Page 54 of Falling for His Best Friend

‘Tell me what’s happened,’ Joe said as they hit the sand.

‘Cam had a letter from the fertility clinic asking him what he wants to do with the remaining frozen embryos.’

Joe hadn’t realised there were surplus ones. ‘What are his options?’

‘He can destroy them, donate them to a couple who need them or he could keep them and use them.’

‘What does he want to do?’

As Joe asked the question he realised what the issue could be. Why Kitty was upset. Was Cam’s decision not the one Kitty wanted? Joe fought off a wave of panic—was Kitty thinking about offering to be a surrogate again? He knew she’d want to have as much of Jess as possible, which could include another baby, but if she went down this path again she was effectively putting her own life on hold once more and to Joe, that meant his life as well. He loved her but was he prepared to wait for ever?

His heart was in his mouth as he asked, ‘What do you want, Kitty?’

That was the crux of the matter. What did Kitty want?

A life with him or a life with her sister’s children?

She had to choose. He had to offer her a choice, and she had to make it.

* * *

Kitty had missed Joe. She’d missed everything about him. His kindness, his smile, his hands on her body, his lips on hers, his ability to listen without judging, his ability to make her feel better. It felt good to be back by his side. To confide in him.

She wanted to slide her hand into his as they walked. She wanted to feel connected to another person, but she wasn’t sure if they had that relationship any more. She wasn’t sure what they’d done to their friendship. Had they completely destroyed it? Had she?

She shoved her hands into the pockets of her shorts instead and kept pace alongside him on the sand.

He’d asked her what she wanted.

‘I want my family back,’ she replied honestly, knowing it was an impossible wish.

‘Kitty…’

‘It’s all right,’ she said, pre-empting his reply, ‘I know it’s not possible but it’s what I want.’

‘And is that why you’re still living with Cam?’ he asked. ‘Are they your family now? Is that what you want? Jess’s family?’

‘They are my family too,’ she protested. He couldn’t begrudge her that. ‘Lizzie needs me.’

‘I’m not disagreeing with that, but she is not your daughter. She is Cameron’s daughter. Your sister’s daughter. She is your niece. And you love her, as you should, but you should have daughters of your own. A family of your own. I know you want that.’

But that was the problem. She shook her head. ‘It’s not going to happen for me. Everyone always leaves me.’

‘I can make it happen.’

‘You?’

‘Yes. Me. Where do I fit into your life? Is there room for me? For us?’

‘Us? Is there an “us”?’

‘Of course there is. Nothing’s changed.’

She should be pleased to hear that. She’d been worried that he would cast her aside, move on, but in a sense this was what she’d really feared. That nothing had changed. And she didn’t want that. She didn’t want to be just friends. She wanted more. She loved him but she wanted her happily ever after, and she wasn’t going to get that from Joe.

He stopped walking and turned towards her. His face was serious, his blue eyes earnest. ‘You deserve to find your own happiness. With someone who loves you. You deserve a family of your own, a husband and children of your own, and I want to give it to you. You should be with me.’

‘What are you saying?’ She wasn’t sure she understood.

‘I promised I would always be there for you. I was there for you when your parents died, when Jess died… But I don’t just want to be there for you when things go wrong. I want to be there for you always. I want to be the one standing beside you in the good times and the bad. I love you, Kitty, and I want to give you a family of your own. A family with me. Let us build the life we want together. Marry me.’

‘But you don’t want to get married.’

‘I do.’ He reached out and took both her hands in his. Her racing heart slowed and calmed with his touch. She’d missed that, and she didn’t ever want him to let her go. ‘I was worried I couldn’t give you what you needed most—commitment—but the past few months have shown me that I want to try. I know you are the woman for me. You always have been, but the last few months have shown me just how much better my life is with you in it, how much happier I am. I’ve missed you with every piece of me and I will do everything I can to make this work. I want to marry you. I only intend to get married once, I intend to do it right, and with you I know I’ve got it right. We can do this. Together. I know I can be the man you need. I need to know if I am the man you want.’

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