Page 91 of His Best Friend's Baby

“How?” he asked.

“Well, clearly you don’t love Vicodin as—”

“No,” Jesse gasped. “How can you wake up that way? I wake up and all I think about is the damage I’ve done.”

Caleb smiled, sadly. “It’s easy. Because I’m alive. Because every day I wake up and get to cause trouble and write about it. I get to eat enchiladas and look at women. They don’t look back quite as much as they used to, but I can live with that. Every day is a gift, man. And you gave it to me.”

Caleb limped over and clapped him on the back. “Mitch, Dave, Artie—they were soldiers, not school teachers. They knew the risks.”

“It doesn’t make it any easier to live with.”

“Nope.” Caleb nodded. “I don’t suppose it does. But at least you get to live with it.”

Caleb hobbled over to the couch then eased himself onto it. Jesse’s body buzzed with static electricity, like the air before lightning strikes.

“Your niece said you had a girlfriend.” Caleb groaned as he lifted his leg up on to the couch. “Julia or something.”

“Julia,” he murmured. He stared out the window at the street. Girlfriend? What a ludicrous word to apply to Julia.

“You’ve got a girlfriend. Good-looking dog.” He yawned. “Crackerjack niece. Nice house in a nice town. Sounds like a good life to me.”

It was. It was a good life. And it was his. He just needed the balls to go after it. He’d nearly thrown it all away, and why? Because Ron Adams said he didn’t deserve it? Because Jesse himself thought he didn’t deserve it.

He groaned and stared at the ceiling.

He did deserve it. And more than that—he wanted it.

Finding out that Dave fired first and that Mitch pursued the enemy didn’t change anything, but Caleb with his injuries and hope…well, it was inspiring.

“I’ll do the story,” he said as he turned and caught Caleb with his eyes drifting shut.

“The story?” he said. “Good, because part one comes out tomorrow morning. Front page of the Los Angeles Times. Papa wants a new Pulitzer.” He rubbed his good hand over his face and through his hair. “Hey, you don’t mind if I just take a little nap here do you? My driver isn’t coming back until tomorrow morning.”

“You need anything?” Jesse asked. He pulled the old green afghan from where it had been folded for decades over the back of the couch. He draped it over Caleb.

“A blind, warm and willing woman?”

Jesse laughed, he really laughed from the gut through his chest. He was oddly humbled by Caleb. Who was he to pity himself so much when Caleb had real gratitude and a sense of humor as sharp as a knife?

He felt ashamed, almost. For the time he’d lost in self-pity.

Julia had been right. She’d been right from day one—you’ve got to believe in the good things, or what’s the point?

“I’ll go hit town and see what I can dig up.”

Caleb smiled, though his eyes were shut.

“I’ve gotta take off for a while,” Jesse said and Caleb’s one eye popped open.

“Bring back some burgers. And fries. God, I’d kill for some grease.”

“You got it.”

Jesse hit the door running.

RACHEL AND MAC wouldn’t give Jesse the time of day when it came to Julia’s whereabouts. But Amanda, for the price of an exclusive interview with him and the drugged-up journalist on his couch, ended up giving him Julia’s address.

He parked the Jeep on the curb and took the outside steps up to 3C, two at a time. He’d wasted enough time. He’d caused her enough grief.

He knocked and the minute’s wait between his fist on the door and the sound of Julia’s footsteps was the longest minute of his life. He died a thousand times, his heart stopped, his vision blurred, he couldn’t get his breath.

God, he thought, love is killing me.

But when the door opened and Julia stood there with an expression of thrilled joy she couldn’t quite contain into something far more mundane, it was all worth it.

He heard Ben in the other room yelling “Swiper no swiping!” Jesse wanted to step into that room, shut the door behind him and hoard this family all to himself. He wanted all their screams, their laughs, their broken strollers and foolish optimism. He wanted their futures, every moment that was going to come their way. He wanted to be there for all of it. The good, bad and boring.

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