Page 76 of Rise (Symbols of Love 1)

“That girl?” I repeat slowly as I feel my ire rise. Mercy is oblivious of my tone.

“She was no good, Simon. Listen, I didn’t protect you from your mother, but I’ll be damned if I let it happen twice.” She starts to unload the groceries as she speaks.

“I couldn’t believe it when she showed up here looking like she was the one who was hurt.”

My brain registers the words she speaks and my body reacts before I can really process it. I am up and across the room in the kitchen in an instant.

“What do you mean she showed up here?”

“Calm down. Don’t worry, I sent her away.”

I try. I try so hard to take a calming breath. I remind myself this woman has been like a mother to me.

I bite out. “Mercy. When was this?”

When she hears my tone, she stops her unloading and looks at me. Her eyes worried and scared. Her hands are wringing nervously in front of her as she watches me cautiously before she speaks.

“The day after you got back from Paris.” The last word in her sentence is almost a squeak.

“What?” I shout. I can’t control my temper at this point. “And you didn’t think to tell me?”

“I didn’t think you cared, Simon! You haven’t said a word.” Her eyes grow wide. But then, she raises her chin to look me square in the eye. “I think you’re better off without her anyway.”

Something in me breaks. A reserve I’ve been holding comes completely undone as I realize I’ve wasted two weeks looking for Addie and this woman has had the key to her the whole time. I shout at Mercy, in a way that later, will make me feel a deep sense of shame.

“Better off? I am dying without her. She is the first person to love me without obligation!” She flinches, but I don’t care. “She didn’t choose her father any more than I chose my mother. But she chose me! Me! No one has chosen me before. Not even you.” I am winded with the effort of my tirade, but I need information. I lean on the counter, head bowed, and try to control my voice.

“What did she say?”

Mercy looks at me, eyes filled of sorrow and regret. She walks over to her purse, head down.

“Mercy, what did she say?” I ask impatiently.

She turns around to face me and holds out a crumpled envelope.

“I don’t know why I held on to it. I am sorry I kept it from you, Simon. I thought I was protecting you.”

I snatch the envelope from her and smooth it out.

Scrawled on the outside, in Addie’s awful left-handed scratch, is my name.

I open it carefully and sit down to read it.

“Dear Simon,

First, I want to say I am so sorry. I am sorry I didn’t tell you about my father myself. I am sorry you found out the way you did, and I am sorry I am not able to have this conversation with you in person.

LaSalle and Willis has offered me a position in the New York City office. I accepted. This career is all I know. Until I met you, it was all I ever wanted. I wish I had time to talk to you about this, but I lost my phone yesterday, and I didn’t have any time to decide whether or not to accept the offer. It was either this position in New York or nothing.

I haven’t been honest with you about my birth name and who my father is. I want you t

o know nothing else between us was false. Especially not my vow of love. I love you in a way I have never loved anyone before. You gave me a hope I hadn’t dared allow myself to have.

When you read this, please call me and let me know you’re okay. I hope this is not the end of us. I know long distance relationships are hard, but for you, I would try anything.

I hope you feel the same way. Here is my mother’s phone number and my private email. You should be able to reach me using one of these.

I hope I’ll hear from you, but I will understand if I don’t. I know I haven’t treated your fairly or well.

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