Page 82 of Remember (Symbols of Love 2)

Like a key made to fit the lock on the door to my anger, her words slide in and set it free.

“You have lost your fucking mind. To waltz in here after you stole from me, lied to me, and tried to blackmail me.”

My mother gasps. I look at her. “And you have no idea what you’re talking about. The only terrorist I’ve ever met is standing right next to you. You’ve never pretended to care about what might be best for me. But this is low, even for you. I know what you told Milly when she called me after my father died. I know you decided not to tell me she’d called even when you knew I was distraught without her. You—”

“Dean, please.” Milly’s voice cuts into my tirade. And I stop to look at her.

She's looking at my mother

and Nicola, her smile is positively lethal.

“Nicole,” she says sweetly. And I have to stifle a laugh at her deliberate use of the wrong name. “I completely understand you being crazed because you’ve lost your chance with Dean. It must be what it feels like to have a winning ticket to the lottery and having the wind blow it out of your hands.”

She winks at me and this time a bark of laughter escapes me. She looks back at Nicola.

“But, you don’t know anything about him. Or me. I'm guessing what you are insinuating with your stupid comment about him dating the help is that I’m black and an Arab, right?” She raises her eyebrows at Nicola, her smile almost conspiratorial.

“Well, guess what? Dean knows that. He’s always known that, and he has also always wanted me. That kind of thing only matters to fools who know they have nothing to offer but their looks.” She shakes her head in what looks like genuine pity. “I’m really sorry for you.”

And then she turns to my mother. “You gave birth to this magnificent human being. And somehow, despite your best efforts, he's a loving, hard-working, and generous person. You don’t get to swoop into his life and try to destroy everything he holds dear just because you’re bored. You are his mother. I was raised to respect my elders, so I’m not going to say everything I want to. Just this.” She steps back to my side and wraps her arm around me. “I will not let you hurt Dean again. He's your son. And instead of supporting him, you’ve manipulated him and lied to him. Instead of helping him chase his happiness, you’ve tried to drive it away. No more. I’m not a young, vulnerable eighteen-year-old anymore who can be run off by some harshly spoken words. You can’t separate us. Not with insults. Not with threats. Not with manufactured guilt.”

She smiles up at me, her eyes shining with tears, and one escapes to run down her cheek. My finger brushes it away. She leans forward and puts a soft kiss on my lips.

She looks back at my mother, her eyes glitter with anger and her smile disappears. And even though Milly doesn’t move, my mother takes a step back. “You should leave. Don’t make a scene, just go. Both of you. Now.”

My mother looks at me, her eyes full of apathy. “You’ve always been your father’s son. I was trying to help you. Marriage isn't about love and devotion. Ask her mother where that got her.” She tips her chin at Milly. “It’s your life. I’m leaving for Marseille in three days. I’ll be gone for the rest of the summer. I’ll call you when I get back.”

She looks at Nicola and shrugs. “I tried. But clearly, you’ve lost this one. Have some pride and let’s go.”

She turns and walks out of the room without another word. Nicola looks at me for a second, starts to speak, but then she turns away and follows my mother out of the room.

Milly turns her body into mine and pulls me into a tight hug, her shoulders are shaking. When I pull her face back I see she's crying.

“Dean, I’m so sorry . . .” She sobs, her eyes mournful. I’m taken aback.

“Why are you apologizing?”

“Because you don’t deserve any of this. You should have nothing but love. I'm sorry I’ve always been a source of tension between you and your mother.”

I grab her chin and force her to look me in the eyes.

“Listen to me because I want you to understand me.” I wait for her to nod before I continue.

“I’ve been alone most of my life. Until I met you in high school, everyone always looked at me and saw this big athletic guy with blond hair, good at sports, solid academically. I had a car sophomore year. I lived in a big house. Everyone always thought those things were who I am. Even my parents, they were proud of all of the things I accomplished. That’s all they talked to me about. It was really hard to know that the things which made them proud really had nothing to do with who I was. They didn’t care that I was someone who defended people from bullies. They had no clue I hated cheese or that my childhood best friend moved away in the middle of our freshman year of high school. Or that I was so lonely, I used to have to force myself to go to school, every single day.

“The people at school just thought I was some big, rich jock who had girls throwing themselves at him. None of them knew I had debilitating anxiety which made all the attention I got from excelling at the things I enjoyed doing my biggest nightmare. And then I met you. And suddenly someone was asking me questions about myself rather than asking me for favors. You treated me like I was a person.

“When you found me at seventeen years old in my lacrosse uniform, crying in my car because my mother had given my dog away, you didn’t even bat an eye. You sat down next to me, put your arm around me, and let me cry. And then you told me you loved me. You were my first true friend. You were the first person who noticed how miserable I was from the attention and made yourself my body guard.”

She giggles a little. “Well, that’s my strength, or my talent, anyway.”

I glance at her, happy for the moment of levity.

“What’s that, Red?” I ask, already knowing what she will say.

“I’m a great judge of character and I have the courage of my convictions,” she says with a grin. And that’s exactly right. I kiss her quickly and then continue.

“And Milly, I’ve loved you desperately since then. You’ve always been the only person who has tried to look beyond the exterior. The only person who has never wanted more from me other than my time.” I grin at her.

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