Page 116 of Hidden Agendas (Tempting SEALs 4)

He pressed his head into the wall behind him as he stared up at the ceiling.

“Have you seen my wife?” he asked desperately. “Did you meet her?”

“No.” She could see him tensing, feel him fighting the drugs tearing through him.

“Ahh, she’s a wee lit’l thing. Soft as down, her flesh is.” The accent thickened. “Her smile like sunshine. Her eyes the prettiest shade of gray. Like a dove.”

“She sounds beautiful.” Emily’s breath released on a sob as his back arched, the chords in his neck standing out in sharp relief as a horrible groan left his chest.

“My beautiful lit’l lass. Will she remember I loved her?”

His head lifted, his arms dropping to his sides, and a second later a crude knife appeared in his hands. It was no more than a thin strip of metal, but the wicked edge that gleamed beneath the light had Emily swallowing tightly.

“Nathan?” Emily sat up straighter in the cot.

“I’d rather die than betray her,” he whispered hoarsely, handling the knife confidently, running it over his fingers. “I’ve had this for a while now, contemplating, planning. You know, she’d rather I fuck than die. If it were her, I’d never hold it against her, would I, now? I’d love her until death took my last breath.”

“Hold on, Nathan,” Emily sobbed. “Please. Please hold on.”

Emily stared back at him dry-eyed, her gaze caught by that knife. She knew what he was going to do. He was going to honor his vows to the woman he loved the only way he knew how. He would end up killing either himself or her.

“I love my wee lass,” he whispered, his gaze caught by the knife. “Do ya know suicide is a sin, Emily?”

“Yes.” Tears slid down her cheeks. “She wouldn’t want you to commit a sin, Nathan.”

“So is fornication,” he whispered, turning that mad gaze back on her. “Betraying the vows I made to her. Rape is a sin. It’s takin’ what belongs to another. Which is the lesser sin? Takin’ my own life or yours? Or committin’ adultery and rape, lass? Where is the greatest pain?”

Rage, pain, and madness were reflected in his eyes. He had survived this long because he hadn’t broken those vows to his wife. Nineteen months he had been in this hell, and he hadn’t broken.

“Nathan, just a little longer,” she whispered. “Kell will be here. He’ll take us both out of here and it won’t hurt anymore.”

“Everything hurts,” he said roughly, dragging the blanket closer to his nude body.

“Will she know I loved her?” he asked as he huddled against the wall.

Emily felt her lips tremble. “She knows.”

He paused, his eyes closing briefly before focusing on her once more. “I’m sorry,” he said then. “It’s the drug. It’s hard to find her when the drug is like this. I search and search for her. I can hear her. But I can’t find her.”

For a moment wry humor entered his eyes before the madness took his gaze once again.

A scream echoed through the cell then. Emily’s head swung toward the door, hearing the rat-a-tat of gunfire and voices suddenly raised in alarm. Her eyes flew back to Nathan.

“Kell.” She moved carefully to the side of the cot. “Kell’s here, Nathan. Do you hear that?”

He held the knife easily, tracking her every move.

“Listen, Nathan.” The gunfire was closer. “He’s here. You can’t give up.” Tears fell from her eyes then, fear and pain, rage and joy surging inside her all at once as Nathan stepped closer.

In his eyes she saw his death. The drug had stolen what little sanity Nathan Malone possessed and all that was left was the animal the SEALs had created. The drug could rule the body, but the man had been trained, honed, and molded into a creature of death. And rather than betray all he loved, he would die.

The man was stripped away now, and all that was left was the creature.

“Oh God, Nathan, please. He’s here. Kell is here,” she whispered beseechingly. “Don’t let them take this from you. God, please, don’t let them steal your rescue.”

She had to make him see reason, had to make him listen. What had he said earlier? A certain position reminded him of his wife.

She laid her head back against the wall, revealing only her profile to him, fighting to breathe, certain this was her last chance. If he didn’t see reason now, then she was going to be a bloody mess when Kell arrived.

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