Page 106 of Release (Symbols of Love 3)

Her voice is steady as she speaks, “There are days I regret everything. But, I know I did the right thing for me and for her. I wasn’t prepared, mentally or emotionally, to be her mother. Not the mother she needed. It was my first lesson in unconditional love, Harry. I did what I thought would be best for her.” She shivers and presses her lips together on a hard swallow.

“I’ll never stop missing her. I can’t help but love her, a piece of my heart will always be hers. I hope you can understand that.” I can hear the fear in her voice — the concern that maybe I won’t. But, she’s not letting that prevent her from speaking her truth.

She gives me a small smile and my heart skips a beat. She’s amazing. I smile back and say what I came to say.

“I’m proud of you. And of course I understand. I understood then and I shouldn’t have given you that ultimatum.” My thumb brushes the tiny beauty mark under her eye and I see some of the tension leave her body.

“I should have told you… I would do anything for you.” I press a kiss to the tip of her nose. The corners of her mouth turn up in a smile and I press forward.

“I should have said that I would stand beside you so that you didn’t have to face anything alone. That I would sooner die than see you hurt. I won’t ever forgive myself for not telling you that. You didn’t owe anyone that story. I wanted to say so many things, babe.” I let my fingers trace the shell of her ear. I cup her jaw and look into her remarkable eyes.

“Knowing everything, only confirmed what I already knew. You’re strong. Selfless in a way that I can’t comprehend. I know it hasn’t been very long, but the way I feel about you – it feels better than anything else I’ve ever known. Even when I’m miserable and pissed, there’s a part of me that’s always so damn happy…” I stroke her bottom lip when it starts to quiver. “Because I’ve known you at all. No matter what happens between us, there’s a part of me that only you own, that is irretrievably yours,” I whisper. My heart is in my throat, in my words, in my eyes, and in her hands.

A tear rolls down her cheek. I brush it away with my thumb and rub my lips, moistening them with the essence of her.

“I didn’t even know having my mind blown was possible until I met you. And every time I think about you, every time, it happens. I can’t believe my luck. That you decided I was worthy of your trust, your love, your grace.” My voice is strained, the words struggling to escape my tight, dry throat.

She blinks, her eyelashes fluttering as they shadow her high cheekbone. When she looks back at me, her tears are gone. Her teeth bite into her lower lip and her gaze is contemplative. She licks her lips and says quietly, “Harry, I—” I’m afraid of what she’s going to say so, I cut her off. I let go of her face and grasp both of her hands.

“I know that we have stuff to work out. But, I’m going to do whatever it takes to turn things around.” I can see she wants to respond, but, I’m desperate for her to hear everything. “I know I let you down. I know I hurt you. That I wasn’t there when I should have been. But I swear to

God, Lilly, that won’t happen again. Please, give me another chance. Let me prove I can take care of your heart,” I grin at her and add, trying to lighten the mood and hoping to remind her… “Even better than I take care of your body.”

She pulls close to me and we wrap our arms around each other.

“Oh, my love. You’ve already shown me.” She cries into my shoulder. “No one has ever taken care of me the way you have. And I’m so happy you’re here.” She presses a kiss to my shoulder tucks her face into my neck. Her breath tickles my throat and when she whispers, “I don’t want to be apart again.”

“No baby, we won’t. We may have our issues, our families have shit to work out.” We groan as we think of our siblings. And then, I get to the part I’ve been dreading, but also looking forward to.

“I want to know everything you want to tell me. I know you’re just getting settled here and I can stay as long as you need me to. I’ve taken some time off and Louis’ home helping my dad until I get back. But I am praying like a motherfucker that when I have to leave, I can persuade you to come home with me,” I say and she jerks in my lap.

I pull back to look at her. “Not right away if you’re not ready, but that’s what I want.” I tell her, my eyes firm, my voice steady, my heart beating calmly even after being laid bare. I know that when it comes to her, I have nothing to fear. My heart is in excellent hands. Our love is effortless. Our feelings don’t need divining or translation. We found each other. Everything else, all the drama and the logistics, are just details.

“It’s what I want too. So much. Because, Harry wherever I am, wherever I go - if you’re there, it feels like home. Your heart is my home.”

Her face softens, “I just ask this. Please, be patient with me. I’m not one hundred percent there yet. I’m in therapy, it’s online but I have two sessions every week. I’m going to stumble…I don’t want you to be sorry you chose me.” She says, her eyes glistening.

I stare into her eyes and I can see forever. I brush the unruly mass of silky curls off her face and press a kiss to her forehead. I give myself a minute to savor the way she feels pressed up against me. Her body still clothed, while mine is naked. The way she smells, the cadence of her breaths and heat of her skin.

“I love you.” She kisses me, a soft lingering kiss and she melts into me as the rest of the tension leaves her body. When we pull away, I cup her jaw, tracing the soft underside with my thumb.

“If you stumble, I stumble with you and we will catch each other.” As I talk a smile starts to spread across her face and by the time I’m done it’s dazzling. My heart trips and my lungs squeeze as I take in the living miracle that somehow fell in love with me.

“I’m so happy. I’m smiling in every cell of my body.” She says and I smile at her in return.

“Yeah Lilly, that’s what it looks like too.” She laughs and throws her arms around my neck and press lips to her ear, her hair tickling my nose and I whisper, “And baby when you smile that smile…”

“Tell me,” she says, nudging me slightly with her hips, when I don’t continue.

“Mind blown.”

Epilogue

Two Years Later

Cape Coast, Ghana

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