there for too long, long enough to become hardened, cold. By the time the Monroes adopted me, I was pretty bitter.”

“And you were put into a house with three other kids, two being boys.”

Liam nodded. “Exactly. Zach and I just didn’t hit it off to begin with. We were both so angry and it was easy to take it out on each other. Braxton and Chelsea always attempted to bridge the divide, but rarely did that work. It was best that Zach and I stayed in our separate corners.”

Liam hadn’t recognized the fact that Zach was hurting just as much, but they’d been kids, and like most preteens and teens, they’d been self-absorbed.

“Then when our parents passed, it was just the four of us. Zach and I attempted to be civil, then the accident happened.” The accident that left him scarred, Sophie with a limp, and Zach in prison for a year. “Life had dealt blow after blow and I was done. So to take control, I just left. I pushed everyone aside and got the hell out of Haven. This town, just being here, reminds me of everything I’ve ever had taken away.”

Macy chewed on her bottom lip, the habit he knew she did when her nerves kicked in. Slowly, he released her wrists, but didn’t step back.

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