So that was the problem. Kitty’s imagination was working overtime as usual. She was always of the opinion that if something could go wrong, it would.

‘I think I might ask Anna if she can do an ultrasound for me,’ she said.

‘Why?’

‘Just to check things out. It’ll make me feel better.’

‘You have no reason to think anything is wrong. You’ve been feeling queasy, you’ve gone off coffee…’ He didn’t mention her sore breasts. ‘You’ve got all the right signs.’ He knew she had a tendency to worry overly about things and imagine all the things that go awry. ‘Have you had another blood test?’

‘Yes. My hCG levels are still rising.’

‘That’s a good sign, right?’

‘Yes.’

‘When is your scheduled ultrasound?’ he asked. He was trying to be the best friend that she expected. He had been consciously trying to stem any negative emotions. Those feelings weren’t useful to anyone. But ever since Kitty had confirmed her pregnancy and he’d experienced the unexpected sense of jealousy he had questioned why. And he’d finally figured it out.

Children of his own had never been on his agenda—in his mind if he couldn’t commit to a woman he didn’t deserve to father children—but with Kitty’s announcement he’d had to admit that he actually did want to be a father. He didn’t begrudge her the pregnancy, far from it, and it shouldn’t matter that she was going to have a baby. That shouldn’t impact on his ability to be supportive, and he knew he shouldn’t be jealous, but he was finding the reality a little different from the theory. All it did was remind him that someday soon Kitty might be having children of her own, and moving on from their friendship.

But that was his issue and he would deal with it, and in the meantime he would make sure he was supportive. Maybe being a surrogate uncle to Kitty’s children would suffice.

‘Eight days,’ she replied.

‘I think you should wait until the scan, then. Think of how exciting that is going to be. Don’t you want to be able to share that with Jess and Cam? Surely you don’t want to take that excitement away from them by having seen it all before?’

She sighed. ‘You’re right.’

‘Good girl. It’ll all be fine, you’ll see.’

‘How come you always know the right thing to say?’

He laughed. ‘Maybe to you, because I know you so well.’

‘Thanks, Joe.’ Kitty stood up and tossed her sandwich wrapper in the bin before hugging him.

He loved the feeling of her arms around him. She was still so tiny and he wondered how long it would be before he’d be able to feel a little baby bump. He didn’t imagine it would take long as there was nowhere for the baby to go except out. He wondered too how much the pregnancy would change her. She was worrying now—would she continue to worry progressively more and more throughout the pregnancy, or would she eventually accept that things were going according to plan and relax? Whatever happened, he vowed to be there for her and to help her to cope. He had always been her rock and he didn’t want that to change. No matter how he felt.

* * *

Kitty was starting to feel more like her normal self. Her morning sickness was abating and, at twenty-two weeks, she was now feeling like she thought she was supposed to—a glowing, pregnant woman. She hadn’t gained much weight yet except for in her breasts, but she felt voluptuous for the first time in her life and it was making her feel very feminine. She knew it was hormonal but she was constantly thinking about sex. She hadn’t had sex in six months, nearly seven, and she was beginning to think she might go crazy unless she did something about it.

And it seemed she wasn’t the only one. As she sat with Lisa and a couple of other nurses at the Manly Pier Hotel the talk turned, inevitably, to men and the lack of good ones.

Kitty was enjoying the evening. It was good to be out and nice to have the focus off the pregnancy for a little while. At home with Jess and Cam it had become the number one topic of conversation, so she was looking forward to talking about the things she used to discuss with her girlfriends. The pub was busy, the line at the bar a couple of people deep. It was her turn to buy the drinks but she didn’t feel like fighting her way through the crowd. Like a knight in shining armour Joe appeared and offered to place their order.

‘You and Joe aren’t an item?’ one of the nurses asked, continuing the conversation as she watched Joe walk to the bar.

‘No. Just friends,’ Kitty replied.

‘With benefits?’ Victoria asked.

‘No.’ Kitty shook her head.