Page 47 of Bursting With Love
Jack couldn’t get sidetracked by the bullshit going on with Rush. If Rush didn’t want to let Jack back into his life, that was something he’d deal with at another time. With this new information, the fragility of life reverberated through him like a double-sided blade. Every slice tried to steal his strength and courage. Jack rose to his feet and stared out the window and into the darkness.
“Fuck that. I owe this to Linda and I owe it to Ralph.” Savannah’s words ran through Jack’s mind. I see Jack Remington, man, widower, soft-hearted-survivor-man-slash-pilot. Who can be a real ass when he gets scared. Jack wasn’t going to run scared anymore. Today he was making changes, and nothing was going to stop him. Not even his love for his brother. “I called because I wanted to try to clear the air with you, Rush. You’re my brother, man, and I love you, but I get it. You still see me as some prick who ran away from his life, and I don’t know how to fix that. But I can fix the shit with Ralph, and I intend to. With or without your support.”
“Selfish as ever,” Rush said before hanging up the phone.
Jack lowered the receiver from his ear, clenching it so tightly that his knuckles were white. “Shit.” He would not be dissuaded. He went outside and snagged his backpack from his motorcycle and leafed through Savannah’s registration form; then he picked up the phone and dialed her number. His forehead was damp with sweat despite the cool breeze coming through the open dining room window as seconds ticked by and her phone rang two, three, four times and finally went to voicemail. Hope soared within his heart at the sound of her recorded voice, reiterating the reason he wanted to change. Savannah.
“Hey, this is Jack.” Why do I sound so stern? He made a conscious effort to soften his tone, pacing while he left the rest of his message to try to walk off residual frustration from his conversation with Rush. “Savannah, I…uh…” Shit. I should have prepared. “I’d like to see you. Talk to you. Whatever you want. I don’t care if we talk on the phone or…I sound like an idiot. I’m sorry. If you have any interest, please call me.” He left her his number and hung up the phone feeling as nervous as a high school kid asking a girl out for the first time.
Before he lost his courage, he called information and got the number for Elise. The phone rang three times, and he mentally prepared to leave a message. Elise, this is Jack. I—
“Hello?”
Linda? Jack held his breath. Jesus, her voice was identical to Linda’s. Elise. It’s Elise. It had been so long since he’d spoken to her that he’d forgotten how similar they sounded.
“Elise, this is Jack. Jack Remington. Please don’t hang up,” he pleaded.
“Jack? Oh my God, Jack. Why would I hang up?”
Tears filled his eyes. “Why would you—I can think of a hundred reasons.” The words tumbled out without thought. Relief stole the tension from his body. He leaned against the wall, his neck arched and his eyes locked on the ceiling. Thank God.
“Oh, Jack. I’m so glad you called. I was going to try to reach you, but I was afraid to. I didn’t know if you’d be angry, or if, you know, it’d be too much of a reminder.”
Elise’s kindness also reminded him of Linda, and he lingered in that pleasant memory for a beat before answering.
“I heard about your dad, Elise, and I’m really sorry. I know he probably doesn’t want to have anything to do with me, but I’d really like to apologize to him. In person if he’ll allow it.” Come on. Give me this one break.
“He wants that, too, Jack. He feels horrible about the things he said. He drove out to your house once a week for months, just to try to get in touch with you. He said he left letters.”
Jack swallowed the thick, acidic taste of guilt. “He did. I got them, but I never opened them. I couldn’t, Elise. I could barely breathe. I know that sounds dramatic and probably crazy, but for a while there, I think I was crazy. It took a long time for me to become clearheaded, and the anger ran so deep that I couldn’t deal with any of it.”
“We know, Jack. Remember we all knew you before Linda’s accident, and people don’t change overnight. We knew you were grieving.”
Hearing her assess his emotions so easily and without judgment—so different from Rush’s harsh reaction—drew tears from Jack. He clenched his eyes shut and pressed his finger and thumb to them, but he could not stop the flow of tears. He sucked in a quick breath in an effort to compose himself, but it didn’t help.
