Page 69 of Julien (Confessions 2)

This was her place. A room she’d made her own. And when he pushed open the door, Julien stared inside to see the heavy curtains drawn, making the mahogany walls and bookshelves appear more like a coffin than the traditional Victorian library their mom had modeled it after.

He walked inside and ran his fingers over the books in the shelves. Most were fiction. Some romances, some thrillers, some paranormal, and when he got to the spot he was looking for, Julien pulled an old hardback free and stared down at the worn cover.

Little Women.

It was the copy he’d given to her all those years ago, and inside was a bookmark of where she’d been up to on her reread. He’d never been able to bring himself to see where she’d been at, and tonight was no different.

He didn’t bother opening the curtains, didn’t bother switching on a light. Instead, Julien sat down on the floor with his back against the shelf, shut his eyes, and hugged the book tightly to his chest.

Every year he fought against this. He fought against coming back to this house where he knew she was. He fought it, and at the same time knew he would never stop coming. Not as long as he was physically able to get there.

He laid his head down on his knees, and as he wound his arms around his legs, he felt her sitting right there beside him.

“I’m so sorry, ma petite poulette,” he whispered, and let every piece of his heart shatter all over again. “I wish I could tell you how sorry.”

And though he knew it was likely the alcohol, Julien could’ve sworn he heard, “I know, Jules. But it’s too late…”

Chapter Nineteen

CONFESSION

It was everything a first kiss shouldn’t be.

Yet it shocked me straight to my heart

and reminded me that I’m alive.

“HE’S BEEN GONE awhile,” Robbie said from his spot on the plush settee where he’d taken up residence around twenty minutes ago.

After they’d brought their bags inside and locked up, they’d quickly realized that they were the only ones there, and Julien’s parents must be out. So Priest had directed them into an enormous living space that was home to some of the most spectacular views Robbie had ever seen.

The Stone Canyon Reservoir, Priest had told him, and Robbie couldn’t help but wonder how much a place like this would run a person. It was, in a word, mind-blowing.

Not only did Robbie feel as though he were on top of the world up there. But they also got to look down on everyone from what looked like a French parlor from the old days, which had one of the most gorgeous baby grands he’d ever seen sitting off in the corner.

“You’re right, he has,” Priest finally said as he got to his feet and started to pace back and forth in front of the wall of windows. It was obvious he had been trying to give Julien some space when they’d arrived, maybe to deal with his parents on his own? But since they weren’t there, Robbie could tell Priest was getting anxious over letting Julien out of his sight for so long. “I’m going to go and check the kitchen. That’s usually where he winds up.”

As Priest crossed the living room, Robbie stood to follow, and Priest came to a stop and looked back.

“I won’t be more than a few minutes. You can wait here if you like.”

“What I’d like,” Robbie said, and slipped his hand into Priest’s, sensing his need for comfort of some sort, even if he wouldn’t say it out loud, “is to come with you to find Julien.”

Priest looked down to their joined hands, and then he raised his eyes back to Robbie, who gave him a pointed look, daring him to tell him he couldn’t.

“Very well. Let’s go.”

Priest weaved the two of them down several halls and through too many doors to count, and as they went, Robbie tried to resist the urge to gape at everything.

The place was like a museum with trinkets and mementos all over the walls, from expensive artwork to stunning furnishings in each room, and when they finally stepped into the kitchen and found it empty, Priest braced his hands on the island and shook his head.

“Hey,” Robbie said, and came up by his side. “I’m sure he’s close by.” In relative terms, because honestly, he had no idea how big this house was.

A fierce frown pulled between Priest’s brows as he scanned the gourmet kitchen. “Something doesn’t feel right.”

Robbie put his hand over Priest’s where it rested on the granite counter. “Well, you’re the one who said this weekend was a hard one. So it’s probably just—”

“No. It’s not that,” Priest said, as he continued to look around. “It’s too quiet. It feels…empty.”

Robbie scrunched his nose up as he looked around, and couldn’t deny that. He’d just compared it to a museum. It was quiet and empty. It felt—

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