Page 43 of Broken Rules (The Elites of Weis-Jameson Prep Academy 2)

“Go to the fucking police, Emmett!” I snap, knowing he’ll refuse yet again. “We’re wasting time trying to figure this out on our own, and we’re no closer to having any answers now than we were when we started! Let’s just please, please go to the police. Or hire a private detective or something!”

“The detectives all know the cops,” he argues. “You know it’s too risky. The cops in this town are no good, and I have a feeling they’re out to get me. What if they try to pin the whole thing on me?”

“What if they’re not as against you as you think and have nothing to do with Bernadette’s disappearance? And by not going to them, you shoot yourself and her…and me in the foot by not reporting it. Do you have any idea how it would look if they found out we knew about this for so long and said nothing?”

“That’s on my mom,” he insists. “She’s the one who swore it was the worst possible idea. She made me promise not to.” I pace the room in silence, not knowing what else to possibly suggest. “I was thinking about talking to Vivian. Like you suggested. I did promise if nothing panned out with your dad that I would go to her and Lily.”

I can’t help but groan at the idea of confronting those two again, especially after what happened last time. “When?” I ask resentfully. I don’t want to do it, but I knew from the beginning they’d probably be our best lead.

“I was going to go tonight,” he mumbles nonchalantly.

It struck me as odd that he didn’t want to come to dinner at all when I first asked. Then he was late. Now he’s conveniently telling me he was thinking of meeting up with Vivian tonight. “Would you have gone to see her without telling me?” I ask through the lump in my throat.

“No, of course not,” he replies unconvincingly.

“Okay, well, I’ll get my things and come with you,” I announce, turning to grab my purse. “Let’s go.”

He stands and purses his lips, shuffling towards me awkwardly. “Actually…I think it’d be best if you didn’t come.”

I laugh out loud, but he’s dead serious. “What the hell do you mean I shouldn’t come with you? To go see Vivian!? Why…so I don’t step in to stop your fucked up foreplay like last time?”

Suddenly, I’m afraid that’s what the weird, kinky stuff at the hotel was about. Is that the kind of thing Vivian and he used to do? Lily seemed to think so. Did he miss it so much that he tried to get me to play along?

“No, it’s nothing like that. Don’t be ridiculous,” he insists. “Vivian acts different when you’re not around. She won’t be so confrontational if it’s just me. And maybe you could meet with Lily while I see Vivian.”

“You’re not hearing me, Emmett,” I say slowly and clearly to the point of insult. “I don’t want you to be alone with Vivian. Period. I don’t trust her. I just know something will happen.”

“You don’t have to trust her,” he says, growing angrier. “You just have to trust me. Don’t you?”

The words stings. Trust. How can I possibly trust Emmett after everything he has done to me? I am giving him a chance at redemption, but always with the lingering fear that at any moment, he will go back to the way he was before. Always with fear and hesitation. I keep the expectation of it happening in place to protect myself, but maybe that’s what will be our downfall. By not trusting and having faith in his ability not to mess this up, I’m manifesting his failure. My inability to trust him is what’s dooming both of us.

My lips part but nothing comes out. I can’t lie to him, but I don’t want to say the truth. I want to trust him, but I don’t. Not when it comes to Vivian. I know what our little violent encounters used to turn into when the tables were turned. And I can’t stop myself from wondering what would have happened at Lily’s if they had been alone.

“This isn’t just about us, Ophelia!” he shouts after I don’t reply. “This is about my family. You understand?”

“You said you loved me,” I remind him. “Doesn’t that make me like family? I’m sorry…I just can’t be okay with you running off alone with Vivian. I can’t. You don’t want me to be alone with Malcolm. It’s only fair.”

“Do you think Malcolm knows anything about my sister?” he asks in a sarcastic rage. “Cause if so…then by all means go do what you need to do.”

“Oh, how convenient…a sacrifice you know you won’t actually have to make,” I shoot back, rolling my eyes.

I want to be more sympathetic. Softer to him right now while he’s stressing out, especially knowing he might still end the night with Vivian against my wishes. The last thing I want to do is make him think I don’t care and then send him off to her while he’s angry and questioning our relationship. But I can’t seem to break through this wall I have about the two of them. It’s overpowering everything else inside of me.

“I just have a terrible feeling about it is all,” I try again, softening my tone. I walk over to him and try to take his hand in mine, hoping to stop our argument. “Just please let me come with you. I promise I won’t let things get out of control like last time.”

He considers it for a moment and then looks away. “I don’t know,” he mutters under his breath. “I’m so exhausted. I don’t even know if I’m up to talking to her tonight. I just don’t know what else to do.” He looks at me again, his eyes distant in thought. “I think I’m just going to go to bed. I’ve felt so tired and lost all day. Let’s figure all of this out tomorrow, okay?”

He tries to lean in for a quick dismissive peck to my forehead, but I flinch back. “What are you talking about?” I ask in an accusing panic. I know he’s not going to go to sleep. This is just to keep me at bay so he can go see Vivian. Maybe it’s paranoia, but I can’t convince myself of anything different. “Stay here,” I plead with him, trying to pull him close to me again. “My mom won’t bother us for a while,” I add suggestively, standing on my toes to lure him in for a kiss.

“I just said I was tired, Ophelia,” he groans. “I’m not in the mood.”

My heart sinks. He’s never refused me—not since we started this up again. The only time he has ever refused me was when he was still with Vivian.

“Are you lying so you can go see her?” I ask against my better judgment. I know it’s only going to make him mad and push me away, but I can’t stop myself. He feels like sand slipping through my fingers, and I am desperately trying everything I can to hold on. “Or is something else going on? Something you’re not telling me?”

“No!” he whines, pushing me away. “I’m just fucking tired, okay? Let it go. I’ll call you tomorrow.”

“Please don’t go,” I mumble too quietly as he walks out the door. I don’t want him to hear me. Not really. At this point I know he’s going to leave anyway, and I want to save some shred of my dignity. If there’s even any left.

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