Page 121 of Dear Rockstar (Dear Rockstar 1)

I tried to speak, but no words would come. Besides, Dale wasn’t done.

“I know you’re scared. I know you’re hiding and you’re running and you don’t want to look around and see what’s right in front of you because it hurts too much. No one in your life really exists because you’re living in some fantasy where you’ll meet Tyler Vincent and he’s going to be your knight in shining armor come to rescue you from your miserable life. He’s going to have some magical cure for all your problems. He’ll say a few words and ‘presto!’ You’ll be happy!”

“Dale, no…” I whispered, but my words were drowned out by his.

“I know how much you hurt. I know how afraid and lost and alone you feel, even when you’re in my arms. Sara, I know.”

I blinked back tears, trying to hold them in, shaking my head to deny it, but it was true. It was all true. He did know, had always known, had been able to see through me and into me from the moment he walked into Mr. Woodall’s class and sat down beside me. I didn’t know how he could see so much, but he did.

I’d always been naked in front of him.

John opened his mouth once or twice, but obviously changed his mind. All the life and meaning and emotion had been sucked up into Dale’s eyes—they were blazing.

“You’re so selfish,” he whispered, chin trembling, lip quivering. I felt tears running down my cheeks. I couldn’t hold them back anymore. “Why are you like that? The world doesn’t revolve around you, Sara. I’ve been here for you. I’ve listened to you. I’ve tried to help you. And you just throw it back in my face. Girl… he doesn’t even know you’re alive. I’m the one who’s here for you. Me!”

His eyes were bright, too bright—with tears—but they didn’t fall.

The world doesn’t revolve around you.

That’s what I’d said to the stepbeast before I walked out.

I’m not like him. I’m not.

“What about me?” Dale took a deep breath. “What about me, Sara?”

“Don’t…” I swallowed, wiping the tears from my face. “Dale, please. I came here first thing to tell you, to share it with you. Can’t you be happy for me?”

“I am.” He shook his head, lowering it, so I couldn’t see his eyes. “But you didn’t come here for me. That was for you, Sara, not me. You wanted someone to cheer with you. And I did.”

He was right. In spite of his fear of losing me, in spite of his jealousy and possessiveness and desire to hold and keep me, he had loved me enough to congratulate me, to even tell me he was proud of me.

“Did you forget you have a prior commitment on April twenty-second?”

I stared at him, shaking my head, confused.

And then I understood.

The Battle of the Bands. The finals. That was April twenty-second.

“You wouldn’t stay for me, would you?”

“Dale…” My throat hurt from trying to hold back my tears, but they were falling anyway, all over my soggy catfish. John handed me a napkin and I took it. I’d forgotten he was even there. “I’m sorry… I’m sorry…”

It was all I could think of to say.

“That’s what I thought.” Dale leaned on the table, meeting my eyes, locking my gaze, not letting me look away. “You think he’s perfect and he’s safe and, in your head, he can do anything.”

My whole body was trembling, aching. I wanted him so much. I just wanted to run to him and put my arms around him and tell him I was sorry, that I wouldn’t go, I would stay with him. That I loved him. I knew I loved him and only him.

But I didn’t know what kept me glued to my chair, shaking and mute and miserable.

“But he can’t save you, Sara.” Dale choked. “And I can’t save you either.”

I can only save myself.

That voice in my head was firm and it steeled my spine. I wiped my tears with the napkin John had given me, my gaze never leaving Dale’s face.

His eyes were full of so much pain, it was hard to not look away, but I didn’t. I told myself I had to do this. It was my one, my only chance.

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