Page 78 of Release (Symbols of Love 3)

"Who, Aiden?" Dean asks.

"Yeah, him, " I return and try to keep the jealousy that's eating me alive out of my voice.

"No, he's just a friend from college, at least according to Milly. He lives in Wales with his girlfriend. He's just down for the weekend to see Lilly and keep her company during the wedding."

Relief, washes over me, loosening the knot in my stomach and the ache in my chest that I hadn't let myself acknowledge. And then, it’s back again.

"Let's do it. She's beautiful. Those sisters won the genetic lottery, man." Simon says again.

"Well, that would be a great idea except...I don't know man. She's nearly impossible to get to know," Dean says.

I almost say, “tell me about it.” But I catch myself. "How so?" I ask casually, but I shove my hands deeper into my pockets to keep myself from shaking Dean when he takes more than a few minutes to respond.

"Well... Even though she’s not around, they all rely on her to be the one who holds it together. Sort of the binding of a book, invisible but vital,” Dean mutters and then laughs to himself like he's impressed by his own joke.

"What the fuck does that mean?" Louis asks before I can.

Simon chimes in, “He means that she's always there for everyone. Like when the family is flipping out because something crazy is going down, she stays calm and she holds their hands while they freak out and then is ready with a smile when they are. Addie says she feels like she doesn't really know Lilly. At least not the way she knows Milly, but it's almost as if Lilly wants it that way."

“She's a total mystery. Milly said something happened and none of them know what. They always spent Christmas in Maryland. Her mother invited all of the people who didn't have families locally and weren't able to go home to join them. It was a tradition. And then one year Lilly left without saying goodbye and didn't come home for five years. She refused to say why. But she’s had “plans” every Christmas since. These planned family vacations are the only time they see her.” He shrugs and the dismissiveness way they’re all talking about this pisses me off.

"And none of them have bothered to ask her what the hell happened? Seems a little callous." I ask, my shock showing.

"You don't know the family's history, man." Simon's voice tinged with a defen

sive tone. "The last couple of years have been a rollercoaster. Addie said Lilly always seemed fine, but Addie wasn't home much either so, I don't think she thought much of Lilly ghosting."

"She didn't think much of her sister's sudden refusal to come home? And I know some of their history, thanks.” I say and rush on before they can ask me how. “Most of it had to do with their dad being gone. But their mom was around, what did she do?"

"Harry. Relax.” Simon puts his hands up as if to ward of an attack.

“I’m relaxed,” I snap.

“Yeah, you look really relaxed.” Louis, punches me lightly in the arm,“You don’t even know her.”

“He’s been staring at her like he knows her.” Simon mutters.

“Fuck off. I have not.” I growl him.

“Fellas, lay off,” Dean interjects. "We’ve all had too much to drink and I’m not up for breaking up any fights.”

“Who’s fighting?” Louis, hooks an arm around Simon’s neck and gives him a mock jab in the gut.

They laugh and I join in. But, really my outburst pisses me off. I’m agitated as fuck. I don’t know what to do about Lilly. I can’t ignore it though. She apologized tonight and I could hear the real regret in her voice.

Dean pats me on the shoulder as we all start walking again. We fall into a companionable silence and Simon and Louis outpace us, and soon Dean and I are walking alone.

The sounds of the country keep up company. I listen to the chirping of the chickadee, each inhale is heavy with the aroma of tree sap, aspen and poplar leaves. The crunch of the dense but light layer of snow crunching under our feet.

"She did a number on you, huh?" He says empathetically.

"Who?" I stop and look at him. Did he guess about me and Lilly?

“Is it the girl you were with tonight?” His breath comes out in huge white puffs and the dark, moonless night creates a stark contrast.

“God, no. I regret inviting her.” I shake my head vehemently. And just to be absolutely clear, I say it again. “It’s not her.”

"Oh, shit. That's the worst.” He groans. “Well, take it from a man who wasted more years than I care to think about away from the woman I knew was meant for me.” He sighs loudly, as if the memory still makes him hurt. “Go after her." He says solemnly.

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