Page 49 of Julien (Confessions 2)

Shit. He was in so deep here. Like…deeper than deep. He was down at the bottom of the damn ocean when it came to how far he’d gone under for these two. But as he stood there watching them with one another, Robbie felt as though he’d found a hidden treasure at the bottom of that ocean.

First there was Priest, with his serious “take charge and care of all those around him” disposition, who made Robbie feel safe whenever he was around. He made Robbie feel as though he could let go and finally be himself—his real self—and Priest could help him discover exactly who that was. Robbie trusted him to lead him in the right direction. It was freeing that feeling, to let someone else take control. It was…liberating. And the pleasure he felt when he did something that pleased Priest made Robbie feel more accepted and complete than he ever knew was possible.

Then there was Julien—a man full of contradictions. A man who Robbie found himself falling harder for every time he opened his mouth or looked in Robbie’s direction. At times Julien was so in control, much the way Priest was. He was arrogant, gorgeous, and entirely capable of making one believe he had everything in the world he would ever need. But under that successful façade, behind that famous smile, there was a tortured soul. And that part of him called to Robbie in ways he’d never known it would. He wanted to help Julien. He wanted to understand what made this complex man tick. And he wanted Julien to trust him with his secrets.

As if the man he was thinking about could feel Robbie watching him, Julien glanced in his direction, and a lazy smile—courtesy of Tate’s alcohol—curved that sinful mouth of his.

Sweet mother of all that was holy, Julien was damn easy on the eyes. He was wearing a forest-green V-neck sweater tonight, and it made his eyes vivid, like gemstones—or maybe that was the alcohol adding an extra gleam? Robbie wasn’t sure, but he was more than aware of how many drinks he’d made for Julien, and with each one, that smile became looser and his expression more devilish.

Julien was clearly in the mood to forget his problems this evening, and it appeared that Priest was going to watch over him as he did, because he had switched to club soda after his first Old Fashioned.

“So…you going to tell me what’s going on there?” Bianca said, as she came up beside Robbie and wiped down the bar. “Or are you going to leave me hanging?”

Robbie tore his eyes away from Julien’s hypnotic stare and faced Bianca, who was giving him her best spill look.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Bianca rolled her eyes. “Don’t even try to tell me there’s nothing going on there, mister. I’m not stupid,” Bianca said, and slid her eyes back to the booth, where Julien was now eyeing Priest like he was something particularly tasty, and Robbie would agree—he wouldn’t mind eating Priest either.

Fuck, is it time to leave yet?

“What I’m trying to work out,” Bianca continued, “is which one you’re into, and why you keep doing this to yourself.”

Which…one? Robbie thought, as he studied Bianca’s sympathetic expression. Hang on, she thinks… Well, duh, of course she thinks this is just like Logan and Tate. Hello, Bianchi, that’s exactly how it looks. But no—

“Wait a second,” Robbie said, and grabbed her arm, turning her away from the customers mingling around the bar. “I’m not into one of them.” Robbie laughed when a frown marred Bianca’s forehead. “I’m with both of them.”

As his words seemed to compute, her eyes widened, and her mouth parted, the scandalized look making Robbie laugh even harder.

“But…” Bianca turned her head to look back at the two in the booth, and when Robbie did also, it was to see that Julien had now moved around to Priest’s side and was sitting very close to his husband.

Day-um. He really wanted to go over there and participate in whatever the hell was going on, but no—the clock hadn’t ticked by any faster.

“They’re… You’re…” Bianca said, and Robbie nodded.

“Exactly.”

“But all three?” she said, her final word ending on a high note. “Isn’t that complicated?”

“No,” Robbie said, and wondered why everyone automatically assumed that was the case. He’d never actually been in a relationship that felt as easy or natural as this one. “It’s not complicated at all. Right now it’s frustrating because I really want to go over there, but…”

Bianca looked back to the two men, and saw Julien kissing his way up Priest’s neck. Robbie wondered what she would think about all that. But when she said, “Hell, I wouldn’t mind going over there either right now,” Robbie couldn’t hold back his loud, slightly tense, burst of laughter, making those at the bar and the two causing his reaction to stop what they were doing and aim their attention in his direction.

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