Page 15 of Mixing Temptation (Second Shot 3)

“But I have a world-­class imagination.”

She kept her gaze focused on the road, noting the turns. She rarely drove, but she’d learned her way around the town. And she’d walked the dirt roads that skirted around downtown Forever plenty of times.

If she glanced at him, he might question the heat rising to her cheeks. He wasn’t the only one with an imagination. She’d memorized the way his work jeans hugged his butt. And daydreamed about the feel of his hard chest beneath her hands.

“Good day?” he asked as they barreled down the country road kicking up dust.

“Quiet,” she said. “Until Josie came by with Isabelle and half her closet. What about you?”

“Chad and I headed over to a tract of land Moore Timber’s been hired to harvest. We’re trying to figure out if we can get trucks in there or if we need the helicopter. The incline is pretty steep, so I’m guessing Chad will get to fly on this one.”

“Do you mind working with a helicopter?” she asked.

“After one hit me on the head and tried to kill me?” He glanced over at her. “My brother wasn’t flying that one, so I feel pretty safe out there now. Chad and I have gotten into it once or twice, but not much since he settled down with Lena. He has better things to do in his downtime than take a swing at me.”

No flashbacks? No paranoid feelings it might happen again?

“Plus, I got my short-­term memory back. No permanent damage. And it’s not like I remember what happened, so pretty easy to put it behind me. The past is in the past and all that.”

He turned onto a narrow dirt driveway. But she’d been too focused on his words to look for a sign out front. He’d reclaimed his memory. He’d let the past go. If only it was that simple for her. If only she could take back what had

been stolen from her.

JOSH PUSHED ON the brake and slowed the truck to a stop. Then he put it in park and turned to her. The surprise, dinner—­it could all wait until his date returned to the present. Right now, she was staring out the window as if her thoughts were miles away.

Something he said? He replayed their conversation over.

No permanent damage.

Yeah, her past wasn’t locked away. And it had done some serious damage. He hoped like hell it wasn’t permanent. The fact that she’d taken a chance on him suggested she might be ready to move forward. Sure, she’d waited a year before she’d asked. And longer before she agreed to a date and time. But she’d gone all in, dressing up for him.

He studied her outfit. The pink shirt’s spaghetti straps offered one helluva view of her toned shoulders. He’d never had a thing for women’s arms. Tonight, in that shirt, she might turn him into a convert. He wanted to run his hand over her smooth, bare skin. Get up close and personal with her toned biceps.

But first he needed to hit the reset button on their date.

“I know it’s not that easy for you,” he added.

“No, it’s not.” Her chin dropped to her chest as if she wished to study her hands clasped tight in her lap. “I was fearless when I joined the Marines. Even after my first deployment to Afghanistan, I was shaken, but still strong. I knew it wasn’t all sunshine and roses over there. I knew guys who were blown to pieces while on patrol. And I’d endured plenty of snide, sexist comments. But there were a lot of good guys too. So I signed on for another five years. I dreamed about promotions. And I thought I would be better the next time I deployed. With experience, I’d be able to do more. I was twenty-­four. Older and wiser.” She let out a harsh bark of laughter. “I thought I would become better. And instead . . . instead I became less.”

“No,” he said firmly.

“You didn’t know me before,” she said firmly. “I was fierce. At nineteen. At twenty-­four.”

“Still are,” he said.

She looked up at him with those sharp eyes. Her mouth formed a thin line. She looked more intimidating than half the crew chiefs he worked with and those guys easily had fifty pounds on her.

“Do you know how many times I’ve checked over my shoulder today?” she demanded. “I’m scared and I can’t run from the feeling. It follows me, stripping away who I was.”

“You’re still the toughest woman I know. And my brothers hooked up with some pretty badass chicks,” he said. “But you’re the most interesting. Certainly the sexiest. Although I’ve never pictured Kat or Lena naked. Chad would kick my ass for that. And even Brody might take a swing at me.”

He won a small smile. But he’d hoped for a laugh. He leaned over, resting his right forearm on the center console. He raised his left and brushed the back of his hand over her cheek before lowering it to the car’s center. “Caroline—­”

“I wanted to be less of myself. After he attacked me. The way I looked. The way I behaved—­I wanted to wipe it all away. It took taking a step back and coming home to the States before I woke up to the fact that he didn’t attack me because of how I looked or because I tried so hard to fit in and be ‘one of the guys.’ ”

Josh stared at his date. Suddenly the gulf between a second kiss at a wedding—­under the pretense of a false relationship—­and where they stood now looked like a river lined with white-­water rapids instead of the smooth first date pond. What if he’d messed up and she wasn’t ready to date again? What the hell did he know about surviving rape? Or shit, surviving a war? He’d never served.

But he’d had his sense of self stripped away along with his memory. And he’d been pulled close to depression waiting for it to return, wondering if he’d ever wake up with a clear picture of what had happened yesterday or the day before that.

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