Page 25 of For Lila, Forever

“I’ve known Ashlan my entire life,” he says.

“Yeah. She made that pretty clear to me yesterday.”

“She’s like a sister to me. Nothing more.” He’s breathing heavier now, like I’ve got him all worked up. If he were lying, I’d imagine he’d be calmer.

“Clearly she feels differently about you.”

He rolls his eyes. “Yeah, I know. And believe me, I’ve made myself clear to her about a dozen different times over the last few years.”

I knew girls like Ashlan back home. They’d become obsessed with a guy, creep his MySpace and Facebook, show up where he was, infiltrate his group of friends, flirt like hell and scare off other girls who so much as looked at the guy, and then when none of that worked, they got desperate.

It’s like the more they couldn’t have him, the more they wanted him.

I suppose it’s not Thayer’s fault …

… if this is all true, anyway.

“I swear to you, Lila, I got her back to her room and left,” he says, hand over his heart. “But can we get back on track here? We were talking about us.”

Us.

There is no “us.”

“Just tell me how you feel. If you’re not interested, if you don’t feel the same about me, I’ll leave you alone,” he says.

Drawing in a long breath, I take a seat, sinking into the stiff cushions of the dusty sofa with the scratchy fabric.

“It doesn’t matter how I feel,” I say before looking up into his dreamy, ocean-hued gaze. I never realized how dark his lashes were before, how they frame his almond-shaped eyes. “I promised my grandparents I’d keep things strictly professional while I’m here,” I huff.

Thayer takes a seat in his chair, elbows on his knees and hands forming a peak that he breathes into.

“My grandfather gave me the same orders,” he says. “Not to get involved with you … for liability reasons. At least that’s what he said.”

“That’s the difference between us, Thayer … I have everything to lose if I defy my grandparents. If you defy your grandfather, you still have everything.”

His dark brows furrow. “That’s not true at all.”

Yeah. Right.

“My grandfather holds the purse strings that keep this entire family under his thumb. He’s got more money than he knows what to do with and he’s always used it to get people to bend to his will—most of the time without them even knowing it,” he says. “The houses he bought for his daughters as wedding gifts? He chose them. Which meant he chose the locations. He wanted them to be in Bridgeport, where he lived at the time. And my college tuition? He wanted me to go to his alma mater and promised to pay for my entire education if I did. Even bought me a Land Rover for my college graduation because God forbid I didn’t look every bit the part when I showed up that fall. You know what I drove before that? A used Nissan. Paid for it myself with money I earned working weekends at the golf course. And I loved the hell out of that car.”

I let this sink in, trying to wrap my head around it and replacing my old assumptions with new facts.

“So while it looks like I have it all,” he continues. “It’s only because I walk a straight line with Granddad. One misstep and I lose it all. And honestly? Somedays I think I’d be okay with that.”

I roll my eyes. “If you’re trying to get me to feel sorry for you …”

“Please. I don’t need your sympathy. I’m trying to illustrate a point to you.”

“What? That you like me so much you’re willing to throw away your entire future?” I chuff. “If that’s the case, then I’m sorry, but you’re not nearly as bright as I thought you were. No offense …”

“You don’t have to be cruel to push me away. If you don’t like me, just say it, Lila.” His expression is blank but his eyes are searching.

I begin to speak and then I stop myself. Taking a deep breath, I try again. “You’re too nice, and your persistence is just as flattering as it is infuriating. I hate how charming you are and how the things you say get stuck in my head like a catchy song. You’re almost too good looking, which I know isn’t your fault. You can’t help that you’re genetically doomed to look like a Greek statue the rest of your life. Everybody loves you. Everybody. Your grandfather adores you. Westley idolizes you. You’re the center of your parents’ world. And your mother is one of the sweetest people I’ve ever met. You’re intelligent and kind and helpful. Everything about you and your entire world is perfect, Thayer. Maddeningly perfect. And as much as I try not to … I can’t help but like you too.”

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