Page 66 of For Lila, Forever

“Everything?”

“Everything.”

“So you know about the NDA?” I ask.

He nods. “I know that you were coerced into signing it. I know that you were young and scared and you probably felt like you had no choice. He knew you had no legal representation, he knew you were naïve, and he took advantage of that.”

I drag in a breath that cools me from head to toe. “You have no idea how terrified I was.”

“Any reputable judge would throw that contract out the window because you signed it under duress,” he says. “But that’s neither here nor there. I want to move forward, Lila. I don’t want to focus on everything we missed. It’s upsetting, and I don’t want to be upset when I’m around you. And MJ.”

Our waitress brings our coffees and he releases my hand.

“I hate that you went through that alone,” Thayer says, his strong, steady hands wrapped around the white ceramic mug.

“I had my grandparents.” I stir a splash of creamer into mine before reaching for a sugar packet. “And my friend, Taylor.”

“I wish I could’ve been there to welcome her into the world,” he says. “Last thing I said to the old bastard was that I’d never forgive him for taking that away from us.”

I almost choke on my sip of coffee. “I bet that went over well.”

Thayer shrugs. “I mean, he wasn’t thrilled to hear that. Nor was he thrilled to hear all the other things I said to him after that. Crazy thing is, he dropped dead the next night. Heart attack in his sleep, they think.”

The way he’s so nonchalant about this is strange. I know he’s angry, but I also know his grandfather was his everything growing up. They had a bond like nothing else.

“Isn’t that so typical of him?” Thayer asks. “It’s almost like he died of a broken heart just to spite me. He was always manipulative like that.”

“He called me Sunday morning,” I say. “Told me I had twenty-four hours to move out of the house.”

“Ah. That was the morning after I had words with him,” he says. “I’m sure the moment he hung up with you, he speed-dialed his attorney to have me written out of the will. That was his last threat to me, like the promise of money was worth more to me than you.”

His words catch me off guard.

I know he’s spent all these years looking for me, but I had no idea his feelings were still so strong that he’d be willing to risk his inheritance, his future, and guaranteed financial security. I sip my coffee, convincing myself that I’m reading into it too much. People say a lot of things when their emotions run high.

“So where do we go from here?” he asks after an extended pause.

“I guess we should have you meet MJ— properly and as her father,” I say. “We can transition you into her life and then we can talk about some kind of visitation—”

His head tilts and he half-laughs. “Lila. That much I assumed. I’m talking about us. You and me. Where do we go from here?”

So many times over the years I imagined what it’d be like to reunite with him. I’d always imagined I was in a better place than this. That I was financially independent and successful and the kind of grown woman he’d be proud to have on his arm.

I’m lucky if I wash my hair more than twice a week, and I’m pretty sure most of my lipsticks are expired. I can’t remember the last time I wore a dress, and I’ve been using up my current bottle of perfume going on three years now.

Every time I Googled him during our time apart, I’d be met with dozens of photos of him—mostly work-related. He was always in a tailored suit, polished and clean cut, standing tall and proud like the successful man he clearly grew up to be.

He’s Manhattan in every sense of the word: metropolitan, worldly, dapper and debonair.

And I’m Summerton: safe, a little boring, and otherwise unremarkable.

“I don’t know.” I bury my face in a sip of coffee, buying time to think about how I’m going to answer him.

“Lila.” He chuffs. “What don’t you know? I’ve waited years to find you so we could be together again.”

“You act like it’s so simple. Like we just pick up where we left off.”

“It can be as simple or as complicated as we make it.”

“Look.” I place my mug down and fold my hands. “I love you. I always have and I always will. I miss what we had so bad it hurts sometimes. And I love the idea of us being together again. But it’ll never be the way it was. You grew up. I grew up. We’ve built completely different lifestyles that couldn’t clash more.”

Not to mention, I’m homeless and jobless. While I know Thayer would never judge me for that, a woman needs to have a little dignity and confidence before she goes barreling headfirst into a relationship she wants to work out more than anything in the world.

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