Page 73 of Julien (Confessions 2)

There was one room after another, and each one was picture perfect. Robbie was positive that the furnishings in one room alone likely cost more than all of the furniture in his ma’s house. It was insane.

As he rounded a corner, he noticed some photographs hanging up on the wall. There, that’s more like it, he thought, moving closer, wanting to see what Julien had looked like as a little boy. But as he neared the collage of frames and images, it became clear that this wasn’t a display from proud parents, nor was it a display of a family over the years, like his ma had.

No, this was a memorial. It was a wall full of a little girl, then a teenage girl, and finally a young woman. All of whom, Robbie knew, were Jacquelyn.

With his heart in his throat, Robbie took a step forward to examine the face staring out at him and was shocked by the eyes looking back at him.

“I had a sister. A twin sister. Her name was Jacquelyn. She died eight years ago.”

Julien’s words came back to him as Robbie stood there studying the beautiful face in each image. But what Julien hadn’t told him was the uncanny resemblance they shared even as twins.

From the smile—those full lips—to the stunning green eyes, Jacquelyn’s features were a close to exact replica of Julien’s. Her skin was the same tone, her hair the same color, and she even had that dimple on the right side of her cheek.

It was surreal, and Robbie couldn’t imagine how it was for Julien to see her so clearly whenever he looked in a mirror. He’d never be able to escape. Never be able to not see her. Not unless he shut his mind down. Not unless he slept or meditated.

Oh shit, now it makes more sense, Robbie thought. Most nightmares, most demons or ghosts, haunted people at night in their sleep. But Julien’s? His usually came during the day, when he was awake and could see.

Robbie’s eyes shifted from photo to photo, and as he looked closer, he realized that most of them were…torn?

No. No, he had to be wrong. There was no way his parents would be that cruel.

But as Robbie reached out and trailed his fingers down one of the images—Jacquelyn laughing, as she stood by a Christmas tree, wrapped up in a red coat—he spotted it. The bottom of a black coat brushing up against hers, as though someone else had been in the image. Someone who had made her laugh that way, someone she was angled toward, and someone who had been cut out and forever erased from that memory.

Robbie jerked his hand away as though he’d been burned. God, how could they do that? But as Robbie’s eyes moved from image to image, he knew what he was seeing was true.

Julien had been removed from each and every one of these photos, and as if that wasn’t heartbreaking enough, in every image, Jacquelyn was so clearly smiling at the one she loved most—the one who was no longer there.

Robbie brought his fingers up to his mouth and wasn’t sure if he was holding back a sob or a scream. But then he wiped away a tear from his cheek and found he was more determined than ever to find Julien.

He wanted to find his Julien, and reassure him that he had a place, that he belonged somewhere. And that place was with Robbie and Priest.

Chapter Twenty

CONFESSION

All you are now, ma petite poulette,

is the love I have for you.

ROBBIE WALKED DOWN several more halls, and when he came to a door that was pulled nearly all the way shut, he stopped in his tracks. All of the other rooms had been wide open, but not this one, which had him reaching for the handle.

As he wrapped his fingers around it and slowly pushed it open, the first thing he noticed was how dark it was inside. In all the other rooms there had been windows from wall to wall, and the lights from outside had spilled in through them. But this room was swallowed up by the shadows.

Robbie took a careful step inside, barely able to see, and as he scanned the space, he spotted a shard of light coming through the top of a heavy set of curtains, and followed it to a wall of…books.

It’s a library, Robbie thought, and took another step forward, his eyes trailing down the shelves until he saw the silhouette of someone sitting on the floor in the corner.

“Jules?” he said on a rush, as he hurried in that direction, not caring now if he ran into anything along the way. “Jules…”

Without hesitation, Robbie went down to his knees beside Julien, who was sitting on the ground with his back up against the bookshelf, his legs pulled up against his chest, and his arms wrapped around them tight. He was staring off into nothing, and beside him sat a bottle of alcohol.

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